Sentenced to death by overzealous mattress tag enforcer when ripping off tag while trying to pull it out.
Reference to Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry
Good grief! I was about to say that. Did you just come from the corny jokes thread or did you remember that from the 60’s?
(I did both.)
True Blue Jack
Guess I’ll have to stick to my first thought. The famous Elephant Philosopher was pondering things when an eagle spotted his bald head. Mistaking the bald head for a turtle shell it dropped a large rock on it.
Or do eagles drop turtles on large smooth rocks?
True Blue Jack
I dreamt that a mountain was climbing me !
But only possible if you remove the tag fromthe mattress.
And then the Mattress Cops come for you…
Hang gliding
Being mistakenly shot to death during duck season.
Being mistakenly speared to death during barracuda season.
Being mistakenly punted to death during football season.
Hanging ten in the tube, and drowned in the undertow
Lighting his own farts
Speedboat accident
Ecstasy overdose
Ninja attack
Pistol whipping
High energy particle beam weapon
Daisy Cutter bomb
Toaster in the bathtub
Being run over by the Mars rover.
StG
Running with scissors
Right back at ya.
Went swimming 59 1/2 minutes after eating.
Shoots his eye out with his Red Ryder BB gun, which leads to a fatal brain infection.
The #1 least likely cause of death for an Elephant:
Being stepped on, and squished.
Other candidates…
Technical brain death during full-cyborging procedure.
Meteor strike.
Jabberwocky-inflicted injuries.
Infected Oompa-Loompa bites.
Deliberately rammed by the Rainbow Warrior, off the coast of Madagascar.
Crushed by Pakistani humanitarian airdrop.
Drowning in own excriment.
Transforming into being of pure energy, ascending to higher plane of existance.
Woodpecker attack.
Shot in Capt. Spalding’s pajamas.
Getting bit by a rabid dolphin.
Attack by Canadian choo-choo train: Jumbo, RIP 15 September 1885: http://www.celebritymorgue.com/jumbo/
That’s just what we told the children.
Drowning in a 5-gallon bucket.
Overdose of caffiene.
Skin cancer from overusing the tanning booth.
Skateboarding off the roof and into the pool (and missing).
Getting trapped in a roach motel.
Cutting the blue wire instead of the red one.
Mob hit.
Mixing ammonia and bleach together while cleaning.