[QUOTE=Ruken]
No, it’s not unusual in my experience either; I do just the same. The first person at the door opens and holds; it’s just easier that way. But I think we’re talking about women who will get to the door first and just stand there waiting until the “gentleman” opens it for her. Yes, it happens. And not just when the woman is physically infirm or something. See post #77:
So here we have a whole family that deliberately makes their invited guest uncomfortable until he conforms to their expectations of deferential behavior. If he fails to do so, never fear! The gentlemanly 8-year-old is there to *publically draw attention to his *(supposed) faux pas. How cute! Miss Manners would be proud!
[/QUOTE]
I have nothing to add except to say that I wholeheartedly agree.
Actually, I do have something to add. I think this whole issue is part of the very reason I do have a problem with “ladylike/gentlemanly.” It’s funny that in the very thread where many people argue that those terms have more to do with politeness than gender, there are very clear counterexamples in the next posts.
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes]
Expectations, biases and pressures are not “restrictions”.
re·strict Audio Help /rɪˈstrɪkt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-strikt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object)
to confine or keep within limits, as of space, action, choice, intensity, or quantity.
[/QUOTE]
Hmm. On the one hand, I see where you’re coming from, but I think I disagree. Social pressures are restrictions. In the example I provided, the professor is made to feel unwelcome because she is raising a kid on her own and that takes time away from her professional life. This does not restrict her from being a professor, since she was after all hired in the first place, but it does restrict her from entering the social comaraderie that comes with being a professor. The only friend she has in the department is the other female professor. The fact that she is not part of the larger social circle will indeed restrict her in the future because she doesn’t have tenure yet. I don’t know how the social atmosphere in the department will affect her tenure application, but I could see it being an issue. At any rate, it’s something she has to worry about.