What’s this mean?
Nothing.
Generally I’ve heard it applied to lesbians who appear very ultra feminine. But I don’t have my finger on the pulse of these things.
Marc
I usually heard it used to describe tough non-feminine looking lesbians who are trying to look feminine.
A lipstick lesbian is a girly-looking lesbian.
In the post-Stonewall era (1969 and after), it was common for “out” lesbians to reject the traditional accoutrements–makeup, dresses, high heels–of heterosexual women. Many lesbians tended to look somewhat androgynous. The stereotypical look of short hair, jeans, and boots was really fairly common. Even among lesbians who did have more traditionally “feminine” hairstyles and wardrobes, the tendency was toward clothing that was more comfortable, less artificial–in other words, these women did not dress in the ways that men commonly seem to be attracted to, with highly styled and/or dyed hair, lots of makeup, tight, low-cut dresses, and high heels. There was no need to dress to impress men, because they did not want to impress men, and such looks were pretty unpopular within the lesbian culture. In other words, it was unfashionable to be fashionable.
Sometime in the 1990s, though, some lesbians, especially those who came of age in the '80s and early '90s started dressing up. To those younger women, there was less “baggage” attached to the more traditionally feminine style of dress. Among older lesbians, rejection of girly looks went with rejection of male-dominated culture. Younger lesbians were able to enter an existant lesbian world, they did not have to create it themselves. They did not have to consciously reject traditionally feminine looks, becuase as they were growing up, there were alternate role models.
These young women embraced more feminine clothes and looks. They enjoyed wearing makeup, heels, and dresses. They dressed in ways that men found attractive. (But by this point, many women found this look attractive, too.) Some within the lesbian community considered this somewhat traitorous, because for so long rejection of “male standards of beauty” was the coin of the realm. Hence, the term “lipstick lesbian” arose. It was at first somewhat derogatory. Now, it is used more as a descriptive–of a lesbian who does not dress in the stereotypically androgynous way.
Green Bean is correct.
Sort of…Actually, ripped right from the net at a beautiful site http://belladonna.org/lipsticklesbian.html:
“The terms “Lipstick Lesbian” and “femme” can be used interchangeably. However, most properly, a “Lipstick Lesbian” is a
feminine woman who loves other feminine women…”
You know, I have never heard that. As far as I’ve known, it’s always been the butch/femme thing, and for those who hold strict to that, there’s a lot of social stigma attatched to preferring “one of your own.” (ie, there’s a part of Stone Butch Blues where one character consideres another butch character a freak for wanting to date other butches.)
Go figure… anyone else heard of that?
No, “lipstick lesbian” and “femme” can not be used interchangeably. They both refer to lesbians who dress/act in stereotypically feminine ways, but they mean 2 different things:
“Femme” is used when referring to the more feminine half of a butch/femme lesbian relationship. (Or a person seeking such a relationship.) Not all lesbian relationships are butch/femme, contrary to common belief.
The butch/femme thing was common among working-class lesbians in the pre-Stonewall era. Upper-class and/or highly educated lesbians in this era were more likely to have a typical “womanly” aspect, but not an exaggerated feminine look like a femme. In other words, in a butch/femme relationship, the “butch” might wear severely tailored clothes or outright men’s clothes, while the “femme” might wear flowery dresses. This situation where one partner plays the “man” and the other the “woman” often extended into the day-to-day lives of the women, with the butch playing the breadwinner/head-of-household role, and the femme playing the housewife.
In the post-Stonewall era, as I discussed above, it was very common for lesbians of all backgrounds to reject overtly feminine clothes of all types. Instead of butch/femme relationships, it became common to see pairings of 2 somewhat androgynous women.
At this point, lesbians are less likely to hew to either model, adopting neither the butch/femme relationship nor the very “androgynous” relationship/style. There were and are still plently of cases of some lesbians taking on a very “manly” aspect and seeking women with a very “feminine” aspect, and vice versa. But at this point, overt butch/femme relationships are not very common (outside of some sub-groubs, like the d&s community.)
See my above post for an explanation of “lipstick lesbian.”
andygirl, here is yet another site & it says:
LIPSTICK LESBIAN: See femme.
(http://www.chickpages.com/worldbeat/spectrumc2/lipsticklsbn.html)
Thus, despite what GB says, so far two web sites agree they are interchangeable.
The first link just gives me an “url not found” notice. The second one takes me to a page that just says “Lipstick Lesbian. see femme.”
You’ve gotta come up with better cites than that.
Oh my goodness. Ive never personally heard of that, but how sick. You’d think anyone who knows what its like to deviate from social standards would have a little more compassion than to call a girl a freak for wanting to date a girl with the wrong hairstyle/clothing.
Try as we might, we’ll never eliminate ostracizing.
Having lived with a lesbian for over a year (And one who brought a lovely parade of gay women in and out of our house at that), Ive noticed that femme is the term for a woman who takes a more submissive/nurturing role in the relationship (i.e. NOT the one who kills the cockroach in the bathroom)the softer side of lesbianism. Whereas, a lipstick lesbian is generally a derogatory term for someone who the lesbian community has decided isnt “really a lesbian”. Girls who seem straight in all ways but one. =) I think those are generally just new lesbians. Exhibit A (My ex roomie) shows that after 6 mos to a year of dating only women, theres a good chance of giving your dresses to the good will, throwing your pantyhose away and chopping your hair to a more comfortable length. My ex-roomate is still the “femme” in her current relationship, even though her hair is shorter than my boyfriends and her wardrobe consists of baggy jeans, t-shirts and sneakers.
I’m a lesbian - of the lipstick variety - and I’ll be damned if 99% of the lesbians out there aren’t sporting mullet haircuts and have their wallet attached to their belt.
Either way, there’s one thing lipstick lesbians are, without a doubt. RARE. Send 'em my way. 
JunrGatr
Sorry GB, there was a colon on that URL, so try again, I love that site.
http://belladonna.org/lipsticklesbian.html
I could find for you more URLS but I have to wade thru all those porno sites. So, you think those lesbians in Hustler & Pentouse qualify as “Lipstick Lesbians”?
You lurking AWB?
Indeed, handy. A very interesting site. I must explore more…
DAMMIT!
The link to erotica on that site is broken!!
=)
All I can say is, when the responses to a question on lesbian terminology include at least three lesbians, and they all agree on the meaning, I’m sure not going to try to argue with them. They probably know at least as much about the matter as does the author of any given website.
Hands-on experience, as it were. <snerk>
It should be noted that definitions evolve over time. With queer theory and gender theory being in vogue, definitions are being quibbled with on a regular basis.
I can dress in a skirt for a day; that is, “go femme.” Doesn’t mean I’m lipstick. In my experience, those who adhere to lipstick/butch duality do it on an everyday basis- it’s just the way that they express themselves.
Closest I got to being a lipstick lesbian was once when I put on a dress & some lipstick to surprise someone special.
never thought a guy could be a lipstick lesbian, did ya Chronos?