I went to the in-plant Safety Office to buy some steel-toed boots. They didn’t have the model I wanted in 13EE. I was about to leave when Safe-T Grrl said, “Wait a minute. I have some supervisor boots in your size. They’re similar to what you wanted.”
“What’s the difference?”
“The supervisor boots have instructions written on the heel.”*
*(refers to “too stupid to pour piss out of a boot with instructions written on the heel.”
Hey now, California has their Aggies too (UC Davis Aggies!). But around here, we don’t much like Sac (Suck) state. So…
The Sac State professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student’s immediate family.
A smart ass student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. ‘But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?’ As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter.
When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look. ‘Well,’ he responded, ‘I guess you’ll just have to learn to write with your other hand.’
I so do not get this joke…
mm
And if you want to hear lots of good Aggie jokes, just call 1-800-AGGIE-IQ!
Have you read Helen Keller’s best-selling novel?
It’s called Around The Block In 80 Days.
There was a man who, on his 90th birthday, decided to visit the local whorehouse to celebrate. He walked in and told the madam, “I want one of your youngest and prettiest girls for the whole night!” The madam, who didn’t want to hurt the old guy’s feelings, sought out a sweet young thing and told her, “This fellow will probably fall asleep before he accpomplishes too much, but treat him nice and don’t upset him. Make him happy and I’ll pay you a bonus.” The girl agreed, and the two of them headed for a room. As she lay on the bed and the old guy approached her, he halted and went to retrieve his pants. He reached into the pocket, saying, “I wouldn’t want to start without protection!” But to her surprise, instead of a condom, the man took out a clothespin and a pair of earplugs. Puzzled, she asked, “Why in the world do you need those?” He replied, “Well, Little Missy, if there’s two things I hate, it’s the smell of hair burning, and the sound of a woman screaming!”