Breast cancer from using antipersperant with aluminum in it.
Flesh eating disease from Costa Rican bananas.
Explosion of a gel candle while trying to set the mood for Mrs. Jumbo.
Didn’t see his doctor when his Cialis caused an erection that lasted more than 4 hours.
Blown to bits in Burma by William Holden.
After the capsize of their yacht.
“Disappeared” during a Stalinist purge.
Bladder burst after drinking too much without going to the bathroom.
Saying “Rosebud”.
During a match of billards.
Shot by security after attempting to steal the Crown Jewels.
Shot down over Germany during a dogfight in WWII.
Failed to pass on that chain letter within 72 hours.
Did not keep his hands and feet inside the ride at all times.
[MST3K] A rogue coolie snaps a tether and kills an elephant! [/MST3K]
Nibbled to death by ducks.
Botched Borg Assimulation
Drowned to death in Florida during hurricane season.
Shot to death by irate shopper after trying to sneak in express lane with more than 10 items.
A drive-by fruiting.
A fall from the uneven parallel bars during Olympic competition.
The parachute that didn’t open.
Shooting himself in the head with a gun loaded with blanks.
A blow to the head while demonstrating how to use nunchucks (sp?).
As an innocent bystander at a Mob hit.
Political assassination.
Happened to be on Alderaan on the wrong day.
Killed when the Earth is demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass.
Plane crashes in the Andes, and gets eaten by the survivors.
An accident involving a time machine, a rubber band, and a contraceptive.
Eating rancid peanut butter
Choking on a fluffernutter sandwich
Shot while trespassing in a peanut field
The tree he was hiding in while painting his toenails red is chopped down by illegal loggers
Impersonating a mouse on vacation
Does something to really piss off PETA.
Shot to death by anti-abortion fanatic while getting health services at Planned Parenthood.
Lost in the luggage transfer system at Denver airport.
Sent to Murmansk in January when the rest of the party was going to Kenya.
Overtaken by a wall of molasses.
Couldn’t get out of the back seat of the Mini.
Allergic to hyenas.
Liked peanuts. I mean, he liked them a lot, he was eating them all the time and not even taking the shells off and one day he just choked, it was horrible…
Hit a moose on the Trans-Canada Highway.
Not Enough Sunscreen.
Couldn’t factor x[sup]2[/sup] + 2x + 1.
Mafia hit after leaving footprints in the wrong stick of butter.
Couldn’t get down from orbit.
Gets stuck in a phonebooth and starves to death while making a Subscriber Trunk Dialling call…
Peritonitis following the weekend-long fisting festival.
Mysterious fall down an elevator shaft.
Learned secret of life, then brain exploded.
Necktie caught in shredder.
Infection caused by third-degree burns suffered while stomping out flaming ducks.
Mistaken for a fox by the East Devon hunt…
Pounded to death by the Chuckles the Clown Appreciation Society.
In the battle of the Pelennor Fields
Accidentally stumbles into the 4th dimension.
Hacked to death with a kitchen knife
Cipher pulls his plug.
Sphagettified after passing the event horizon.
Killed while trying to escape.
Embarrassment
Bumped into Thomas Edison when he was in a really bad mood