Hope this hasn’t been done before, or at least hasn’t been done for awhile. But I’ve been having a lot of fun in C.S. these days, so I thought try to contribute.
Kirk: OK, Bones, go ahead and treat him. But we’re beaming up right now and warping the hell outta here.
Probst: Hiedi and Jenna. You are two spoiled-ass bitches!
Jack Bauer: Shoot him again, Kim!!
Oh, wait. JB did say that last one! Damn, he’s good… How about:
J.B.: Kim, go feed yourself to a mountain lion.
Tonto: Kiss my ass, Lone Ranger.
Worf to his son: It is nice to be liked by your little friends, but it is more honorable to be feared by them.
Worf: “Sir, I request permission to beam Ensign Crusher into a wall.”
Xander: I sure am glad Buffy killed that guy Spike way back when he attacked our school in junior year and he stayed dead forever.
Willow: I know! Who knows how annoying he could have gotten.
Gandalf: “Don’t just stand there gawking , you fools! Pull me up, this Balrog is heavy!”
Picard: Oh F*** the Prime Directive
Worf (walks onto the bridge, pulls a phaser and shoots random crewman) Good it is still fully charged.
Riker: Couldn’t you have just looked at the readout?
Worf: It could have been (pause) inaccurate
Johnny Bravo: “Enough about me. Let’s talk about you.” (this, of course, leads to the J-man finally getting laid)
Picard: Number one, take Mr. Data, Commander Worf and Ensign Phelps down to the Dangerous Planet.
Redshirt Phelps: "Oh, hell no, old man!
Kirk: “Spock, Bones, you’re with me. Redshirt, go behind that big rock.”
Redshirt: “Sir, I have to pee really, really bad.”
Conan: I won’t be back.
Terminator: I won’t be back.
Cop With German Accent: I won’t be back.
Super-Commando With German Accent: I won’t be back.
(I guess I’m just tired of the guy)
Victor: Rick, we’re both men of the world, and Ilsa’s been around a bit – threesome?
Morpheus: good driving girl!
Niobe: cheers.
instead of the drivel they spouted at each other about things changing and staying the same that made no sense.
Skeletor: help me up He-man, from falling off this cliff. I’m sorry for all my bad deeeds etc
He-man: Bollocks you are (STAB!)
Fuck no, pervert! I’m a GUY!
Sam: Fuck you, Rick. Play it yourself.
Counselor Troi: “Captain, I am sensing irritation, annoyance…and illness.”
Captain Picard: “That’d be coming from me; you are such a bad actress you make me want to vomit!”
Jay Leno: "So what is your decision on running Ahh-nold??
Schwarzenegger: "Of course I’m not running for governor of California! I have only a rudimentary understanding of the political process; I have no strong opinion on any issue; and no experience whatsoever in governmental administration! I’d be completely out of my depths! The American people need serious candidates; not egotistical movie stars with too much money to throw around!
Xander: Perhaps Willow can perform a spell to ressurect Buffy, who just died yesterday defeating Glory?
Willow: I could, but…what if our future adventures with a ressurected Buffy really suck, and tarnish the memory of previous adventures we’ve already had with her?
Xander: You’re right, better leave well enough alone. Buffy ought to stay dead. At least this way, she went out in a blaze of glory (no pun intended) instead of sputtering out lamely.
Jack: Move the hell over, Rose- I’m freezing my biscuits off in this water!
Tiny Tim: “And God bless us, every one.”
Bob Crachett: “Shut the fuck up before I smack you with that crutch.”
Antoninus: “I love you, Spartacus.”
Spartacus: “How you doin?”
Right after the Enterprise crashed on that planet
Riker: I always thought I’d have that chair someday.
Picard: (Handing him the splintered chair) Here, take it.
Forrest: Is he smart or is he d-…d-…
Jenny: Actually, he sees dead people.
Oldie but goody:
Mulder: Freeze! FBI! Drop the sword, MacLeod, we need to talk…