[answering phone during sex]
Oh, nothing…what are you doing?
[\answering phone during sex]
May I use your vagina for a while?
“Could you pop this?”
“Are you done yet?”
Dude! That’s wicked flattering! I’d love a man to say that to me!
Okay, least romantic thing–there was this couple on the bus, sitting in front of me. The girl was all over the boy, who was kinda out of it. Then she purred to him, “Baby. what are you think about right now?” And he says, "This episode of Nash Bridges. . . "
But I hate it when chicks pull that “What are you thinking about (me)?” shit, so I thought it was fantastic.
Hello, My name is Jack Dean Tyler.
On that note, how about:
I’m leaving you…for my brother!
Which leads to the response:
Ummmm, I can’t tell.
“I just farted”
“I’d like to make it with you” is the line, by Bread (or David Gates solo). That is actually tasteful, but sappy.
I am fond of “I wanna poke”. I first heard it in “Lonesome Dove”. Simple, direct, but most girls seem to not like it. My female buddies are used to it and they use it jokingly referring to me.
“Could you move your head, please. I can’t see the TV”
“It ain’t no fun if the hommies can’t have none.” Least romantic song, ever.
You’re a female and you’re breathing. Wanna fuck?
Geez, my sack’s itching!
Yeah, you’ll do.
(Whispered in bed)Ever hear of a Dutch Oven?
Heeey nice lady…I’m ready to do the comming and the jizzing and the yelling nooooowwwww…
Got change for a hundred?
Sure, honey. As soon as I’m done posting on the SDMB…
“Let’s just be friends.”
“Honey, could you help me scrape this smegma off of my penis?”
What for? You got plenty of tits.
::fulfilling fantasies since 1995::
Needless to say, double points if used during oral sex.
Kittie: I think that last one was a friend of mine. Here’s his idea of a pick-up line, which I had the dubious pleasure of hearing him actually use: “I’m not usually into white chicks, but you got a butt like a black woman.”
think of that pus as Nature’s Lubricant.
awww. . . Thank you
(Heard by a foreign-exchange student back in the '80s)
“Hit me with your best shot, baby-yes?”
“I want to start going back to church, and I want you to support me. (And basically I think the only way you can support me is if you believe exactly the same as I do.)”
I knew that relationship was going down (not in the good sense), but at that point it was going down in flames.
" Oh my god, what is that smell? Is that you?"