Did you use pinking shears?
You heard anything from ol’ Bolso yet ?
It’s been over 3 weeks.
No.
(I was going to make this a one-word answer, but it turns out the Message Boat doesn’t allow this; you have to type a minmum amount of letters or you are rejected. Who decided this? Do you detect a slow, steady “drip drip drip” noise, that’s your Freedom going down the drain, drop by drop so you don’t notice like a sculptor chipping away at a block of marble - when the statue is finished it will bear a strong resemblance to Tyrrany!
Remember the Lesbian I told you about (no I’m not going to tell you which post; if you haven’t read the whole thread up to now I don’t know what you’re doing here), the other day she gave me a clock radio she got at a yard sale for two dollars, it didn’t work so she thought I might fix it - I’m handy with a screwdriver - well I took it apart but I couldn’t believe how complicated it was. It had several Ribbon Cables inside, these are nasty things that are supposed to connect circuit boards but God help you if you pull one out and try to reconnect it. They must be assembled by Oompa Loompas because a normal person’s fingers cannot maneuver in this tight space, so I gave up and told her “sorry, you’re out two bucks”, and my day is not even half over. But that’s how it is now, they don’t repair things now, just throw it on the scrap pile.
By the way, you must be English, I have nothing but respect for people from the British Isles but stop and think for a minute before you start calling the President of Brazil “Bolso”, everyone in America is tired of that - “oh Bolso and Jacko met up with Macca”; everyone gets a quaint nickname which must have seemed clever back in the Nineteenth Century but high time you came up with a new riff. Sorry, but I’m not in the best of moods. Tell you what, we in the USA will stop saying Awesome every thirty seconds if you over there will drop Brilliant from your dog-eared Thesaurus of No-Longer-Original Things to Say, can we count on that Bazzo?
But getting back on topic, I was letting my mail pile up but went through it yesterday and no reply so far. I keep hoping to find one of those tissue paper envelopes that tells you a Foreigner has sent you something. Oddly enough, I did get a letter from Joe Biden! Have not read it but dollars to donuts he just wants money. Well maybe I’ll turn the tables and hit him up for a Grant towards this Solid Core project; you can be pretty sure we won’t be hearing a peep out of Old Joe once he reads that! Because unfortunately you have to be well connected before the Democrat Gravy Boat will dock in your harbor. It’s okay, I have other ideas and one of the things I’d like to try is running a steel cable around the Equator or maybe if that’s not viable (that’s a lot of cable!) I can settle for one of the Tropics (Cancer or Capricorn) or even the Arctic Circle, can’t be too picky here. If our friend Senegold is reading this, do you recall if Tom Jr. ever tried something similar? I know, I have to finish the books, but I’m just happy to have an Expert on board!
Well my phone tells me I’m on low battery so that’s all for now. You all have been so nice, most of you, please continue to be patient; meanwhile I will be impatient, that’s my job!)
It wasn’t intended as a quaint nickname, i was trying to be disrespectful.
We dropped “Brilliant” ages ago. Everything is now “Amazing”.
Oh well, maybe COP26 will help …
I looked up your COP26. Is this some attempt to divert me? Cannot succeed. Though I’m sure these people are well-meaning in their agenda (climate) they are rearranging deck chairs on the Space Shuttle Challenger, they need to refocus on MY agenda; new o-rings won’t fix this!
I came back here after seeing another disturbing trend. Rather it should be disturbing to most people but attention span is limited, however I will mention it because I know there will be more bad news just over the horizon. You have to keep up the drumbeat.
The article I’m talking about starts like this: “RÉUNION, A FRENCH island in the western Indian Ocean, is like a marshmallow hovering above the business end of a blowtorch.” How’s that for a scare quote? It goes on to describe a volcano called “Piton de la fournaise” which sits atop a tree branch of Magma that pretty much singes the Tectonic plate that Africa sits on. I’m immediately thinking, this is where we start! Sorry Bolso, you had your chance and you blew it. Our millions now go to this French island, and they know how to stretch a dollar until George Washington cries Uncle Sam!
But wait, first you really need to see this:
[https://media.sketchfab.com/models/96ab81b3f6344fc7b2002c052585557d/thumbnails/3009b175b48c4fb0aea343580de057c5/bee867dfcc5b4944b1f8ff408b3605f0.jpeg]
Take it for a spin, this puts those “Cutaway Earths” from textbooks of our youth, just projects them all into Caveman Days. They should print this on the front page of the New York Times and every newspaper in the USA. That might give those COP26 kooks a shakeup. (Note, it is interactive, you can move it with your Curser. If it doesn’t work please don’t blame me, I always said the Internet is not ready for Prime Time; these problems have been dogging me for ages, because we have misplaced our faith in a faceless crew of tech geniuses who don’t know when to quit the endless tinkering, the concept of “good enough” being absolutely foreign to them, and just when we have learned all the “work-arounds” that have kept civilization humming since the early hominids discovered that skipping the Pupa stage afforded more leisure time - most of course just used that time to sleep more, but a few special specimens were able to invent the different Ages: Iron, Bronze etc. and that’s where the trouble started.)
Anyway, if nothing else this model demonstrates where the action is. I thought of plugging up this Volcano island simply to buy us more time, but really that’s the coward’s way out and might backfire because all that Magma has to go somewhere, and I’d hate to have to explain why for instance it popped up in Mexico (my calculation), they don’t want that and who can blame them? Robbing Pierre to pay Pablo is never a good idea. But Bad ideas are useful as a roadmap, so if anyone reading this has any of their own, please feel free to share; by their rejection a way forward can begin to take shape.
I have to go feed the neighbor’s cat now.
(Editing to add: When I tried to post this I got a message that says, You can’t embed media items. Now they tell us. Who knows what a media item really is these days. Just more wasted time, and I had a panicked moment when I thought the whole post was lost. This just reinforces what I’ve always said, but I shouldn’t whine because I chose to participate in this platform, nobody forced me.)
Well that didn’t work, I never like to re-do anything, I say you don’t get another bite at the apple but that link was a bust so here’s a second bite.
Since I’m here, there have been more blatant attempts by the “#2 is Scary” crowd to run us off (see Post 74). I have to admit this one is pretty bad:
I don’t know what got this woman so terrified. Please, show your hand, otherwise leave us alone!
I need to take a slight detour here as this whole “Sloopy Girl” controversy which is running rampant has raised certain questions in my mind that need to be sorted out.
As you know there has been (big surprise!) a lot of phony talk about the identity of the Real Sloopy Girl, passed around and copied by people who cannot be bothered to go to the source to get the truth. You could, for crying out loud, ask Rick Derringer! It’s not like he’s hard to get to; more likely since his Rock Star days are long over he is living in a mobile home now, and no I’m not being snide here, nothing wrong with it, a lot of people would be lucky to have any home at all, and I’ve seen some of those modern Trailers and they look quite cozy though personally I’d never live in one. I just mean he probably answers his own phone these days, and if you asked him who Sloopy Girl is, he’d be glad to tell you, “I don’t know, but it’s not my ex-wife!”. Just by making a small effort you would have busted a persistent rumor that should have been laid to rest long ago. Now of course lots of people prefer rumors to facts, but let’s not step in that Prairie Dog hole!
Now we are finding out that the real Sloopy Girl is named Lisa Leonard-Dalton. This fact (and it is a fact, there can no longer be any doubt) was dug up and publicized recently by an obssessed disc jockey named Steve Smith, who clearly has little patience for lies and those who spread them like peanut butter - hard to get unstuck once you are smeared! There is an amazing story of the brilliant detective work required to sift through the litter box and remove the clumps of misinformation contained therein, but I won’t link to it, sorry but if Steve had been satisfied to leave it at that I would have been the first to award him a “well done”. But it looks like his obssession has led him down a dark road.
Smith can be found on a site called “Puget Sound Media”, and a quick glance there will confirm he is a tireless self-promoter, which I guess goes with the territory, but if you’re in the business of busting myths you need to beware not to stir up a few of your own; apparently this guy can’t resist and now he is, in a none too subtle way, trying to suggest that Sloopy Girl was somehow involved in the attempted murder of Andy Warhol, which I think is just absurd, that didn’t happen! You might recall that Andy Warhol was shot by a completely different woman, author of the SCUZ Manifesto, who apparently had a bone to pick with Andy who wouldn’t put her in a movie - obviously deranged behavior; though I don’t doubt that Andy antagonized a few people in his day, how do you think Campbell’s Soup thought of his stealing their Tomato Can, probably not much until their accountant pointed out the uptick in a certain line (hint: not Bean with Bacon). Later, they made a movie called “I Shot Andy Warhol”, and it was abundantly clear that Sloopy Girl was nowhere near the incident - she wasn’t even in the movie; you’d think a conspirator would at least get a cameo.
But this Steve Smith character doesn’t even have the grit to back up the implication in so many words, instead it’s all there in a photograph snuck into a collage which shows a newspaper headline: “ACTRESS SHOOTS WARHOL” and by now it shouldn’t shock you that none of the women in the collage is Snoopy Girl, it’s just a lot of Rick Derringer ex-wives and other random women, as if anyone associated with someone named Derringer must forever be blamed for all celebrity violence. Sorry, Steve, but your over-active imagination has exposed you as quite the fool. And I would advise the real Sloopy (who lives in Knoxville and intends to parlay her newfound celebrity into an ongoing Web presence, which I heartily endorse) to steer clear of Mr. Over-the-hill DJ - his kind of publicity you don’t need! You’ve given yourself to the world, you don’t need to share the pie with some lowlife!
Has anyone else noticed this - there’s a category on the Board that was never there before, called “Factual Questions”. I don’t understand it, questions are not factual, they’re questions, that’s why you ask them, because you don’t know the facts!
Anyway, I took a dive in, and am starting to regret it. There’s a big fuss being made over five-sided dice, which every casino in the world would kick you out if you brought them to the table, very much not allowed. Next, huge arguments about “pure water” that would kill you if you drank it, something to do with “parts per million” but they never tell you: a million what? Come back when you figure that out!
Right! “Factual Questions”, more time wasted. I’ve heard there are people out there called “Randos”, a cult of some sort who try to keep you distracted. Then something caught my attention, buried deep in the pile, a big rowdydow called Isn’t the Earth Cooling?. I dropped my ice cream when I saw that! Which is ciearly the intent!
Skirting the content for a moment (but only a moment; we’ll get to that momentarily) the big conundrum is “Who”? and “Why”? The names are all unknown to me, which is sort of a relief; none have posted on this thread, not even the ones who insist on mocking us. But the Topic chosen (again, Isn’t the Earth Cooling?, an odd way of putting it, like one of those push polls that try to bend your thinking with tricky phrasing like “When President Trump tried to destroy America by walling us off from our friends the Mexicans did it bother you?”) was an obvious swipe from the topic we here are focused on, an attempt to steal our fire and more than that, throw us down a well of despondency by insisting we are powerless fleas riding the great Dog of Destiny.
What passes for give-and-take there is really not important, some say the Earth (Terra) is cooling (but at a rate so slow our great-grandchildren would never notice it), some say it isn’t but all agree we’ll be swallowed up by the Sun before we reach FSC (Full Solid Core, my proposed designation for the desired result). So what? Of course that’s what will happen if we do nothing!
Another point that someone tried to make has to do with how there is Nuclear Fission inside the mantle, going on right below our feet, releasing energy and thus counteracting the normal cooling process (and incidentally, acting upon the Teutonic plates like a giant Slip-N-Slide) which I guess is supposed to make us throw up our hands - but I say we should not throw up so easily!
My friends, we are so close, but unless we lock down some allies, preferably ones with deep pockets, our project is doomed to wither on the grapevine. I for one have no intention to “get off the pot” at this critical juncture. But I could use some suggestions, real ones this time, no jokes. Basically we need to recruit a Head of State who is looking to polish his image, who wouldn’t mind bankrupting his Economy just a little bit if it could distract the world’s attention from his unpopular corrupt and possibly belligerent policies. Please think about this, get back to me (please, no Randos) and I’ll get right on it; remember I already have a letter ready to go, just have to run it through Google Translate.
Thanks, and by the way, please ignore my last post, the one about Sloopy Girl, I’m over her and I suggest you do the same.
Are we still talking about making Earth the #1 planet?
If this war in Ukraine goes full international interplanetary nuclear World War III, we could very possibly make Mars the #1 planet.
Welcome back Senegal! I thought I was talking to myself for a while there. It’s good to see you back, I was going to ask you a question about Tom Swift Jr. (you’re our designated expert), but I found out something that frankly put me in a tailspin - turns out those books are all fiction. I hope I didn’t spoil your day; truth can be a bitter pill. Anyway, even if not true those tales are a great inspiration and if you don’t believe me, think of the things that we take for granite, after all what is the Space Station but Tom’s Flying Lab? (Too bad the Russians want to sabotage it, from what I hear, we never should have partnered with them but maybe Space Force can put a stop to it before they do too much damage).
Incidentally I have started a new advocacy group called the Birthright Heritage Free Liberty Foundation, so far I’m it, the only member but I will be publishing a spanking newsletter which I promise will be a real eye-glazer, so if you want to get in on the ground floor Now’s your chance, while fees are reasonable.
Boris Johnson is the person you are looking for.
I said “no jokes”. What does Boris Johnson bring to the table? It sure isn’t money!
Did you also just find out that those books weren’t really written by Victor Appleton, Sr., Jr., or otherwise? Did you know that The Federalist Papers weren’t really written by Publius?
Okay, I’m a dope, no need to rub it in. Come to think of it, you could have said something sooner and saved me some embarrassment, but I guess I shouldn’t carp, not all of us have the tools to express ourselves clearly and unambiguously. (I’m talking about you.)
But I still admire your grasp of Swift lore, there’s much to be said for possessing a broad-based storehouse of knowledge even of the most trivial sort; you never know when you might be called upon to tap that resource, like for instance in a bar, so kudos.
Actually, I only read the first four or five of the Swift Jr. books, and that was a good 55+ years ago at least. After that, the subsequent books became boring and formulaic, and basically silly. Once your read about half-a-dozen Tom Swift Jr. books, you’ve read them all, sez I.
ETA: Try the Asterix books. They have much more persistent power.
good luck with that
I really want this on a t-shirt.
Potential Big Break in this seemingly bogged-down enterprise!
I have been contacted by an anonymous “agent” who has promised to sell me the last existing Tom Swift Jr. Enterprises working prototype Atomic Earth Blaster! All I can say is Wow!
If you have forgotten, or more likely can’t be bothered to read this whole thread (annoying!), here is what we are looking at: an Atom-Powered Earth drill that can vaporize all obstacles; when pointed downward will drill until reaching Core, releasing all molten iron along with trapped gases, propelling them to the Surface of
the Planet. Once they’re up here, we can do what we like with them; I propose we dump all that Slag into the Sargento Sea, which is like the Atlantic Ocean’s junkyard, since it is bypassed by the Gulf Stream it never circulates, just a lot of dead seaweeds and rotting cheese, even ships don’t go there, the smell is so bad.
This “agent” prefers to remain anonymous, and I’ll be honest here, this might be stolen goods he is peddling so other than posting this on the Internet, I’d just as soon keep a low profile! That’s how the game is played, but the good news here is I think I can talk this guy down to two million - which in terms of fixing our World and Righting an Ancient Wrong is peanuts!
So please, let’s dig down and pool our resources; sadly I have been very disapointed so far in getting any financial comittments from Government sources, they all seem interested until you bring up the Price Tag, then they turn 360 degrees and zoom off like the Road Runner. (I’m still hopeful that Boris Johnson might yet give us a Knees Up, never lose faith!) I’m pretty sure some of you might have Ways and Means of raising capital, that doesn’t include you Eschereal who has only played us for cheap laughs, maybe if your Stand-Up career advances to the point where Funny Ha-Ha actually pays you, you might see fit to float us a few bucks for jump-starting your career (not holding my breath). Anyway, wherever the money comes from, I get 10% which isn’t bad considering what we are doing for our children and grandchildren.
Finally, there’s another movie I saw recently called Heart of the World, you will please watch it, it might wake you up to the danger!
180 would be more effective.
Also …can you be sure that the molten iron & gases won’t “jet out” and propel
the earth into a different orbit with unforeseen quinciconces ?
I guess what you are really saying is Drop this whole folly, am I close? You are trying to thwart me with your No True Strawman argument but it can’t happen, not when we are finally in sight of the tunnel!
Really, if you don’t want to pony up the $2 million, just say so, we won’t think less of you, but don’t expect your name to be on the Plaque, okay?