Please forgive me: this is my first Pit Rant ever, and I have stumbled pretty far down the path of Unforgivable Drunkenness.
Four years ago LIFE, you lead me to a woman who I would become terribly smitten with. We hit it off well, and as time meandered by, we became lovers. She went to college and I continued my abusive labor on the graveyard shift of IBM. We agreed that we should see other people while she was at school, because she was four hours away, and our schedules were, for the most part, incompatible. Yet despite the distance we still loved each other very much, even when it became increasingly clear that she was not the same person I fell in love with all of those years ago.
And now for some dreadful reason the head of reality has reared it’s ugly head. I talked with her on the phone and it became increasingly clear that she and I are in two different worlds. Once school is done she wants to satisfy her case of wanderlust and see the world before she settles down, a period of time which even she was unable to measure. I am a relatively simple man with simple pleasures, and all I really wanted was a home to call my own, a steady job with good pay and most importantly, her.
But you’re not going to let me have her, are you, you fucking puddle of used douche? I said if I would be willing to go with her if she could commit to me alone as her lover. She said no, at least not now. Her undefinable time schedule has made it clear to me that if I wanted to wait, I could be waiting a long time. I already go insane practically every day at work, slaving away in that shithole wishing hour after hour that instead of wasting my precious youth working for a corporation that is so heartless that the CEO would fuck me up the ass for a point on his stock, I was with her.
But from what I gather from the conversation, I’m not she she wants. And she’s everything I could ever hope for in a woman, but I can’t have her. And instead of being THE ONE, she will have to be known as THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY.
So Life. Fuck you. Fuck you for waving a woman who understands my strange sense of humor, my eccentric ways, the way I feel and the way I think and the way I love in front of me and yanking her away. Fuck you for making me have to go through the pain of confronting this issue and having to lay all of the cards on the table. And fuck you for making me cry. Oh yes, you faceless cock llama, you made me cry, a deed that is more rare and far fetched than anything I can recall in my drunken stupor.
And for that I hate you with every cell, every heartbeat, every neural impusle that flows through my body in every second of my existence. I hope that God will deepthroat you with a cattle prod and Satan will assfuck you with the same drill that’s being used to save the miners in the news. I wish upon you every conceivable hell throughout time, those wretched devices and thoughts of pure hatred that would make Dante’s trip through the inferno seem like that fucking annoying Disney ride, “It’s a Small World After All.” I hope upon all hopes that the misery and suffering you have forced me to burden today is nothing compared to the malice and rancid fury I can unleash upon you.
You Life, are the worm vainfully struggling to free itself from the corn ladened mass of excrement as it swirls around in the yellow-brown urine stain water of existence. I can’t wait for you to be flushed.
Now if you’ll excuse me ladies and gentlemen, my fruit punch, gingerale and Bacardi 151 awaits me (and yes it IS as nasty as it sounds).
It ain’t life, it ain’t you, it’s her. She let you think she understood your strange sense of humor?- nope- she lied. She cared about your eccentric ways?- nope- she lied.
As always, Shakespeare says it best:
My love is as a fever longing still
For that which longer nurseth the disease,
Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,
Th’uncertain sickly appetite to please.
My reason, the physician to my love,
Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,
Hath left me, and I desperate now approve
Desire is death, which physic did except.
Past cure I am, now reason is past care,
And frantic mad with evermore unrest;
My thoughts and my discourse as madmen’s are,
At random from the truth vainly expressed:
For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright,
Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.
Hey, I feel for ya. If you need a drink or something, drop an e-mail, I assume you live pretty close by (I’m in Burlington).
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 22 long years on this planet, it’s that life just is, and I’ve got to get around in it on my own. Try not to have too many regrets, as you’ve still got plenty of time ahead to have wonderful things (and other crappy things) happen to you. Too much time thinking about the “what ifs” can just get you down. Think about today, and don’t dwell too long on things you can’t control.
But seriously, if you need to just get out or talk with someone, send an e-mail.
Things will get better. You might not believe it now, but take it from a veteran of the love wars: You are better off.
By the way, it’s Smegma, not Smega. Smegma is that cheesy substance found under men’s foreskins. Women have it too. I think in women it’s known as Vulveeta.
Thanks for the support. 24 hours and 3 shots of vodka on an empty stomach later, I’m feeling a little better. I’m doing my best to go on with what I was planning because there really isn’t much left for me to do.
Some people call my ex a liar. Call me naiive, but I’ve been with her off and on for 4 years. I’d like to think that in the end, having spent so much time caring for one person, it hasn’t come down to that. But then again we live in a world where people bbq kittens alive and we find dead 5 year old girls who have been raped. Anything is possible.
It doesn’t help that work tends to amplify the problem. 3 or 4 12 hour work days in a row tends to grind you down fast, especially at the IBM plant in Essex. The rumors are more layoffs are coming, which is not good considering we’ve had routine layoffs since last year. Eonwe knows what I’m talking about. Also Eonwe check yer mail.
I’ll post updates if they occur in the near future. If I remember right I’m talking with the ex on Tuesday, aka ROUND 2.
I was]trying to lift your spirits, goddamit!Take a look at the title of your post, motherfucker, if you can see through the vodka you just inhaled. Pretty nasty, huh?
Go fuck yourself!
Quasi
PS: sorry for the language, but some people I just don’t have any sympathy for, and this slob is one of them!
get the end of thing cut, and you won’t have smegma dripping from it…
Look at the bright side: With the extreme depression, lack of appetite and constant shots of hard alcohol, you are bound to drop 5-20 pounds pretty quick! Worked for me! Sure I felt like shit, but man, did I look great!
She told me she loved me like a brother. She was from Arkansas, hence the Joy!
Oh, that’s terrible! I wish there was some way we could help. But hey, if you need to talk or even just want to, my email and aim screen name are on my profile. I’d be more than happy to listen.
Oh, that’s terrible! I wish there was some way we could help. But hey, if you need to talk or even just want to, my email and aim screen name are on my profile. I’d be more than happy to listen.
I was being facetious Quasi. At least through the vodka I could tell when people had honest sympathy, when people were poking fun, and in your case, when people with an intellectual vacuum between their fucking skulls fly off the handle for no really good reason.
Here’s a few smiley faces for you incase you can’t get the humor.
Take a fucking pill and get some exercise, you’ll live longer. :D:D
I accept your apology and offer one of my own. I was nearly as callous as you were, when I could have swallowed my pride and explained myself with grace. Instead I used obscenity. Even though this IS the Pit and this is what it’s for, we can hold ourselves up to a higher standard, and perhaps we should.
I only in the future Quasi that you offer me the benefit of the doubt when I post and that when I speak in a foul manner, I do so to invoke humor, and in return I will endeavor to make myself more clear so that situations like this are avoided entirely.
I am very glad this is resolved, and no harm has been done.
I am sincerely yours, both you and all others who have posted here with concern for my wellbeing,
I was definitely out of line with my comments and the name-calling. It’s just not the way I usually act and y’all were right to call me on it. I’ve made the mistake once before, but God willing I won’t make it again. Thanks for your reply, and for your gentlemanly tone.
Sorry you are going through a rough time right now, and I wanted to tell you that I went through much the same thing. If I may, I’d like to suggest not drinking (especially on an empty stomach) to excess. You need your head clear, not only to deal with the ex, but also with the impending layoffs. Get your resume updated if it isn’t already, and don’t let the axe fall without having something else waiting.
My e-mail address is in my profile if you care to write. Otherwise, keep your head up and as we say in Germany, “Halt’ die Ohren steiff.” (“Keep your ears stiff”.:D)
