world famous chef Julia
Mealmaker. Sig absolutely loved
such Etruscan delicacies as
Chilled Monkey Brains, and
chicken-fried prairie oysters.
He had no objection
to Jello Mold salad
unless it contained pineapple
. His fear of pineapples
(caused by childhood trauma)
stemmed from a nightmare
about Spongebob Squarepants’ house
in which, killer lobsters
stalked him with sharp
[ened] screwdrivers and a caustic
solution of hydrofluoric acid
. After years of therapy
, scream, tickle and gestalt,
Sigmund saw little improvement
in the stock market.