:dubious: I’ll laugh with the rest of you if this is me getting whooshed, but…
Where the fuck do you get off? Oh, that’s right, in your hand which is conveniently located and can be shaped in such a way that most men can readily masturbate. Yes, we girls and our clits share some degrees of the same situation, but self-penetration is a very different beast.
Come back and talk to me about dildos being only for losers when/if you discover that you can achieve amazing orgasms by stimulating your prostate via penetration.
Anecdote: I applied at a well-known temp agency, and they told me flat out that if I was prepared to wear hose and heels I could apply for the $15/hour jobs; otherwise I’d be in a lower pay bracket.
I have also had a male boss tell me I had to start wearing make-up to work. Fortunately, nobody took him seriously so I didn’t have to either.
And yes, absolutely, you can get looked at strangely if you are seen too often in the same outfit. I have regularly heard such comments. It just depends on how much it bothers you to have other women sneering at you like that.
When I was temping, my first position was at a bank that exclusively dealt with obscenely wealthy people. The minimums required in each account made sure that you couldn’t bank there if you weren’t at least a millionaire. I was mostly upstairs doing filing, sorting, and other very simple clerical tasks to keep me busy when I wasn’t needed to give the receptionist lunch and bathroom breaks. It was the most formal place I had worked in, and, though I wasn’t required to wear a suit because it was the lowest position in the bank, I was expected to dress as formally as I could with what I had. This meant nice pants, formal shirts, nice skirts, nice but practical shoes, and makeup. Thank Og it was part time and started at 10am, otherwise I may have had a problem trying to coordinate my outfits to meet their needs and not wear the same look twice during the week, and I was lucky that the majority of my clothes coordinated with each other.
Luckily enough, I’ve been able to dress in something closer to business casual for the rest of my jobs since then, as none of them paid well enough for me to dress in suits or more formal work wear.
Wait, I’m not supposed to wear a pantsuit to an interview? So, despite the fact that I look professional and well-dressed in my pantsuit, I may be making a bad impression because I’m wearing pants? WTF is that?
I think the only thing I have to complain about is how skewed sexual harrassment ‘policy’ is at the places I’ve worked. Anytime a woman says anything even hinting at sexual harrassment, everyone goes nuts and anyone she named gets stomped like a narc at a biker rally. If a guy mentions anything short of kidnapping he’s ignored or laughed at.
I’m exaggerating, but not that much. I’ve seen one guy fired outright for being involved in what was called sexual harrassment issues, when investigation produced nothing. The company didn’t want the woman complaining to anyone else and so just did what she said. I know another guy who was accused of sexual harrassment by a woman he worked with who was mad at him for some little reason, and it was suggested to him that he quit so there wouldn’t be any problems. When he didn’t, and no one backed the girl up, she pitched a fit and demanded he be fired, which didn’t happen. But HR and management made him miserable with their ‘suggestions’ and ‘hints’ and requiring him to take a series of sexual harrassment education courses.
Generally, the higher up you go on the food chain, the less options you get in what you wear, even if you are female.
In a work environment that requires formal dress, the typical ‘uniform’ is a dark suit for both sexes, with the woman wearing a skirt. Then there’s flesh-colored hose, and pumps. Flats, strappy sandals and even pumps with heels much more than 3 inches are out.
As a temp back in my college days, I got to see a whole lot of different working environments, and I think one of the most unfair for women is one in which everyone must wear formal work attire, but the ‘pink collar’ pay levels do not reflect it. One job I had was as the sub for the receptionist at a branch of a Fortune 500 firm. I had to look especially good, seeing as how I was the first person anyone walking into the lobby saw, but receptionist pay is shite, and receptionists are usually women.
I also remember the days when department stores required all their female floor staff to wear skirts and heels (written dress code), and everyone knows how crappy retail pay is. I did not envy those women on their feet all day.
No, you’re right - it really isn’t men’s fault, and we shouldn’t punish men for it (even if most clothing designers and bosses are men ). But don’t mistake us; the pressure to wear uncomfortable/damaging*/expensive clothes does exist, and it is strong, even if it isn’t always in writing or told to your face.
*Do you know what high heels DO to women’s feet, legs, and back? They should be covered under OSHA laws!
I’m not sure about ‘funny’, per se, but I was rather intrigued whilst listening to old (1950’s) radio episodes of dragnet, the number of times the police would hear ‘We argued, I hit her a few times’ and just keep talking like it meant nothing.
Then again, the more I listen to Dragnet, the more I’m convinced there were some pretty socially progressive writers who snuck subtle stuff in under the censors. But that’s a topic for a different thread.
Upon edit:
This gives me the smirks. One of my friends looks like, well, a dumb blonde, but she’s worked on cars for over 15 years, 5 of it professionally. She is the stuff of nightmares for mechanics like these. “Oh really? Really? Huh. Well, the way I see it…” She loves to string them along and then decapitate them.
[off-topic] When I compose replies, I occasionally type Ctrl-A and then Ctrl-C to copy what I’m writing to the clipboard, so that if anything happens to the post, I have it stored and can get it back easily.
Typing Ctrl-A and then Ctrl-C is very quick, doesn’t distract much from your writing, and saves you the hassle of losing your posts.
About a year ago, I stumbled upon the personals on craigslist, and found many posts by women seeking men saying stuff like " 6ft or taller only “, or “Below 6ft 2” need not apply” (and the women themselves were not tall)
I understand that women are attracted to tall men, but men are attracted to, say, breasts. But if any guy stated in his profile “C cups and above only” or “Below D cups need not apply”, he would be considered very shallow and immature.
Interestingly, I just went over to craigslist to find some examples of women having height requirements in their personals, but I can’t seem to find any (at least on the first page). Yet, there were so many a year or two ago. I wonder what caused the change?
ETA: OK, here’s one: " I am 5’10". You: … at least 6’1". "
No, I still think women have much more uncomfortable sartorial expectations in a formal workplace. Go to work with panty hose and heels for 8-10 hours and then complain to me about your tie. Yes, panty hose and heels ARE an expectation for a lot of workplaces, and no, you can’t wear a t-shirt with your knee-length skirt and get away with it.
catsix, I agree that I got much more fashion pressure from other women than I did from men, because I think men feel like they’re not supposed to look too closely at what a woman is wearing. Not that you wouldn’t be noticed for dressing inappropriately, just that a woman is more likely to be the person who talks to you about it.
But… the women at the job I mentioned were serious bitches with done up, blonde streaked helmet hair, manicures, and expensive outfits I know they didn’t afford on their school salaries. It was a totally bizarre environment and I fervently wished I could just wear what the men were wearing because then I could meet a concrete set of expectations, not have to figure out what the Queen Bee wanted from me.
Wow, Rubystreak, that sounds not just like office politics, but damned catty as well. Please tell me where you work so that I can fail to send a resume. And please try to keep the knives out of you back.
shudder
Where I work the rules are much more relaxed. Women can get away with almost anything here, as long as it’s reasonably professional. For men it’s the standard uniform.
There was the one time I passed Heather in the hallway, and said. “Wow! You look GREAT!” I didn’t think about it, it just slipped out. She’s great looking anyway, but she was wearing a very sexy red dress more suited to a formal night out than an office.
Wow, that really does sound far beyond how any rational person should act about a dress code. But I guess we’re just going to have to disagree because right now I’m looking at a co-worker in a t-shirt and a knee lengthed skirt and she’s suitably professional for everyone else.
You’re correct about the general environment. Of course such things would never be seen in the TV of the day. In the context of the show, however, if Ralph ever did hit her, she would clobber him, and then leave forever (which she did several times if I recall.)
Not that it doesn’t happen today. I was on a jury that convicted a guy of stomping on his wife. It took us one round of voting.
And indeed there are. I work in the computer business. When I was at Bell Labs I worked for a director who never wore formal dresses, or anything particularly fancy. She came to our site from Research, and I’m sure she made a lot of money - and nobody ever doubted her intelligence.
I worked for a VP in the company I’m at now who also was never dressed up. Neither of the CEOs we’ve had ever wore suits except under extreme provocation (like meeting with the President of a country.)
In 27 years of working in the technical field, I’ve never heard anyone be criticized for pictures of family or anything else.
Five years ago salesmen who’d call on us would wear suits, but even that has been relaxed. Ten years ago you’d wear a suit when delivering a paper at a conference, but most presenters do that anymore. The only time I wear mine is when I was at the plenary in front of a few thousand people. Otherwise, no.
Everyone, come out to Silicon Valley and breath free. You can buy up some of this extra real estate while you’re at it.
BTW, my wife is a freelance writer, who works at home, and so is immune from this nonsense.
Just to clarify, I don’t mean to say that woman-on-man violence is actually funny. I was trying to clarify why I believe woman-on-man violence is seen as being acceptable to laugh at: because the woman is seen as harmless. Obviously this is not always (or ever?) the case in real life.
I’ve never seen that movie, and I tend not to like dark comedies precisely because the topics they cover tend not to actually be funny to me. But the following scenes you describe (coffee on lap, hits to the head and crotch) are generally harmless. The man being dumped on or hit in a movie is not shown as being injured. On the other hand, if a man hits a woman in a movie, injury results and hence it’s not funny.
Again, to emphasize, I’m talking about movies here (i.e. society’s perception of things) not actual events such as the very real domestic abuse people have mentioned in this thread.
I think Chris Hansen and the rise of “stranger danger” have done more damage to the reputation of the male gender than decades of commercials mocking dumb men, comedy shows featuring “hilarious” groin kicks, and family court judges who decide custody cases.
A coupld of days ago, I was home from work waiting for an appliance repairman. I was watching CNN, and struck by how the coverage that afternoon was literally wall-to-wall Amber Alerts, fugitive child rapists, and child predators. It was literally as if former Lifetime Network executives were now manning the CNN newsroom.
So, despite the fact that I look professional and well-dressed in my pantsuit, I may be making a bad impression because I’m wearing pants? WTF is that?
). But don’t mistake us; the pressure to wear uncomfortable/damaging*/expensive clothes does exist, and it is strong, even if it isn’t always in writing or told to your face.