I ate the last mango in Paris with Jimmy Buffet.
Don’t believe the rubbish in the dr.deth pitting thread… I started WW I.
I’m a hoochie coochie man.
Every Tuesday, my doctor gets me in for flow cytometry to test me for Paroxysmal Nocturnal Hemoglobinuria, despite my objections that I’m perfectly healthy.
I’m just too honest and self-effacing to post to a thread like this.
George Santos used to call me up whenever he got in a pickle about lying and I’d always give him a few suggestions how he might try some different lies to get out of it.
Back in the late 1980s, I asked Senator Barbara Boxer out on a date. She graciously declined, being married and all.
Thanks to a rare and harmless metabolic condition I have, Cheetos do not stain my fingers.
Back in the early 2000s, I asked CairoCarol out on a date. She graciously declined, being married and all.
Back in the 2010s, burpo_the_wonder_mutt asked me out on a date. I said I prefer figs.
In 1989, I went on a double date with Cecil Adams. @Beckdawrek , I’m sorry I’ve withheld this information for so long.
For years after I turned @burpo_the_wonder_mutt down, I lay awake at night wondering: “What if … ?”
In 1982, Betty Rubble asked me out on a date. I graciously declined, what with her being married and all. The next day, Barney showed up at my door, irate. Apparently she had told him I had made a pass at her, and he wasn’t hearing a word I tried to tell him. He kicked my ass literally all the way across town. Who’d a thought he had it in him to do something like that?
I’m totally astounded.
I thought that was you. 
I have defeated six different cartoon characters to date in hand to hand combat, including: Daffy Duck,
Donald Duck, Howard the Duck (I guess ducks have a problem with me), Speed Racer, Papa Smurf, and Shaggy.
This might be the time, then, to mention that I defeated Baby Huey in a duel, pistols at down, ten paces. Foghorn Leghorn was my second, and the Tasmanian Devil was BH’s.
ISWYDT! Bravo, Victor.
The man from U.N.C.L.E is my nephew.
I have studied stalactites extensively and have written several papers which are highly regarded in speleology circles. Yet if you asked me about stalagmites, I wouldn’t know what you were talking about.
I have 17 socks on this message board.