My chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise… My two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…
I absolutely despise Monty Python references. Despise them!
Lying about myself seems physically awkward and frankly anatomically impossible. I prefer to lie in bed.
I was an unpaid extra in Field of Dreams. I was at the Boston Red Sox/Oakland A’s game on May 16, 1988, which was the same game that Ray Kinsella and Terence Mann attend in the movie.
-“BB”-
Hey, I played every other extra in that film! Don’t remember meeting you, though.
I wanted to be an extra in a movie once, but they paid me to leave the set, as they didn’t care for the scent of my durian perfume.
“The Scent of my Durian Perfume” was the name of my 1980’s Sumatran alt-arthouse chick flick horror movie.
It did OK in cinemas that did not have smell-o-rama installed.
I almost exec-produced that movie, and have never stopped bragging about it.
I did exec-produce that movie and seldom mention it.
I was up for the lead in Because of Winn-Dixie when they decided to go with a real dog; seems I wasn’t “scruffy” enough.
I have always thought that you’re more than scruffy enough. You’re welcome.
I shot myself in the head when I was seven years old. I got better.
I proposed to my girlfriend at Niagra Falls. When I fumbled the ring and it fell over the edge, I didn’t hesitate, I jumped right after it. By lucky chance, it bounced up off a small ridge and I was able to catch it midair. Then it was simply a matter of holding onto it while twisting my body round in order to land relatively cleanly in the pools below, holding my breath long enough to get through the churning waters and then strike out for the shore.
I carjacked a Mercedes and raced back up to my girlfriend in order to ‘finish the job’, but she sadly turned me down. 
I witnessed Ferris’s sad predicament and when he left the scene, totally dejected, I tossed the skank into the river and over she went.
I can speak fluelenly in aproximetly 2,118 langages.
I am not procrastinating by reading the SDMB to put off mowing the lawn.
I invented pants.
Being a dog, I invented panting.
OMG, you’re Al Gore!
I’m Al Gore and so is my wife!