You gave me your word you would take this secret to your grave!
You gave me your word you would take this secret to your grave!
What I actually said was, “I can keep this a secret as long as you do.”
You blew it.
At birth, I weighed 29 lbs., 4 oz. One third of that was my ears. I finally “grew into” them two months ago. Next: feet.
A moose once bit my sister…
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge—her brother-in-law— an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: “The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink”…
I don’t know who my real parents are. The people who raised me later told me they found me in a basket on their doorstep, and the only reason they took me in was that they needed the basket.
-“BB”-
I was the one who wrote the copy for the “Do not remove under penalty of law” tags on mattresses. They paid me with a gift certificate to Baskin-Robbins.
I invented the laundromat. Before that, people would take their wash to the river and beat the clothes against the rocks.
I’m 67; I’m still a virgin.
My life was the inspiration for the movie “What’s New Pussycat”.
I thought up a hilarious lie to post here, but I think I’ll keep it to myself.
That is absolutely brilliant! I thought about making the same post.
This is me
This is the lie thread, and the above is a lie.
It’s actually my uncle, and that is true.
That. Is. Boss! (No lie)
I invented the phrase “that is boss.”
Sofia Vergara is stalking me.
I’m stalking Sofia Vergara, while she stalks @boson .
I stalk dead people.
I stalk celery farmers.
I stock soup in my cupboard.