Me and my husband have been having a little debate about the popularity of fisting outside of porn. I think it’s like spitting, rarely done outside of porn, and mostly done in porn for the shock value. He disagrees. I also just don’t understand the appeal, and he has yet to adequately explain this.
So, for the women:
Have you ever tried this? How many times?
Did you actually enjoy it? How much was pain, and how much was pleasure?
What was the reason you tried it? Would you ever try it, and why would you?
Would you ever fist your partner?
For the men:
Would you like to fist your partner?
If you think it’s sexy, why?
For me – I’ve never tried it. I don’t think I ever would. I would be worried about my girly bits going back to normal after, and I think it would hurt like hell.
Did you actually enjoy it? How much was pain, and how much was pleasure?
N/A
What was the reason you tried it? Would you ever try it, and why would you?
I would like to try it. Why? Well, why not? I like to try new things.
Would you ever fist your partner?
Sure, if he wanted me to. I think I’d have to work up to it, though.
As far as your girly bits going back to normal–I assume you’ve never delivered a child vaginally?
ETA: I don’t imagine that it would necessarily hurt if I was really into it and we went very slowly and used lots of lube. I hear wearing a latex glove helps. And it’s not like he pushes the clenched fist right in there or something.
I have come damn close with a couple of girls. It depends on how they are built, and what their pleasure/pain threshold is.
I think it is interesting where possible, but in most cases it would take so much working towards that it would be less sexy than tedious- unless she really really wanted to try it, and then it would be hella fun!
Sexy is all about desire. If someone really got off on me dressing up in a furry costume, I would probably get carried away with it and have fun. She’d really have to wanna, though, to get me excited enough for that.
Fisting seems positively trite next to some things. It doesn’t compare with what birth does!
Not for me, though. Pretty much my first rule in the either immediately pre or post-sex detailed conversation is “Stay away from my butt, and I will stay away from yours.” Some women have taken issue with this on attention to their parts, but I remain firm with no contact for my parts. I just am not interested!
Oh, and spitting has only come up as needed for girls who are more into the butt than otherwise- easy lube!
Guy here, never seen the appeal of fisting, either for the fister or fistee. From my experience of porn I can attest that a grossly distended vagina or anus is not a pretty sight and, again in my opinion, an instant turnoff.
would not like it in a garter
would not like it as a barter,
I would not like to fist my partner!
I would not like it, Sam I am!
I’d rather use things that aren’t hands!
A friend of mine had this girlfriend who was ‘very sexual’. He told me how she requested ‘his whole hand inside her’. He only complied with 3 fingers. I asked him if he knew was fisting was and he claimed he did but I’m not sure he knew.
Anyway she dumped him less than a week later for no apparent reason.
I’ve never fisted or have been asked. I have pretty big hands so I’m not sure I would be a good fister.
Anecdote: In my youth, I dropped acid with some friends of mine (a couple) and then opted to crash on their sofabed at the end of the evening, since it was too late to take the most convenient public transit option.
This meant awkwardly listening to them have sex in the next room. More awkwardly, after a pause I found her looming over me, flushed and sweaty.
Back in the early days of our relationship, long before marriage, my wife was a virgin and wanted to stay that way (we were in college and risking a pregnancy at that point was out of the question) so we explored every sexual practice two consenting people can come up with except penis-in-vagina intercourse. This included fisting.
We began innocently enough with me fingering her. She likes to start off with me rubbing her clit, but after a while she needed something inside, so she’d move my hand down so I could put two fingers in. After a few minutes, she would whisper “one more”. A few minutes later, same request. The more I put in, the more she’d respond. At some point she would resume rubbing her clit herself. Eventually, I’d be in as far as my hand could go with my thumb sticking out. This was our regular routine.
On one such occasion, I could tell she was close for a while but just not able to come so I slowly worked my thumb in there, as her responses increased. By the time the bottom knuckle of my thumb disappeared, she began to have the most explosive orgasm I had ever witnessed. From that day on, I kept a container of Vaseline in my nightstand drawer, and the fisting became a regular activity.
Once we began having regular intercourse, she hasn’t requested the fist. I always enjoyed it because of the obvious pleasure she experienced from it, as well as the idea that this petite little woman was able to fit it in there.
She has never tried to fist me, but occasionally uses a finger back there. It’s all that fits, and while I don’t mind it, it’s not something I would ever request. A fist is out of the question.
I have never tried it, but I understand that my maternal grandparents’ third night as a married couple involved a mild form of fisting.
He hadn’t been able to breach her hymen, so finally he bunched his fingers up (think of the gesture that in Italy means “and so?”) and used the bunched fingers to breach her, reasoning that bones are harder than a boner.
So it was done for completely practical reasons. Oh, as this has come up other times: while Grandma was technically a virgin, quoth: “hands and mouths hadn’t exactly been still,” she was no blushing daisy.
easier for some females after vaginal childbirth. if she is not a dripper use lots of water based lube. easier on all fours with front bent lower.
go slow both at the moment and in the whole process, it could take days or weeks for both to get good at doing both their part. trim finger nails very short with no fresh sharp edges.
start with adding multiple fingers and farther in. let the fingers squish together straight. big points are base knuckles of fingers and later thumb and its base knuckle, do very slow working up to these. you might be able to make fist inside. clit action with finger or tongue is a helper both in wanting more and being able to take more.
extraction best done just after orgasm and the relaxation, 2nd or 3rd orgasm is good for this. withdraw very slow.
Same-sex fisting. After having fantasized about it for many years, I finally had the opportunity to do it . . . only once, about 25 years ago, and it was one of the most powerfully intimate sexual experiences of my life. The guy who was the “fistee” was extremely experienced, and I was able to go in to just beyond my elbow. I was pleasantly surprised at how warm it was inside him. I assume I was pushing into his diaphragm, and I could actually feel his heart beating. The intense feeling of intimacy came from actually being inside another human being . . . and once we positioned ourselves properly, we could actually kiss at the same time. An amazing, unforgettable experience.
