Anything directed by Blake Edwards or Oliver Stone–I have never liked a single one of their films, and Stone in particular has been getting worse and worse with each passing decade.
I don’t know who Blake Edwards is but I’ll second that for Oliver Stone.
Also, most anything with Kevin Costner in or directing a movie pretty much guarentees that it will get a low score in my book. The exception being “The Untouchables” which was quite good (my theory is that the twin postive ions of De Niro and Connery overcame the negative ion of Costner).
Cruel Intentions. Had I taken four bucks and set them on fire, I would of gained more enjoyment from watching the pretty colors than I got from this film. At least it would of been over quicker. Wow, there was 93 minutes of my life that I deserve to get back. Ok, I wasn’t expecting the world from this flick, but good sweet heavens was it horrible. The dialouge was insipid, and I’ve seen better acting out of the kid playing a tree in the 2nd grade Christmas pagent. “It’s a modern retelling of Dangerous Liasons” Look, first off, Dangerous Liasons doesn’t need a modern retelling; it’s not like it was filmed in the 1700’s or something - that’s just the scenery you’re seeing there. And secondly, just rent Dangerous Liasons if you want to see it, don’t get this piece of tripe. Sheesh. I’m done ranting now.
“I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”
Worst movies:
1)Batman & Robin
2)Armageddon
3)Lost in Space
4)Anything with Paully Shore
5)Anything with Steven Segall
6)Scream and I Know What You Did…crap
7)Anything directed by Paul Verhoven
8)Any movie in which Brad Pitt attempts an accent
9)Any sci-fi that is obviously trying not to me like Star Wars/Trek and is still not original
10)Ishtar. I like it, but it still sucks.
Gasp! Including Robocop?
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
I’m reposting on this same topic.
Anyway, I must be a very picky movie watcher.
These are my rules for movies:
- No executions, public or otherwise
- No torture
- No bible times
- No Roman empires
- I prefer not to watch movies that are only about romance.
- A movie about teenagers has to be really well received before I watch it.
7.No violence for the sake of violence.
Otherwise I don’t want to waste two hours watching it.
Gail
“Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you, my friend–
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again…”
-Steely Dan
Showgirls–I rented it to see if it was as bad as everyone in the known universe had said, and was amazed at how jaw-droppingly worse it was.
Armageddon–How DO these things get financed?
The Family Jewels–OK, a blast from the past, Jerry Lewis in 1965 playing multiple roles. I saw it as the second film of a double feature (remember them?) two weekends in a row in high school, and nearly had to be taken out in restraints.
Any Police Academy.
Pretty Woman positively sucked. For this reason, I will not see Runaway Bride. Why would I want to see those two together again? Bleah!
I really liked Mars Attacks, though…the Martians on stage with Tom Jones was just too funny.
My wife rented out * Bridges of Madison County *. I was passed out asleep in my popcorn bowl not soon after the opening credits.
“…send lawyers, guns, and money…”
Warren ZevonYou are surely excluding some truly awful films with the last three, but the first four prohibit too much fascinating subject matter. You may miss some very good things.
Russell Flowers
http://www.accessky.net/users/flowershome/
I can’t recall ever walking out on a movie but the worst movies I ever saw in a theater would be:
Natural Born Killers-people just kept leaving. I should have followed them but I kept expecting it to get good.
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me-it’s the Laura Palmer Crying movie starring Laura Palmer!
The Thin Red Line-someone on here said that the best actor in the whole movie was the grass. That is hilariously true. I so wanted to like this movie. I don’t normally ask for my money back after seeing a movie (it’s a theater, not a library. If the movie sucks, hell, I chose to see it). Anyway, not only was the movie itself AWFUL but it was interrupted about three times by the film getting caught and melting. This did give the members of the audience time to talk about how bad the movies was though. I took the free passes they were handing out
The Big Lebowski-every man I know loves this movie. Apparently it just wasn’t made with me in mind because I didn’t think it was funny. The only thing I liked about it was Steve Buscemi and they killed him off.
In my own home, I had the unfortunate experience of seeing Fargo (what a waste of Steve Buscemi), Tie Me Up Tie Me Down, Crash…I’m sure there’s more but these were all movies that I expected to be good.
This is going to ruin my therapy, but does anyone out there remember " The Black Hole" It was Disney’s attempt at a sci/fi in the late 70’s/early 80’s and I was maybe 11 or 12 and my sci/fi-aholic brothers took me to see it. After 20 minutes I was begging for the car keys to take myself home.My bullshit filter was apparent even at such a young age.
The only other movie I ever went to with any of my siblings was…" Electric Horseman."
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I’m really shocked at what some of you consider really terrible, or the movie you hated most. I can see anyone not caring much for just about anything, tastes differ, but to declare some of these movies as absolute bottom of the barrel seems to be really overstating it.
Case in point: “Pretty Woman”. You REALLY think this is a worse film than, say, “Sphere”? “Porkys”? “Rhinestone Cowboy”? “Anaconda”? “Friday the 13th Parts 1-100”?
“September”? “Look Who’s Talking Now”? “Staying Alive”? “Showgirls”?
I mean, gosh, people, get your priorities in order. At least PM was professionally done, easy on the eyes, and pleasant.
And ChiefScott: I don’t know who you hang out with, but I would be ashamd to say that about Albert Brooks. He is brilliant. You may not like him, but he is truly brilliant and original.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Least favorite kind of movies:
The good-ol’boy-in-18-wheeler-smash-cop-car
movies.
I’ve heard of two of these: Smokey and the Bandit and Breaker, Breaker. If these movies are anything like their TV ads you couldn’t get me to go watcgh them at guinpoint. I don’t see that a beer-guzzling trucker ramming police cars is any kind of entertainment, let alone a laughinig matter. Too bad, Burt and Sally.
Bitter Moon, by Roman Polanski. Every erotic cliché done cheesier than the last. Starring Hugh Grant; who the hell hires Hugh Grant for an erotic movie?
Came so close to walking out of that movie with Demi Moore and Robert Redford – she’s married to Woody Harrelson (struggling architect?) and Redford pays them some astronomical sum so he can sleep with Demi.
Stoopid stoopid stoopid
Have totally blocked out the name of this POS.
(Loved Fargo)
bernard: now YOU I would go to the movies with. I have never figured out why people like Kevin Costner, and I loathed Fargo, which all my friends thought was hilarious. (yeah, dead bodies in a wood chipper, my idea of a big yuk!)
My list also includes:
Seven–I had to leave
Any of the Home Alone series–and we wonder why the next generation is so violent
Two movies stand out in my mind – one from the 70’s and one from the 80’s so you know they must have been stinkers.
The first, Winter Kills. A thinly disguised rehashing of the Kennedy assassination and associated theories behind it. Utterly awful. Pointless, disjointed …words failed me then and they fail me now.
The second, a Dudley Moore movie called Mickey and Maude (he ends up married to two different women). A movie so cringingly painful that I told the friends I was with that I’d rather be at work than in the movie theater (and at the time, we were programming this horribly clunky, abstruse code for a futile project).
Aw man…Porky’s is the funniest.
I DARE anyone not to laugh at the coaches sitting as Ballbricker tries to convince the dean to identify a guilty Johnson.
I dug Virtuosity simply on the Russel Crowe. I consider him one of the finest actors of our time. SID 6.7 was one of the more memorable bad guys. Other than that they could have had a nobody as the hero.
Ok…now that I smashed a few I hate…time fo my I hates.
Hated.
The Astronaut’s Wife- GOD DAMN that was swill. First movie I ever walked out of ever. NOBODY go see it, Nobody rent it. Rent Rosemary’s baby its the same!
Freejack- Sorry but nothing could save this flick. How they thought Mick Jagger was a good bad guy is beyond me. Mick, stick with the Stones for God’s sakes!
Thats it. I can take a good bad movie, even BeastMaster. I thrive one shlock but only so much
Worst movie I’ve ever seen in the theater would have to be “The Net”. Within the first three minutes my eyes had become permanently rolled upwards from the sheer inanity of what passed for dialog, not to mention the desire to slap Sandra Bullock silly just for her snivelling. Movies like that need warning labels.
Someday we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject…