On Tuesday it was my Dad’s 65th birthday. He has a brother who lives in Brisbane, so for his birthday pressie I had bought him a trip to Oz.
On Monday night he “decided” to have a massive stroke. He rang me and in very slurred speach said “I’m on the floor and I can’t get up”. I raced to him and then the ambulance took him to hospital. After about an hour in hospital he suddenly went downhill very fast. At that point several other family members were there and we agreed to take him off life support.
I stayed with him until 8:45-ish when he finally stopped making HORRIBLE noises and died.
Nothing prepares you for losing your dad but especially not on his birthday! 65 is supposed to a celebration of your working life (and shit the funeral is tomorrow and his work is going to be over represented) but 65 is so young. I just can’t get over the fact that I don’t have a daddy any more.
Thank you so much. I took his credit card out of his wallet and felt bad but SDMB has been my “home” for years, I just needed to say MY DADDY DIED to the universe.
That is truly tragic as it unfolded. Know though, that there are no ‘better circumstances’ for losing our parents. No matter how it unfolds we all want to think I wish it had happened another way. Suddenly in their sleep, no chance to say goodbye, after a lengthy illness, watching painful slow decline, while far away on holiday, at their desk at work. There simply is no good way.
And, of course, it’s very hard to lose your parent, whenever it happens.
If it’s not too hard for you, and only if you feel so inclined, I’m confident I’m not alone in wanting to know more about this man than the tragic circumstances of his death. Why not share a little more of him with us?
You have my deepest sympathies for your loss, I shall remember you and your family in my prayers in the coming weeks. I wish you peace.
Bugger I just wrote a whole thing about dad and I don’t know if the dope lost it or my computer did but is lost.
In essence, it is not a funeral today but a memorial because dad’s wishes was donate his body to the Universty of Auckland medical department. He always wanted to help and this was his way of keeping helping (he’d been a blood donor for years “O Neg” they rang him fairly often to ask him to come in and give blood) and his mother died 5 years ago and gave her body.
My deepest condolences. It is a huge shock. October 15 2005 my phone rings at 2:15am. It’s my brother. Dad ( 3 hours away by car ) is not able to be awakened but is breathing. They fear a massive stroke of some kind. An hour later Mom calls. MRI shows a large intracranial hemmorhage. He was brain dead.
The day was a slow nightmare. I feel for you, this is just a life-altering thing. Keep those you rely upon close and spend time thinking about the good things you shared with him. This is going to take you a lot of time, and eventually the pain will lessen.
But, yanno… it’s Dad. The pain doesn’t go away ever, if you had a good relationship with him.
Feel free to email me if you wish to, these memories of that event came flooding back when I read your O.P. and I empathize.
And, good on him ! My Dad was an organ donor and even incredibly obese with other health issues at 75, his liver and kidneys went to people whose lives were changed as a result.
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Show some love. Be an organ donor ! Sign the back of your drivers license.
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So sorry to hear of your loss {{{{hug}}}}.
When mr.ilc lost his father to a heart attack mr.ilc was devestated. I understand that it helps to keep talking about him and all the memories. So, when you have the time write up the memories again and share him with us. I think he sounded like a neato guy just from what you told us to date.
Thank you so much for listening to me. This is why I “stole” dads credit card cause I needed to SDMB, you are good people.
My husband died when my son was just over a year old (I’ve been single since then by choice), my dad has pretty much been his dad or father figure anyway. My son is 15, Dad did school trips, holidays all the significant moments with my son…he’s pretty shell shocked right now.
I am too. It’s 7am and I have been awake all night…shit I’ve pretty much been awake since Monday. I just can’t adjust to the fact that he is gone.
calm kiwi, I’m very sorry to hear about your Dad. At 65 he’s just starting his second childhood. Once I found this thread this morning, I’ve been sitting here letting my coffee get cold with teary vision, thinking about life without fathers. Mine has just turned 70 and still climbs trees with chainsaws, which gets him growled at (in fun though). I dread not having him around for advice, fun and companionship.
I wish you and your son all the best in this difficult time.
Dave
My deepest condolences. I really can’t imagine the scope of your loss; even reading it made me feel horrible for you. My dad is 68 and he’s still my daddy, too. I think I’ll call him now and tell him that I love him. In the midst of your loss, thank you for reminding me to take the time.
I am very sorry for your loss. Remember that you will always have your daddy, even if he’s not here anymore. Cherish your memories and he will always be there for you and your son.
