Tell me it gets better. I’ve seen other people reach this point and now I’m there my self. I don’t know how it happened. One minute I was king, now I just got my self off the floor from hyperventilating and crying.
How are old you? Able to get to a doctor and get some medical assistance first?
Twenty six, I’m already coming back to reason and I am so embarrassed I started this thread. I lost my best friend, she dumped me with no warning. Now all we do is hurt / stress each other out. It happened way too fast and I know how pathetic this sounds because its not really a big problem compared to what other people have gone through.
Life sucks the life out of you.
I’ve been there, my friend, more than once. Yes, it gets better.
Several things have helped me. One is studying Buddhist philosophy with regard to suffering and desire. Another is determining what is truly important to me and focusing on that. Make a list of the little things that bring you joy, and do those things. I’m talking about simple pleasures that cost little or no money. For me, that means riding my bike on a beautiful Sunday morning–in fact, I’m heading out to do that in a few minutes. Another thing I love is listening to live music–almost any kind of live music. One night I’ll go to the symphony (by myself!), and the next I’ll go with friends to hear a gritty rock or blues band in a crowded pub. Because of his unconditional love and excitement over going for walks, my dog also brings me joy.
Call your friends, have lunch with them, exercise, and look inside yourself. The strength to get through this is there, and you will learn much from it.
All human wisdom and experience can be summed up in four words: This too shall pass.
It will get better. You will get through this. You’re going to be fine.
Feel what you’re feeling, but don’t think that it’s the way you’ll feel forever.
This year of mine still amazes me. It began with me in a job about to end, and having spent months looking for a new one, only to give up. Then I talk to an old friend who gives me a lead, and within days I have a new, better job. Then a week later a girl I thought I’d never hear from, emails me. So begins a wonderful relationship (now sadly over).
The point being that life can change/turn around so quickly. Sometime the change is great, other times terrible.
Right now I am bored with it all. I hope to have another positive upswing.
I got a massive meltdown in life when I was 26 (and it was just last year). A ‘best friend’ of mine also just take off, never wanting to see me again. The thing is that certain events would cause the hyperventilation and irrational thinking to return if you have depression. If you were seeing a doctor I suggest going back for some medical care and most importantly, support from friends/relatives/parents, because depression can make it hard for you to get over things.
During that time, I was crying every day (that’s a big thing for a guy. Sissy me just suddenly teared up on the bus for no reason) , couldn’t breath or even get any decent work done but I got to see who my real friends really are, found new one, learned to handle relationship better etc. I’m not over the clouds or totally reborn, but life is bearable once more. I’m quit sure I would be able to take the next hit better.
Life changes; it’s full of departures and coming. This is one thing which I have to learn to get used to.
Life is a challenge, ajb. We all have things we have to go through.
I’m out of work again–the place closed due to this economy. I’ve been laid off before and thought I was done with that stuff. I’m too old (just turned 60) to go through this again. Sigh… But the other lay offs and things I’ve gone through have taught me that I’ll always be taken care of and I’ll get through this too. I’ll make it to the other side. It might not be on my timetable but everything will work out.
Things can turn on a dime. Good and bad. Just try to go with it. Do the things you like when you can that also bring you peace. It’s drawing, reading and movies I escape to. And friends. Don’t forget the good friends…
One thing that age teaches you is how true this is. The good stuff doesn’t last forever, and neither does the bad stuff - life just cycles (or you could look at it like a roller coaster - up and down and up and down, etc., etc.). The other thing age teaches you is patience (one of my toughest lessons to learn) - you want what you want when you want it, but life just doesn’t work that way, and all you can do is roll with it.
Don’t worry that your problem isn’t as big as other people’s problems - it’s big to YOU. There’s a line in Desiderata that I love - “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” Your problems are as valid as anyone else’s.
Sounds more like an affair of the heart. Time will heal. It always does. You are right in that this is trivial when compared (as you can read on this message board) to people who are scraping by because of the sucky economy or serious illness or other calamity. So it’s all a matter of perspective.
Yeah, it does get better. You have to put in some effort, it’s not free, but it does get better.
Friend, it gets better. Trust me. I’m 45 years old but a bit more then 20 years ago I was where you are kind of. My mother, my sister and my grandmother all died within 16 months of each other. It seemed like all of my true friends were gone and I woke up every day thinking “Why bother? Nothing but loneliness and pain awaits me.”.
Thats only true if you let it be true. I went through some really bad times…heck, I’m in a rough patch now. But life…well, I’ve made a lot of friends, seen a lot of things and had a fair amount of fun along with those times when all seems dark.
You lost a friend. That sucks. But there are many more friends in your future. You just have to meet them. I lost a good friend at your age over a girl. I still miss the guy. Its complicated but all of us involved were wrong I think. Thats hindsight talking, at the time we all thought we were right.
2 of my best friends ever are people I thought I would never be friends with. One guy I HATED in High School…but after I got to know him a bit he ended up being one of the best friends I’ve ever had.
Don’t give up, and pick yourself up. You’re young. You have a lot of time ahead of you. Make the best of it. 20 years from now you’ll want to be 20 something again. Don’t let this setback ruin that for you.
Thank you everyone! After her text messages tonight, I’m starting to think I am the one who is actually better off. She even died her hair pink! (parts of it). Oh well, people have to fall before they can pick themselves up or let others and sadly I think she’s falling far. As for me, I like standing on my two feet :). Thanks again everyone!