Life is not good right now

[Acsenray]

Believe me, my union stewards are keeping an eye on all these factors.

I really appreciate the interest and concern in my situation from all you folks. It’s very touching.

Just a brief update — I have had a mid-30-day progress meeting and a post-30-day progress meeting with my boss and his boss. The upshot is that they are “pleased” with my “progress” and will re-evaluate the situation at my mid-year review. Meanwhile, my boss is to give me weekly updates/commentary/advice on my ongoing performance. So, they are not taking any disciplinary action against me right away, but what it feels like is an ongoing, continuous review.

After the last progress meeting, my boss pulled me aside and he seemed considerably relieved at his boss’s position at this point. It seems like he really doesn’t want to do this to me—or at least that’s the impression he wants me to have. Either way, I’m going to keep going on my job search, because I can’t live with this situation. I found a couple of really good openings last week and I’ve got my fingers crossed.

One of my colleagues who is also been under pressure from his boss advised me to stop looking for a job and force them to fire me, so I can get as much cash out of them as possible. But there is no way I can see myself doing that. First of all, the stress of the last 30 days was absolutely brutal. I got very sick and was afraid to be out of the office. Even though it’s slightly better now, it’s obvious that it’s not going to go back to normal ever. And although cash would be good, I can’t risk my day-to-day need to pay bills based on that kind of hope.

Regarding my pension, apparently, I will get to keep what I’ve earned, but I won’t be able to claim it until it reaches its maturity date. Of course, if I leave the company before it kicks in, it won’t be as big, because I won’t have left the company at the same salary level. The fact that they will still have to give me what they owe me is some comfort.

Really, it looks to me like my boss’s boss (1) doesn’t like me, (2) wants to fuck with me, (3) possibly to show her corporate superiors what a bad-ass she is. Our unit is the most demoralized unit in the division. Most of the other units have managers that at least behave as if they have their underlings’ backs.

[Sunny_Daze]

Thanks for the update. Sorry things are still not great.

It’s one of the great mysteries of corporate life to me. When a group or division is demoralized, the manager is never penalized. It’s the direct reports who keep paying the piper.

[Wheelz]

Earlier I advised you to get out of there, but your last post makes me re-think that advice. If I’m interpreting things correctly, your direct boss is pulling for you, and the company as a whole isn’t horrible. These are both checks in the pro column.

It sounds like your boss’s boss is the shitty part of the equation. I’ve had plenty of shitty bosses and shitty boss’s bosses in my time, and you know what? I always outlast them. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as hearing the news that a shitty boss has been fired/quit/transferred/not your problem anymore.

Shitty people tend to get found out sooner or later. Keep doing your job to the best of your ability, cultivate a good relationship with your direct boss, try not to take your boss’s boss’s shit too personally, and hang in there. This tunnel will have a light at the end.

[WildBlueYonder]

@Lasciel

. Job insecurity KILLS men, all the time

:dubious::dubious:

So…its so much easier on women?

@Quartz

Oh dear. They want you out. So tell them No. Get a counsellor and tell your boss that you are receiving treatment for a medical condition - and depression is one - that means that you you will not be able to meet those goals. No, you are not going to share details of the condition, but you will advise your boss if any workplace adjustment is deemed necessary.

Isnt there a protection under the disabilities act that you cant be fired for being under a doctors treatment?

@PastTense

Actually the key phrase I saw as “qualify for early retirement in three years”. This looks to me like the company wants to save money on pensions so wants to get rid of you now. And this could violate age discrimination laws.

No doubt and if so, seems they know how to get around the laws. Just like most big companies these days, get rid of the long term employees and stick in either temps or low paid employees

On the other hand, it sounds like the OP feels better in their post.

I’ve been on the side of zillions of job turn downs. Its simply horrible to be qualified for a position but get slammed by some 20 year old pretty KNOW NOTHING female.

Continuous job pursuit rejection really takes a big toll! I feel your pain OP.

[Grim_Render]

@Acsenray

One of my colleagues who is also been under pressure from his boss advised me to stop looking for a job and force them to fire me, so I can get as much cash out of them as possible. But there is no way I can see myself doing that. First of all, the stress of the last 30 days was absolutely brutal. I got very sick and was afraid to be out of the office. Even though it’s slightly better now, it’s obvious that it’s not going to go back to normal ever. And although cash would be good, I can’t risk my day-to-day need to pay bills based on that kind of hope.

Given the amount of time you’ve been with them it would also not looks o good on your CV. Frankly, it sounds like a move best pulled just before you retire, not as part of a career.

[Grim_Render]

@WildBlueYonder

So…its so much easier on women?

Got to say, I suspect it is at least slightly less bad. Society rolls more of a mans self-worth into profession/career/providing.

I wonder what the suicide rates say?

[Quartz]

Really sorry to hear that things are so bad. We’re here to listen.

Does your state have the concept of Constructive Dismissal?

[WildBlueYonder]

@Grim_Render

Got to say, I suspect it is at least slightly less bad. Society rolls more of a mans self-worth into profession/career/providing.

I wonder what the suicide rates say?

Probably more men but only because probably more men are in the work force and that they are the ones predominantly bringing home the bacon.
Dont denigrate until you’ve been there-women do suffer just as much. Otherwise, are they out on a picnic having a good time. Not worrying about bills, the next meal on the table, disappointing their husband and children at Christmas time?

Hmm.

[WildBlueYonder]

@Quartz

Really sorry to hear that things are so bad. We’re here to listen.

Does your state have the concept of Constructive Dismissal?

I know the question isnt for me but…
Michigan has “fire” without cause. So nice. Not sure that phrase is right but you get the gist

[Acsenray]

I thought things were getting better, but ,

My direct supervisor was out for two weeks and I had to do both our jobs, working directly with his boss.

To my face she seems completely normal, but when my boss returns, she sends all these passive-aggressive criticisms through him.

I’ve developed seriously high blood pressure—I don’t know that this is the cause, but it certainly can’t be helping.

I had the actual flu in March. Yesterday I found out I have bronchitis. I’m certain this has something to do with the constant humiliation, uncertainty, and stress—and the open plan office.

I’m afraid to take more sick leave so soon after being out for two weeks.

[Quartz]

@PastTense

Actually the key phrase I saw as “qualify for early retirement in three years”. This looks to me like the company wants to save money on pensions so wants to get rid of you now. And this could violate age discrimination laws.

@Chefguy

Reading this prompts me to advise talking to your union rep about “constructive termination”, which is where an employer causes you to resign by creating a hostile work environment. It’s against labor laws. You might even mention it to your boss, as he will be quick to pass that up to the big cheeses. They don’t want a lawsuit, I’m sure.

@Acsenray

I thought things were getting better, but

Reread Chefguy’s and PastTense’s posts. Document, document, document. And relax and smile. They want you out so just let them do the work, then hit them with the big whammy.

[ThelmaLou]

My heart (and stomach) are aching for you. Don’t have advice except to take care of yourself. You are worth more than this job and the petty people there. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep us posted, okay? {{{Hugs}}}

[Acsenray]

Thanks guys.

[Sunny_Daze]

I’ll echo the document, document, document part. Also, keep it at home, so you know you have access to it. Print out things that seem relevant (even if you’re not sure) and take them home.

I’m pulling for you. {{{hugs}}}

[digs]

Damn, I saw this get bumped and I really thought it’d be “Quit my job, had a tough three days, but thanks to my new attitude I’ve got my choice of better jobs and my wife realizes it’s better to have a happy spouse than a pile of cash. Oh, and I learned how to play the guitar.”

That was my story (except it was six weeks, but I was shocked at how much of my soul was getting sucked out, and how fast I got my mojo back as soon as my soul was out of sucking range)…

[not_what_you_d_expect]

I left a toxic work place about a year ago. My life is so much better since then.

I left without another job lined up and I was petrified, but things were so bad that I just no longer cared and I knew that staying was going to kill me.

I got very lucky. I’d applied for another position that was way beneath my abilities with the hope that the salary would be adequate. Turned out they couldn’t afford me, but unbeknownst to me at the time, the person who interviewed me was giving her notice to the boss later that day. So she took my resume with her when she went to give notice and I ended up getting her job, which was a much better fit for me and it paid more than I’d been making. A lot more.

I’m wishing that something similar happens for you.

Don’t let the bastards kill you. You’re all you’ve got.

[Acsenray]

Wow that’s great.

[Ca3799]

You are in a very stressful and scary position and that can’t feel good.

I went through a similar experience in my company over the last two years. We are not union.

The new management wanted us to “do better” but weren’t really clear on exactly what that looked like or how to get there.

It seemed to me that they knew what they wanted but weren’t passing this information down to those who needed it. I was fearful that they were using these unpublished guidelines to thin the herd.

I’ve been there a very long time and am very aware that they could hire two new folks for the price that they pay me, so I was afraid I was in line to be pushed out. I’ve been there for over 20 years and I really like my job for many reasons.

Here’s what I did to protect myself and my position:

I saw a therapist and was evaluated for the anxiety and depression I was feeling. I was referred to a psychiatrist for medication. I feel much better now.

I used my company’s tuition reimbursement program to advance my degree and enhance my work. I thought I would need this for a future job search. I also thought they would not like this, but it turned out they thought it showed committment and were pleased.

Then I asked around (and snooped around) to find out what their future plans were and made sure I was aligned with the goals of my organization. I found out that they were ranking employees on a scale. I snooped and snagged a copy of the scale and made sure I stayed in the “good employee” column. The things they score employees on were/are:

Comes to work on time.
Has a good attitude.
Is a problem solver; Brings possible solution(s) when presenting problem.
You relax when you know they are there.
Is a good influence on others.
Follows (new company programs).
Adheres to company policies concerning breaks, personal phone calls, leaving the work area, and other absences from work.
Demonstrates high commitment to making things better for the company and organization as a whole. (This was the education part.)

“Bad” employees do these things:

Points out problems in a negative way.
Positions leadership poorly.
Master of We/They. Says organization/leadership/manager is the problem.
Passive aggressive.
Thinks they will outlast the leader so don’t need to follow new programs/initiatives.
Does not communicate effectively about absences from work areas. Handles personal
phone calls in a manner that interferes with work. Breaks last longer than allowed.
Shows little interest in improving own performance or the performance of the organization.
Demonstrates little commitment to the organization.
Develops professional skills only when asked.
Comes to work with a negative attitude. Has a negative influence on the work environment.

I still think they should share this information with employees so they know how to shape themselves into what the company wants. I think they don’t do this so that they can get rid of “bad” employees and expensive employees such as myself.

Anyway, I made sure to be what they were looking for. I had my annual evaluation this week and did very well. I’m comfortable that my spot is safe for now but even if it weren’t, I’m in a good position to find new employement due to my lengthy experience and addition education.
(I’m still slightly suspicious that they may want to ditch me in the future- after my tuition contract of 2 years expires- but even then, I’m more valuable in the job hunting market with the additional education. Heck, I might even pursue more education on their dime! Finding someone else to pay for your education is a smart move.)

Best of luck to you!

[digs]

@not_what_you_d_expect

I got very lucky. I’d applied for another position that was way beneath my abilities with the hope that the salary would be adequate. Turned out they couldn’t afford me, but unbeknownst to me at the time, the person who interviewed me was giving her notice to the boss later that day. So she took my resume with her when she went to give notice and I ended up getting her job, which was a much better fit for me and it paid more than I’d been making. A lot more.

Ok, there’s your interviewing strategy:

“So, Mr. Ash Can Ray… oh, I see it’s Acsenray, is that a slavic name? Oh, they keep telling me I shouldn’t ask that. Anyway, what position are you applying for?”

“Well, actually I want you to quit and I’ll take your job.”

“Hmm, I really should give two weeks’ notice. Can you start on the 30th?”

[not_what_you_d_expect]

Well, it didn’t go quite like that.

But sometimes just getting your resume out there can lead to good things happening.