There’s a commercial here in New Zealand that really pisses me off: a young couple are sitting in a movie theatre, and she’s drooling and slavering and fellating a chocolate bar. He leans in for a bite, and she reaches over, grabs his nipple and twists it - hard. Oh, hilarious: hurt your boyfriend rather than share your food. I’m just trying to imagine a commercial with the situation played in reverse, where she goes to snaffle a chip and he smacks her, but I can’t even begin to picture it.
You know what’s really funny? Getting beaned on the back of the head by a soup can because you dared to disagree with her. The punchline? “I didn’t mean to hit you so hard.” I tell you, my ex-wife was a regular laugh riot.
Obviously this is not as serious as domestic violence, but…
I don’t want to hear men bitching about clothes. I don’t doubt that wearing long sleeves and a tie in the middle of summer sucks, but try wearing panty hose and heels every day. VERY FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE. If I could get away with having 2 pairs of work shoes and 1 pair of dress shoes (which he wears once a year) like my husband, that would be very cool… but it’s not like that.
Also, try wearing a completely different outfit every day to work for a month without repeating, because if you wear the same clothes, people talk. I also had a female boss tell me that I needed to wear more tailored clothes, that my comfortable sweaters and long skirts weren’t dressy enough. There was also a lot of pressure at that job to have a manicure and a done-up hairstyle. If I could wear a button down shirt, slacks, a tie, and plain shoes in various combos every day, worrying only about color matching, that would be awesome. Nope, women can’t get away with that in a formal workplace.
Also, men’s underwear seems so simple and comfortable. Dudes, ever worn a thong? I know some women say they’re comfortable, but they’re not, to me. I want normal underwear, that fits, not tiny assfloss, and not granny panties, made of cotton, not weird polyester material that causes all kinds of nastiness. And bras? Suck. They’re necessary, but they can be quite misery-inducing if you have to wear one for 10 hours.
Men just have no idea (for the most part) about how much the whole undergarments/shoes things sucks for women. It’s not a life-threatening issue or anything, but I do envy men the simplicity of their wardrobe. It would make getting out of the house in the morning much easier.
A female friend of mine was car shopping a while ago and she often took me with her to act as a “jackass car salesman” detector. Whenever we walked into the dealership she would start talking to the salesman as soon as he approached, making it clear that she was the one looking for a car, while I stayed silent. If the salesman directed the answers to her questions at me, or started asking me questions about what I wanted, we would walk out.
Ludovic, I have a leather bag with several zippered compartments and a shoulder strap which I carry around to hold my book and assorted other items that are too bulky for my pockets. I suppose it could be mistaken for a purse, but I don’t care.
But again, none of these things are written in workplace rules anywhere. As long as women look halfway presentable, they’re golden. So what if people talk? I’d talk too, I’d tell them if they don’t like it, change the rules, otherwise I’d tell them to fuck off.
I’m sorry, it just chaps my hide to be told by my manager that I’m required to wear a button-up shirt everyday while she’s wearing a solid colored t-shirt. In what universe is her solid colored t-shirt “professional” while mine makes me look like a kid?
I think you might be underestimating the pressure that women feel to dress a certain way - for and by other women. We don’t dress for men. I’m very much not the normal girly-girl, and I still feel that pressure.
They’re not? Workplaces you’ve been in don’t have dress codes? I’ve certainly worked in ones that did, and you would get shit for not adhering to it. The men wear the guy uniform and women have to wear hose, heels, and outfits. I’d rather wear the guy uniform, but it’s simply not an option. Where I work now, thank god, we all wear whatever we want, within reason, but in other places? There was no option to tell your boss to fuck off. If you did, you’d be outta work.
And it chaps my hide, literally, to wear heels, an underwire bra, and panty hose (with the “tailored” outfit on top) for 8+ hours. Wanna trade? Seriously. You want more variety in your wardrobe. I don’t want fallen arches, big red welts on my shoulders, and yeast infections. I’d love to give up all my wondrous choices in clothing to have a simple, straightforward expectation. Also, not all bosses wear t-shirts and preach about dress codes. You’re universalizing your situation, a bit. The norm is, women wear uncomfortable clothes in a formal workplace, some of which actually hurt.
Oh ? Consider I Love You to Death, a “comedy” based on a real story about a wife’s repeated attempts to murder her husband. And I’ve seen any number of “funny” scenes where a woman dumps hot coffee in a man’s lap, bounces objects off his head, kicks him in the crotch, or otherwise acts in ways that would get the show boycotted if it was the other way around.
The thing about these workplace dress rules is that they’re unwritten. I had a boss who nearly didn’t get a great job that she really wanted because one member of the committee hiring her told her straight out he didn’t think she dressed well enough to represent the company. He said he was only mentioning it because he liked her. (Big company, job close to the top.) She did get the job, and then she had to figure out what would make her look presentable in that job. The rules are easier for men–look at your boss. But what if you’re a woman and your boss is a man? You have no idea. And this particular woman didn’t have much female fashion sense although she knew what her husband should wear.
Actually there are lots of inequities in clothes. A man could buy a tux in college and, assuming he didn’t gain too much weight, wear it for every single formal occasion for the rest of his life. Yet men can rent tuxes quite easily, even though they can always be the same. The rentals even come with the appropriate shoes if you need them.
Heaven help a woman who wears a formal dress to more than ONE occasion. No, you have to have a different $600 dress for every occasion. If you’re going to someplace where you have to dress up three nights in a row you need three different dresses. But yet, can you rent these dresses? Fuck no. Not to mention the accessories that go with them. Shoes and a bag. It will be differen shoes and a different bag with every dress. Can you rent them? No. (Well, there’s a couple of places on the Internet now, but in the past women were out of luck in this respect.)
Women even get stuck buying clothes for the temporary condition of pregnancy, although in my circle there was a bag of fairly nice office-suitable outfits that got passed around. I got it, wore it, bought a few things and contributed them, and so it went. But why can’t you rent the whole thing? It’s just 9 months.
And there is this other basic inequity. In most offices I’ve been in, the men are too warm and the women are too cold (until menopause). Now let’s look at formal occasions. The men are wearing even more than usual; the women, much less. I have turned blue at formal dinners. I have often ended up ending the evening wearing my husband’s jacket over my $600 dress and it’s not a great look. Nor am I the only one wearing it. And ladies, heaven help you if you get stuck going to a formal occasion without a male escort. You have to hire a car to get crosstown in black-tie getup. A guy in black-tie could take public transportation, or he could walk, if you do that you will be hit on and people will say you asked for it. You don’t want to walk too far in those shoes anyway.
And women must have purses because they don’t have pockets. Even tennis clothes don’t have pockets. Oh yeah, that little slot in your shorts, I mean the ones that go underneath tennis dresses. Yeah, that’s helpful. So there you are with this…appendage. Which can be snatched, pilfered from under the table, you have to find a place to put it once you’re ensconced in a restaurant or bar or at a conference table…
Then you get the job. As a woman: If you start putting stuff in your office like pictures of your family there are men (and even other women) who perceive you as not so serious about the job, but nobody looks down on a guy who has a cuople of tasteful photos of his family. But if a woman doesn’t have pictures of her family, then she’s perceived as a cold unfeeling brass-plated barracuda.
Guys: You can have all sorts of cube toys, it’s cool, it’s part of the corporate culture. Gals: You can get sneered at for having a flower decal on the side of your computer. If you do some cube toys of your own, expect to be accused by somebody behind your back of “acting like a man.”
That song bugs the hell out of me. How long does she think it’s going to take before he figures out who vandalized his car and, oh, say calls the cops? Files charges?
I always think there should be a parody: ‘maybe next time she’ll think before she keys’
Because this is the 21st century! Women are sexually liberating themselves! They’re empowered. And we men are just pigs.
Forget the song. All of human history is an unbroken line of women sending their sons, husbands and lovers off to war to steal things for them.
The same thing happened to my wife and I a few years back. The salesman completely ignored my wife’s questions but would answer me when I repeated them. We didn’t stay very long.
Marc
Really? I thought that shit was huckleberry-hilarious. But maybe that’s because I realized it was a friggin’ cartoon.
My wife and I see this a lot. I’m a baby person and always have been. I like holding and playing with them and my wife has never had the chance. People always freakout when I’m the one to pick up the friend’s baby and play with him or her.
To be fair, I think all the dildo talk is pretty fucking stupid, too. Seriously, a plastic penis? How is that NOT just for losers?
Just about everything you said here is bullshit.
Do you honestly think a man’s clothing is never scrutinized unfavorably by his boss?
Have you seriously ever been ridiculed or scorned or not taken seriously for having a picture of your family on your desk?
Do you really think anyone actually gives a flying fuck if you wear the same formal dress to two different occasions?
I’ll give you the pregnancy clothes thing, but only grudgingly. Your tone sort of implies that it’s our fault for not ever having to buy a whole set of temporary clothes, which it’s not, but I imagine it definitely does suck.
Women’s clothing can have pockets, if you want them. To be honest, I’d rather be able to carry a bag (purse) around without getting funny looks, so that I get to sit on both asscheeks when I take a seat, instead of sitting unevently on a wallet. I’d like to have someplace to put my cell phone that isn’t tacky, where it won’t be easily damaged. I’d like to be able to carry a checkbook comfortably, and my medication, so I’d love to trade my pockets for something that’s actually convenient like a purse.
It would only be for losers if the idea was that the user couldn’t get herself a real, live penis. In fact, the thinking goes, she can get herself one in a heartbeat.
Guys have trouble getting it, but enjoy it when they do.
Gals have trouble enjoying it, but can get it whenever they want.
I don’t think females got the better deal, there. Oh, and “I could get a real live one right now if I wanted!” doesn’t make it any less lame to use one. That actually kind of makes it worse, doesn’t it?
OK, then here’s my question. Does the dress code actually say “you must wear heels and hose and uncomfortable outfits” or does it say “you must dress professionally”? Because for guys, that can only be interpreted one way and I think it sucks. But woman, as long as they’re not failing out of whatever they wear, have the option to wear nearly anything.
Look at the Sunday ads sometime and compare male “business casual” with female “business casual,” it’s ridiculous.
I’m sure I am and for that I’m sorry. But I could say the same thing about you. I don’t think women have to wear uncomfortable clothes in the workplace, they bring that on themselves. It is not my fault some women feel a “social pressure” to dress a certain way and I’m bitter that I’m being punished for it.