I am just kicking life’s ass right now. I am killing it at work, my golf game is better than it’s ever been, and I’m dating a [del]10[/del] 12.
Why do I feel like shit? I’ve never been depressed before. Maybe just overworked?
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People who have never experienced depression have a difficult time grasping this, but it doesn’t actually have to be correlated to negative life circumstances. (Negative life circumstances can certainly cause or exacerbate depression in a huge way, but they aren’t necessary.) People who say, ''Why are you depressed? Everything in your life is great!" lack empathy and utility.
So, I’m sorry you feel like shit. The only thing I can pretty much guarantee is that if you beat yourself up for feeling like shit, you’re going to feel even worse. You have every right to feel like shit, you don’t have to justify it or explain yourself.
What symptoms are you dealing with? If you’ve been feeling this way for 6 weeks or longer I suggest you see a mental health professional.
Maybe two weeks at the most, but it runs in the family
Sounds like you have a lot going on, so you could have stress tiring you out. Yes, even good things can bring lots and lots of stress.
But as SW says, depression isn’t about your life being bad. My one depressive episode was during a time that was completely indistinguishable from the non-depressed months before and the non-depressed months after. Life IS weird. And brains is weirder.
Sometimes when people achieve a lot of their goals and then suddenly they feel a little emptiness because there is nothing left to shoot for, no challenges left to overcome. It’s like you can see your entire future laid out before you in your mind with no surprises and that is depressing. Or it could be just regular ol’ depression.
Perhaps because you’ve come to a stage in life where you actually feel like you have something to lose?
Cite: Alexander the Great (maybe).
I know sometimes in my past my depression has kicked in very oddly when I felt very happy and everything was great…because I immediately went into ‘fretting mode’ and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Everything is great----shit, something bad is about to happen! <and then a spiral into ‘well everything sucks always anyway. Why do I try to be happy?’>”
But I have struggled with depression often. so that may not be your issue. (Oh crap, I’m really happy now…what’s going to go wrong???) :eek:
Speaking for myself, it’s not just that depression often isn’t about bad stuff, it seems to me like there’s no correlation whatsoever. One of my deepest hits was when I had a mountain of great stuff going on, I was engaged, I was recently promoted at work, I’d recently finished my MS and was working on my PhD. At another time, I had a lot of bad stuff going on, stagnation in my career, single for a long stretch, family and friend drama, and I was doing reasonably fine. It seems it has a much tighter correlation with stress, where even if I love the work I’m doing and getting a lot done, that’s still stressful and it adds up. Other times, it just seems to come out of nowhere.
If it’s only been for a couple weeks, now’s the time to start thinking about what small tweaks you can make. If you feel a little overworked, take a break, maybe a long weekend. Call up a friend or family member you trust and hang out with them, talk about how you’re feeling, maybe just expressing it or being with someone you care about will help, sometimes they can give perspective or do small things to help.
For other types of people, even if you are kicking life’s ass, sometimes that routine can get a bit monotonous and you need to change things up some. Maybe a day trip to a nearby town, a trip to the park, calling up and hanging with friends you haven’t seen in a while, or doing something adventurous can help. Personally, I find routine helps me stay focused and out of funks, but some people find routine itself to be stressful, but even I need a change-up from time to time.
And, yeah, don’t be afraid to seek professional help, especially if this lasts much longer or gets worse. Sometimes a well-intentioned person might give poor perspective or advice, and a professional is going to be trained to be a better listener and give more objective and helpful responses. You may find you only need to do a couple sessions and they can help you make a few minor tweaks and things get better quickly.
Yeah, it was stress that put me over the edge for my last major depressive episode. But the thing about depression, as others have said, is that it need have no relationship to how well things are actually going in your life.
I knew a girl like this. Beautiful, great consulting job, nice house, etc. But, was she messed up mentally. Made terrible decisions in her personal life that were just head-scratchers. A big part of her problem was that all her friends were like what you described. They all treated her like Royalty and she couldn’t talk to them about her issues, because they didn’t believe her. She really needed someone to go all Dr. Laura on her occasionally.
I don’t know how self-critical and guilt-ridden you generally are as a person, but I can relate. The points in my life where my anxiety disorder has generally provoked the worst depressive episodes have been when I felt like for once I was on top of everything and spent every waking moment worrying that I didn’t deserve it and concerning myself with how I’d manage to fuck it up.
But then, I tend inherently towards self-criticism and guilt over the slightest issues. I don’t know if that’s something you’ve ever struggled with, but if it is, it’s perfectly natural to feel like shit even when to the outside viewer you shouldn’t have anything to feel like shit about.
As someone who has been dealing with clinical depression for over 30 years, my episodes had absolutely nothing to do with how well (or not) things were going in my life. Totally chemical. After much trial-and-error medication along with nutritional supplements, I just started feeling normal about 5 years ago.
In the beginning, I would note how long the episode would last and how much time between episodes. When they occurred more frequently and more intensely over time, I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Can you be more specific what “feels like shit” means?
You feel tired and run down?
Anxious?
Disinterested in the various things in your life that should make you feel like your “kicking ass”?
Dissatisfied?
That there is some aspect of your life that’s missing?
You don’t tell us how old you are. Depending on whether you are in your 20s, 30s or 40s (or older) puts things in a different context.
Have you gone through many changes lately or are things changing around you faster than you would like? Or not as fast as you would like?
Yeah…sounds like pretty much everyone I know in a “nice consulting job”. I’ve been a management consultant off and on for 20 years. Like many high-paying, high- profile, high-stress jobs, it attracts a lot of people who tend to project an air of awesomeness and constant having their shit together. Meanwhile, their personal shit is definitely not together.