I take stock of myself.
I’m in the stock market. Yesterday I bought two Holsteins and a Guernsey.
-“BB”-
This is a stock photograph of me in a building.
I have six digits on one hand and four on the other – I can still count to ten.
I have five digits on one hand, five on the other, and still can’t count to ten.
I know every curse word in all languages.
Here’s one: Krunk!
I am very handsome. And young!!!
This morning I saved seven orphans from drowning. This afternoon I’ll be filling out the paperwork to adopt all of them.
I believe everything that’s been posted here so far. Every single word. Even the stuff I’ve posted.
I have absolute faith in homeopathy, astrology, chiropractice, and tarot. I’m 100% healthy, so obviously, they all work.
I was enrolled in a girls’ school until sixth grade; when my voice changed, I was given the boot – which I still wear, on occasion.
The plants in my yard that I talk to grow twice as fast as those I verbally ignore.
My plants talk to me.
I’m thinking of taking therapy to get rid of my habit of trying to one-up the things people tell me.
I’m already in therapy ten hours a week with seven different therapists to try to stop one-upping people.
I had an affair with Donald Trump.
I wish I had an affair with Donald Trump.
I’m married to George Santos!
I had a threesome with George Santos.
George Santos is my mother.
Cecil Adams is my uncle.