Lets start some NEW Urban myths...

MODS- Please feel free to move this to any thread you think it may actually belong in… thnx

We are awash in stale, hackneyed urban myths… Oh sure “and when they got home… there was a HOOK stuck in the door handle…” are pretty outdated, but still these things persist and seem to mutate to fit the “next” generations tastes and attitudes…

What we need are NEW Urban myths, myths worthy of the 21st century… So get out your thinking caps, and start cranking out some gems of “too good NOT to be true stuff you “heard” from a friend of a friend who swears his cousin’s teacher showed thema photograph…”

Here is an example_

Mall Santa - Sublimnal puppet of the major auto dealers!
Everyone has seen a mall santa, but few people actually know what they are REALLY doing! While your infants are waiting in line for a chance to talk with a nearly mythical, magical charactyer who also judges the, they are being secretly indoctrinated through sublimnal messages hidden in the recorded christmas music.
Think about it, they are emotionally fraught, feeling fear, excitement, impatience and experiencingexposure to a strange setting - this leaves them very open to being deeply imprinted by sublinal messages and other preconscious conditioning techniques.
Major auto manufacturers have known for years that the toys that young children play with are the prime motivators in developing the tastes and buying patterns that thos children “acquire” when they reach adult age.
For nearly the past decade, major auto manufactures have quietly positioned many sublinal elements into the “Santa’s Village” that pops up in your local mall every year!
Proof:
Most of the music is designed to be background level - not too loud - the ideal level however for sublibnal programming
A Major, secret study of children showed that many thought that Santas Reindeer were named Comet, Honda, toyota, Datsun, Chevy and Blitzen, and of course Rudolf…


OK… its late at night, I am in a wierd mood, and I just rattled that one off… surely - you can make up a better NEW Urban myth…

On your marks, get set -
go!

MSG (monosodium glutamate) is actually a derivative of cocaine, which is why it’s so addictive.

Ever since the public outcry against fluoridation of the water supply, the government now uses High Fructose Corn Syrup to dose and sheepify the populace. That’s why it’s in everything nowadays.

Mubarak is stepping down.

In the past many “draft dodgers” went to Amish communities to hide. Not only do the Amish have conscientious objector status, but also they are so against any kind of aggression they would willingly harbor draft dodgers. Also, some Amish communities are outside of state and federal laws in certain legal matters since they don’t vote, pay social security, or taxes.

It’s true. I read it on-line.
:smiley:

If you get sunburned and your skin peels, don’t leave the peelings lying around. Your dogs and cats will eat them, developing a taste for human flesh.

Then, one quiet night while you’re sleeping…

IMPORTANT SAFETY ALERT!

There is a deep international underground movement of fanatics who discreetly follow people who talk or are otherwise disruptive during movies home and make them known to the others. The victims are then quietly dispatched by the other cult members.

Evidence suggests that these people are responsible for as many as ten percent of unsolved murders - that’s over 700 per year! In spite of this, law enforcement agencies are unwilling to treat these deaths as serial crimes, and because media outlets are intimately connected with the entertainment industry, there’s a total blackout on reporting; parent companies have concerns about what would happen to box office numbers if people became afraid to see movies in the theatre.

Sit quietly during movies, and turn off your phone and put it away. It could save your life!

Forward this message to everyone you know!

Larry Mudd: I was under the impression that those cultists favored blockbuster films. For some unknown reason, they consider anything by Adam Sandler a “blockbuster”, even though my local paper gave Sandler’s movie opening today a mere one star.

There is a gang that drives Infiniti G35 coupes, usually in gold/sand color. When going through a toll, make sure you pay the fee for the Infiniti behind you, or the gang follows you and forces you off the highway, where they pass an initiation by putting you in their trunk and dumping you in some unknown location.

See I told you it was real: Mubarak resigns; Israelis worried about peace treaty

The government has a secret underground lab where they keep track of every web page anyone has ever visited.

Forget about area 51!

When the US Gov’t cancelled the SSC( Superconducting Super Colider), it was all part of a nefarious plan! Jus think, the US Government now has miles of secret underground tunnels that it “claims” are abandoned!

There are barracks/housing, high capacity generators, air strips, and even fully equipped labs set up… and apparently all “abandoned” as THEY would want you to think. It helps its in the middle of nowhere biggest urban center anywhere near it is Waxahachie, Texas. Nearly 14 (!) miles of underground tunnels were already completed when the project was abandoned!

You can hide a LOT of stuff in 14 miles of tunnels.

Think about it!

By the way - nice job so far everyone, thanks for your paricipation…

Mount Rushmore was originally supposed to Ulysses Grant on it, not Theodor Roosevelt. When they started carving that part of the mountain a mistake messed up part of Grant’s face. They found that the now exposed rock looked kind of like Roosevelt’s forehead and that they could continue from there.

The government encourages people to have their babies in hospitals so that they can be microchipped under their skin. Once enough new citizens have been microchipped, they’ll activate them and they will be the only valid form of ID. The excuse will be national safety - no Al Qaeda members will be microchipped, so they won’t be able to infiltrate.

Or illegal immigrants. Police will carry little scanners; if they detain a person and can’t find a chip . . . back you go. When a person is arrested they will also update that information on the chip. :dubious:

Keith Richards died in 1975. Not wanting to cancel their tour, the other Stones rushed him to Haiti where a priest performed a voodoo ritual. What we think of as Keith Richards is actually a zombie, so be careful if you go to the concerts–he lost his brain and now he’s coming for yours.

The diameter of the “C” battery was dictated by it’s use in vibrators.

FACEBOOK is actually a gOVERNment TOoL to makea NATIONAL DATABASE of OUR lIKes, DISlieks, frendz, and wHereABouts at ALL TIMEZ and were FALLIN foR it liek SHEEEEEP!!!

WAKE UP PEEPLE!!!

The song ‘Frosty the Snowman’ is about a cocaine dealer who gets busted one day when, running through the streets of town, he hears the narcotics officer holler “stop!”.
mmm

This one actually sounds like a good idea. Where do I join?