You don’t look a day over 30.
“Your call is important to us.”
“The jury will disregard that outburst”
“Don’t worry, this won’t have any reflection on your bonus”
“I tell it like it is.” No, you tell it like you see it.
“My house is sooooo messy.” There will be a tiny layer of dust in the museum-like living room.
“My house is kind of in disarray.” I’ll need the surgical gloves.
“It’s been a while since I’ve done laundry.” The entire bedroom (or in one case, bedroom and hallway) floor is carpeted in dirty clothes.
“The dog is pretty docile.” Means it doesn’t bite. Says nothing about bark bark bark bark barking nonstop the whole time I’m there.
Just what the hell were you doing in my apartment?!?
Rather like the con I heard assuring the hospital doctor that he was clean, he’d got himself off the drugs, the prison doctor had nothing to do with it, and he neeeeeeded morphine for his belly pain…
I assume this is meant at the dentist’s office, these lies also works for anal too.
"Trust me. I’ve done this before. " Sure you have. Where’s the fire extinguisher?
“You’ve got to hear this album / see this movie. It’s THE BEST!” I’m sure it is. I will be sure to do that right after I wash my cat and rotate my tires. The last time somebody tried to sell me on this was Superbad. I walked out after 15 minutes.
“Taste this. I don’t know if I like it.” Total trap if your SO does this. I don’t know anybody who’s given the right answer.
I hate it when someone asks me a “quick question” at work. Well, the question is quick. However, it would usually take hours of research for me to answer it.
“I’m not angry”
“It was on sale” (one of women’s top lies, according to an Australian newspaper)
Friendly fire
Isn’t that an oxymoron?
“If I weren’t already dating someone, I’d totally be into you.”
“You speak better Japanese than a native Japanese person!”
“I’m sorry you were offended.”
“I didn’t even notice the spinach stuck between your front teeth, honest!”
I never lie.