Chuck Norris was scared of me.
My latest start-up dry-cleaning business uses centrifuges to remove radioactive stains from clothing such as overalls, tuxedos and lacy panties.
“Radioactive Panties” was the name of the band my college roommate was in.
My college roommate was arrested when his band staged a panty raid at the wrong dormitory.
I knew the guy, and he was bad news.
Back when I was @SCAdian’s roommate I thought the stains on the panties I stole were “hot”. It was only after I took them to @Ferris’s dry-cleaning business and he applied a geiger counter that I learned they definitely were “hot”.
I’ve been x-rayed at least eight dozen times, not counting my years in Guatemala, of course.
X-rays are no use to me as my skin is made mostly of bournonite.
I was on the Moon!
My dad was Blue Moon Odom, and my mom was Daphne Moon.
I was the first person to discover that the moon was made of bournonite.
I once ran the 50-yard dash in 22 minutes and 17 seconds.
Drew Carey once interviewed me for a job at Winfred-Louder.
I’ve had breakfast at Tiffany’s more than once, but less than a million times.
My toenails are on the underside of my toes.
My toenail cuttings are avidly collected by Lithuanian railway inspectors. I wish I knew why.
My left big toenail has wrinkles on it that make it look just like Redd Foxx.
I have seven toenails on my left foot, despite the fact that I only have five toes on my left foot.
I do not have toenails. I have toe rivets.
-“BB”-
I have a pet platypus.