As a small child, I carried everything on my head, which is why my skull is quite flat.
I have the skull of my mortal enemy in my cupboard. I tried to drink wine from it, but it kept spilling out of the eye sockets and mouth.
Due to a childhood accident, my knees bend the other direction, like a chicken.
I caused the accident that damaged @burpo_the_wonder_mutt many years ago. Today, I alternate between pride at my accomplishment and shame over what I did.
I own the rights to the trademarked name “Burpo the Wonder Mutt,” but only in Vanuatu.
I once placed second in a Burpo the Wonder Mutt look-alike contest at a farmer’s market opening in Preque Isle, Maine. The prize was a pound of kale. (First prize was a half pound.)
I once placed second in a kale-eating contest. The winner has yet to recover.
I came in 7th in a burpo_the_wonder_mutt lookalike contest in my hometown of Powtanville, Indiana. I had Donald Elbert burn it down for me. After I got my pension check, of course.
I drew the whistling frog design that features on Bermuda’s 20-dollar commemorative note. My fee was only $20, so they paid me with the very first note printed, which was nice.
I won the first Squid Games.
I tried to start my own Squid Games, but the squids were uncooperative. Molluscs are not money-motivated.
Money can buy me love.
I came in second place at a Pontius Pilate look-a-like contest in Tokyo.
I came in first!
My penname is Stephen King. Maybe you have heard of me.
My name is Inigo Montoya.
In the forty-second dimension, my name is spelled Eyxmrssvbln, but it’s pronounced “You Talkin’ to Me? You Talkin’ to Me?”
I only have two bones.
I am the Pirate King! And it is, it is a wonderful thing to be a Pirate King!
I am fluent in 7,590 languages.