I would like to offer a hearty fuck-you to all you cool people.
Oh, you know who I’m talking about. People like Fenris and Scylla, who can post about the most mundane subjects and have us all rolling in the aisles. People like jarbaby, who is constantly getting more famous for her beautiful fabrications of insults.
People who have wit.
Yes, I admit it. I am witless. I can’t make a funny one-liner to save my life.
All you who feel overlooked because of their unfair advantages, join me in telling them that… uh… they suck… and… uh… to fuck off.
Admit it – you deliberately posted in IMHO just to get the mods to agree with your OP, about not being cool.
Just to be contrary, I contend that the mods should probe beneath the gruff surface exterior to the soft fuzzy interior of this post. This isn’t Pit material. For every fuck you, there are two veiled compliments. And not nearly enough hyphenated vulgarities (e.g. scrotum-sucker).
But, but andy… I couldn’t insult you, not even in jest
And Giraffe, I stayed away from hyphenated vulgarities for the exact same reason I posted this. I can’t think of any cool ones. Like, um, say… camel-fucker or shit-scraper. See? I’m just pathetic!
But I do sincerely want to apologize for posting this in the wrong forum (and I better do it quick, I don’t know if sincere apologies are accepted in the Pit)
::croggles, wide-eyed, at the usually mild-mannered LaurAnge::
Now I’m making huge intuitive leaps here but I’m guessing this is a tongue-in-cheek poll about witty, funny posters. And we have some 18-carat gold-plated hilarious pissants on wheels, sure enough.
A literal reading would put this in The Pit, but heckers, since it’s more complimentary in tone than not I’m leavin’ it here for the moment.
LaurAnge, you just need to mix and match. For example, borrowing from your last post, you could have made camel-scraper or shit-fucker. Both random enough to be good.
AARRRUGH!! That was the absolutely worst cross-post “clooster-fook”* yet.
You got it. Movin’ it!
TVeblen,
for IMHO
(* cherished trash-talk parody from work; menacing Arnie Schwarzenegger trying to growl out “cluster-fuck”. Ahem! Meant to do that, no problems here, move along now…)
I’m much more beloved, much cuter and far better in all respects than Scylla. Plus my strength is that of ten men because my heart is as pure as the wind-driven snow.
Hell, I got more wit than fenris or scylla. It’s just that I only use half of it when posting so as not to be unfair and intimidating-like.
Yeah, that’s the ticket.
[sub]Oh all right. Fuck of cool people. You suck.[/sub]
But Laur honey, you’re getting it wrong. It’s not so much about funniness as elegance. If your posts are well thought out and make a good point briefly (as I think yours do) that makes them a joy to read.
The posts that irritate are ones where
[ul]people have not read the OP closely and reply to something that hasn’t been said
people have clearly not bothered to read back over what they’ve written and it doesnt make sense
people try too hard to impress others rather than express themselves[/ul] You’re okay kid, believe me (was that what you wanted to hear?)
Indeed, I recently spent an hour on what I thought was a truly hilarious post*, only to have it go over very poorly (except for a kind word from the kind Biggirl). So rest assured, funny doesnt cut it, elegance (brevity, relevance, original thought) does.
Redboss
i like those pizzas, you know, the ones that are like frozen, and you eat them, but first you put them in the oven oh but first first you put them on a pan, or like if you like them softer you microwave them first first first. i ate them really fast, cause they were good. i know how to make really good pizza. too bad you can’t have some, cause it won’t fit in the scanner to upload. on the download. over the internet.
Must’ve missed that post of yours first time, Redboss. I’ve rectified that now and must say that it was indeed very funny. I particularly liked the bit where you said
Brilliant! Bravo!
pan
[sub](Actually, I did find the post that I’m guessing that you are ACTUALLY referencing funny too. Just pulling yer leg)[/sub]
wan smile I wish i was cool. I wish i was in with the cool gang.
kicks dirt
But then, wouldn’t that be too much pressure? You’d have to keep being funny/interesting/clever all the time. I’d cave under the terrible, terrible pressure.
So… Scylla? Fenris? Jarbaby? Astroboy? Coldie? Euty? Assorted sundry other posters who i much admire? Go on, say something funny. Go on.
Tonight, I’ll be herding eels in my pajamas. How I’ll get the eels into my pajamas, I’ll never know.
I once heard a herd of eels. They were singing: What, you never heard of Eel-ectric Light Orchestra? or Eel-ectronic music? If you dare to doubt me, I’ll come down on you like a tuna bricks.
But speaking of bricks, let’s change the subject and talk about you. Exactly how much do you like me?
