Regret is one of the most soul-destroying of emotions.
The borrower is slave to the lender.
Improving the content is far more effective than improving the image and leaving the content alone.
Exercise makes you feel better afterwards. If you do enough of it, you start feeling better during as well.
Never dance in hiking boots.
Don’t pour fat down the sink.
Yeah – that reminds me – if you’re making candles in the kitchen, don’t pour the leftover hot wax down the sink. 
:smack:
If, the last dozen times you decided to have just one drink and each time you ended up on a two-week bender culminating in arrest warrants, serious credit card debt, and liver failure, it’s probably not a good idea to see if, on the 13th try, you can really have just one drink.
“Once a cheater, always a cheater,” is not true. I cheated on the woman I used to live with; I will die before I cheat on my wife.
98% of the time, it’s true that a cheater will cheat again, especially if they didn’t fix what was wrong with them that made them think cheating was okay or justifiable.
One thing I learned the hard way: bunnies are terrified of cats and will latch on to any flesh they find and chatter-bite on it until you pull them away.
Fast. Cheap. Right.
Pick two.
Stuff I learned as a child:
-Peanut butter does NOT melt in hot chocolate.
-Never take a cat into the bathtub with you.
-Electric fences are not fun. Make one of your cousins “test it” first.
Genius.
Your inner voice is your friend. You don’t have to always follow it, but you need to listen to it when it’s talking to you.
If you’re not naturally good at something, it might be a character builder to study it, but don’t major in it, and for chrissakes don’t try to make a living at it.
When you have to literally scream to make yourself heard at the family dinner table, something’s wrong, and it’s not you.
When your girlfriend is lying next to you and talking about her last relationship, fucking listen!
If you get pulled over by the police, do not take your seatbelt off before he gets to the car. Even to get your driver’s license out. You’ll get a ‘failure to wear seatbelt’ ticket citation to go along with your speeding ticket.
I should add- the seatbelt fine is $103. :smack:
Your pet rat may look like a larger version of you pet mouse but that does not mean they will get along together. Do not put one in the cage of the other. It will not end well.
Junk yard wars is a tv show dont try it at home eaven to make home made arches for christmass.
Just because the bolt is nearly inaccessible and you scraped your hand while it took five minutes to get the nut threaded in the first place, don’t think that you have to grab the wrench with both hands and yank it that last quarter-turn just to make sure it’s tight.
Never eat at a restaurant that has a “Cook Wanted” sign out front.
The corollary: If you think he’s cheating on you, he more than likely is cheating on you. And it’s probably been going on longer than you think.
Always check the expiration dates on dairy products before purchasing them.
Show your appreciation for your loved ones. Always let them know you care.
Occasionally take time for yourself.
Dwelling on the past is pointless.
Other people can hurt you only as much as you allow.
If you’re allergic to Pennicillin, the liquid antibiotic they give you for pneumonia has a minted, kind of “malty” flavor. Easy to get a taste for it.
Lidocaine really works. Even on near-severings that sliced clear through a bone.
A modern, well-funded and equipped psychiatric hospital can be a perfectly safe, nice, even pleasant place to spend a few days. Boring as hell, though.
If it’s only left playing at one theater in the county just a couple of weeks after it’s release, it’s probably best just to wait for the movie to come out on video.
People don’t like to read the user manual. Or the “ReadMe This Won’t Work” file. Or to spend a few minutes just poking around the game to see if they can figure out what menu does what.
No airplane is impressed by the ratings in your pocket.
Safety gear is not an indication to increase the risk.
People may be intimidated by an empty gun, a mad bear, not so much.
Want to know the smallest contours of the land, ride a bicycle.
If the group is larger than two, socialism does not work.
Always use a proper ladder when working over uncapped corrugated iron fences.
Never assume that the roasting pan must have cooled down by now.
If your new partner says ‘I’m not good enough for you’, they will prove it eventually.
Your family don’t have to be your friends, they don’t even have to pretend.
If you make a mistake the best way to get past it is to say you’re sorry but you have to mean it.
Good communication skills are essential.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you will fail. Learn from it and move on.