Same with if you knock a cactus over, don’t try to catch it :smack:
Do not turn mind off before turning skill saw off.
When preparing to put up a sign using strong sticky tape, don’t lay it down on top of an item with a delicate finish.
Double check to make sure you really turned the water off before removing the faucet handle. Especially critical when working on the hot water side.
Never leave Pop Tarts unattended in the toaster. If one gets stuck just enough to keep the heating element on, a flamethrower will result. Corollary, never burn your wife’s wooden kitchen hutch with a Pop Tart flamethrower. Corollary II, when trying to limit the damage to the wooden kitchen hutch, the linoleum floor is not a good place to set the Pop Tart flamethrower. Corollary III, a Pot Tart flamethrower stinks up the house for a long time.
This.
I should be debt-free…in 4 more years.
Do NOT cross the beams. 
Actually, crossing the beams is fine. It was a perfectly workable solution to the problem at hand, and the results were excellent. Also, there are no documented examples of crossing the beams having any kind of disastrous result.
I think it just goes to show how easily an audience is fooled by fake dramatic tension. Here’s a first draft:
“We’re in a terrible situation! What are our options?”
“We can cross the beams!”
“What happens then?”
“It’ll solve the problem.”
“Fine. Let’s do that.”
Problem is then solved, with no negative consequences.
But that’s not dramatic. Turns out that this works better:
“We’re in a terrible situation! What are our options?”
“We can cross the beams!”
“But you said NEVER CROSS THE BEAMS! It’ll destroy the world, or something!”
“Let’s do it anyway.”
“Fine.”
Problem is then solved, with no negative consequences. So, yeah. Go ahead and cross those beams, dude.
Or, wait. I might be thinking of streams. If it’s beams as in a carpenter thing, YMMV.
I meant Ghostbusters.
I just checked. Ghostbusters - Don't Cross The Streams - YouTube You’re right; I should have said “Don’t cross the streams.” Oops.
I guess that means we also shouldn’t cross the nouns. 
I only (half-)remembered beams vs streams because I made a bad joke in another thread a while ago. There was a guy who drowned while crossing a stream. Which, duh, he should have known better than to try. Because don’t cross the streams!
Do not use a wet cloth as a potholder.
Do not get married to someone just because you fall head over heels in love with them, and ignore the fact you are two vastly different types of people.
Don’t put your goldfish into a cup on the counter to clean out his tank, when the cat is in the house :smack:
I learned the hard way that if you cut off the blood flow from the aorta, spinal cord injury is one possible result.
“Are you a GOD?”
If you can’t clearly tell from a woman’s online dating profile photos that she’s not fat… she’s fat.
Do not try to take said mixture, otherwise known as napalm, past security.
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OMG, 1000 times this. If she is thin, she will make that very clear. If it’s at a weird angle, like above her head, she’s a fat one. If it’s too fuzzy to see details, she’s a fat one. If she is wearing bigger, baggier clothes, she’s a fat one. A genuinely not-fat girl will take steps to leave no doubt. Bigger girls obfuscate. Online dating is cutthroat.
When I was a teen we discovered that you could dissolve Styrofoam in stuff, and make a sticky mixture that burned real good. AFAIR no one burned themselves with it. Well, not beyond the insignificant little burns that kids playing with fire inflict on themselves from time to time.
I was somewhat, well, bemused to discover later we had been playing with napalm.