I am a devout adherent to 61 religions.
I am made of a secret blend of 61 herbs and spices.
I have a bionic scrotum
Samuel L. Jackson gives me a foot massage on Tuesdays.
While thrashing around during a horrendous nightmare, I accidentally removed my own appendix.
I’ve managed to sustain myself for ten years by drinking my own urine and eating nothing more than my toenail clippings
Never ever, even once in my life, have I been guilty of PWD (Posting While Drinking). And for sure that isn’t what I’m doing now.
Beloved actor Bill Murray has been my best friend since junior high school.
I have built a full-sized trebuchet in my back yard and use it to launch old pizza crusts at houses over three hundred feet away.
I’ve often wondered how old pizza crusts keep mysteriously appearing in my back yard.
My great great great great great grandfather (Fred Trebuchet) invented the trebuchet
Trebuchets weren’t really usable as a weapon until my great great great great great grandfather Irving Catapult invented the rock.
My grandmother, Florence Mangonel, coined the word “yeet.”
I have ice water in my veins.
I have vein water in my ice.
I’ve got chocolate in my peanut butter.
I got blisters on my fingers.
I got peanut butter on your chocolate!
I have the only copy of the recipe for Reese’s Peanut Butter Big Cups
I have the other only copy of the recipe for Reese’s Peanut Butter Big Cups