Let's hear your favorite puns..

Once upon a time, their lived in a magical land a snake, named Nate. In this land, actually rather close to Nate’s house there was a great road, and next to this road was a lever. The lever was ancient, and the mythology around the lever was that if you were to push it, it would trigger the end of the world. One day, Nate was slithering down the road, and he came upon the lever, and began crossing the road so he could look at it. At the same moment, a truck came careening around a corner, and the driver found himself in a dilemma: either hit the snake or end the world. Needless to say, the driver ran over Nate and went on his merry way.Moral of the Story: The moral of the story is: Better Nate than Lever

A fly was in a barn, eating some tasty horse manure. But he ate so much that when he was finished, he found he was too heavy to fly. He spotted a shovel nearby, which was leaning next to an open window. “Ah ha!” thought the fly. “If I climb up the handle of the shovel and try to fly off, I will be high enough so that the air currents can lift me!”

So the little fly climbed up the shovel, which was no easy task, being as full as he was. But eventually he made it to the top of the handle and attempted liftoff. He dropped like a stone and fell to his death.

The moral: Never fly off the handle when you know you’re full of sh*t.

What about that surreal artist that moved to Central America to sing country western music?

Surely you’ve heard of, El Salvador Dali Parton.

Then there was that book about the country western singer who got hooked on pills.

It was called; “Dolly of the Valiums.”

Did you hear about the guy who infiltrated the offices of a large cable sports network?

He committed ESPN-age! :smiley:

go to my home page http://www.geocities.com/rowrrbazzle/ and click on the link for “East is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet.”

Shelock Holmes and Doctor Watson were doing their usual investigative business one day, when the uncovered an amazing painting.
At first glance, it looked like a picture of normal oak tree, in the middle of a wilderness, but if you looked closer, you could see that it was a very surreal painting: The tree’s trunk was actually made of fire, and it’s branches were made of ice, clouds and earth.
“What is it?” asked Watson in awe.
“It’s an element tree, my dear Watson,” said Holmes.

[Tomcat sitting at the dinner table]
Puns? Puns? Sheesh! If I never hear another pun again, it’ll be too spoon! Why don’t you all just grow up and show some glass! As if your contem-plate-tion of new puns will do you any good. You think you can really bowl someone over with a witty puns? Or make any bread at it? Well butter drink again, cuz this is neither the place nor setting for sillyness like that! The table’s one goes through to keep from ripping out their chair…Just shut your mug and fork off and die! I’m wiping my hands of this…[/Tomcat sitting at the dinner table]

I know, I know, that wasn’t very knife…

-Tcat

Use a pun, go to jail.