I was BFFs with Jane Curtin for about six weeks in the midnineties.
I am the secret puppetmaster of Pres. Joe Biden.
I once sampled bird doo just to see what it tasted like.
I hoped you washed your hands before typing this.
I don’t have any hands.
I have some extras. How many do you want?
I remember where I was when Kennedy was shot — in utero.
I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
What a coincidence. I resuscitated him just last Tuesday. He’s pissed.
Please excuse any typos - I’m currently fighting a rabid bear.
My middle name is “the.”
I was named for my grandfather. My name is Gran(ville) D. Father.
I am burpo_the_wonder_mutt’s OTHER grandfather.
Which one? I’ve had seven.
I’m a sixty minute man. I’m the seventh son. Got a conqueroo and I walk on gilded splinters.
I have actual diamonds on the soles of my shoes.
I am Captain Kirk’s great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother.
My house is two dimensional.
Our house had two cats in the yard and was in the middle of our street. We couldn’t afford to have it moved, so the county had it condemned. The bastards.
House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!