Valletta is now the seventh city in Europe to have bestowed upon me a ‘Key to the City’.
I am an actual Solme person, born and raised in Solme, Sweden. My home town is best known for our annual beet-squishing festival.
I do not, however, call @SunUp the “space cowboy,” preferring to use the name “Ampersand Snotwhistle.”
I spent the last month doing nothing but push-ups, stopping only for a few minutes each day to check in on my favorite tread games.
My diet consists entirely of orange sherbet Push-Ups.
I smoke weed and I’m in a punk band called the fuck nuggets.
I’ve been quietly buying up shares in The Colruyt Group over the last decade and now own 43% of it.
I’ve always advised people look for good investments to check out Belgian supermarkets.
I’ve always avoided Belgian supermarkets because it sounds too much like “belchin’ supermarkets,” and that just offends my delicate sensibilities.
I’ve always thought that “good investments” was describing a sexy priest.
I run a lingerie advice phone line for Belgian priests.
I gave my daughter a piece of overpriced junk jewelry and she cried for eight hours then shot me.
I’m sorry about that, Dad.
I bought a Tesla because Elon is a fascist.
Under cover of darkness, I roam around Hawaii Island smearing Spam on the windshields of all the Cybertrucks I can find.
I’m part of a group of genetic engineers working on creating a Siamese cat with lime-green points.
I built a robot that can shave a gerbil in under eight seconds.
My company is trying to genetically engineer hairless gerbils.
I run a ballet studio for dogs. It’s called Tutus and Terriers.
I own a tutu, which was a gift to me from Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
I am currently favorite to be the next pope. I have ordered my mitre and zucchetto
from Amazon.