Letters You Do Not Know Where To Send

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Dear Weather,

Not many years ago, you offered predictability and consistency. The results were not always great. You were too hot and humid in the summer and too cold and snowy in the winter.

Recently, you have decided you can’t stay the same for longer than a week. We just had beautiful 18C days (65F), now it’s down to minus ten at night (14F) approaching seasonal records.

Pick a lane! We have enough problems without your Crispy Mini Wheat indecision. Many thanks from a grateful nation.

Any letters you do not know where to send?

2

As for canned tomatoes (of any kind):

Dear Tomato canning peeps,

This is sternly worded missive to let you know your canned tomatoes are junk. Inconsistent and tasteless.
No thank you, I’ll can my own.

Don’t you dare send me a coupon, I’ll rip it up and send it back.

Your friend,
Beckdawrek

3

Dear brain,

Fercryin’outloud, let me sleep! When the room is dark and my head is on the pillow, it’s time to shut down. Quit rehashing stuff, and absolutely quit conjuring up stoopit dreams. I need my beauty sleep, dammit!

Crankily,
FCM

4

When you find this address, let me know.

5

Letters I’ve written, never meaning to send.

Just what the truth is -

I can’t say anymore.

6

Dammit, I came into this thread to write that. 10 seconds sooner and I’d have beaten you

7

Another day’s useless energy spent.

8

Well played. You win this round.

9

Your hospital administration appreciates it. Lincoln did the same.

“If you always tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” - Mark Twain

10

Dear Megastore,

Having arrived at the register, I am prepared to trade money for the goods I have selected then happily leave your establishment. This traditional transaction should please us both. Its historical roots span thousands of years!

I do not wish to purchase your new chicken nuggets. I would already be a member of your loyalty club or points program if I thought it had value. I do not want too many credit cards. I don’t want to super-size. I like supporting charities and do so if worthwhile. If you ask me at the register about a charity I know nothing about, and I supported it recently despite this, I’ve done my bit already for a while. The store clerks do not enjoy having to read these prepared speeches. The people waiting behind me in line would also like to leave the store and continue their day.

Thanks for your consideration. But it works! you say. Sign up online and get coupons for a nickel off our weekly special! It’s for your own good, if there is a recall on this bottle of sauce, you’ll know right away!. Good to know. Some chances are worth taking. Think about it.

11

Dear @Beckdawrek’s physiology,

Give my friend a break here. Stop misbehaving, and stop sending her to the hospital. Let her stay at home, and enjoy her kids and Grandwreks, and spoil the heck out of her menagerie of foundling animals.

-kenobi_65

P.S., While you’re at it, regenerating a kidney should be high on your to-do list.

12

To whom it may concern… I prefer twisty ties to the plastic clips.

13

To just about everybody packaging stuff in the USA:

The planet is drowning in little bits of plastic. Why are we sticking little bits of plastic to just about everything for sale in the country, even more so than we were before we figured out that the planet is drowning in little bits of plastic?

14

“I was born”

15

Is that you David?

16

:face_with_hand_over_mouth:. . . …

I actually stumped my toe

It’s really “I am born”

English lit was many moons ago.

17

Well, yes!!

Please write that letter to TPTB. Soon.

18

FCM, I’ve recently found talking to your brain is fruitless.

Have you tried Ambein?

I can’t use it, but lots of peeps are…

19

Dear Eyes,

Please do not try to be bigger than my stomach. My stomach is already big enough, and I already waste enough food.

20

Working on it. :slight_smile: