Literary obfuscation game

The goal here is to write in your most flowery prose, something that amounts to a simple statement, but which is hidden beneath a thicket of verbage. In other words, the goal is to write poorly and verbosely. Then, the next poster decodes what you’ve said and writes one of their own.

Example:

His center of gravity shifted, causing a collapse of his own mass vis a vis that of the floor beneath him, which buffeted the brunt of his weight by absorbing sufficient energy as to render him positionally horizontal in an awkward and sudden crash.

Answer:

He fell down.

Okay, here we go:

================================

The atmosphere dampened, resulting in random condensations around minute pariticulates, each of which danced like fairies in the updrafts until they spun away free — free to swagger here and there like tiny feathers of dew until they fell as heavy droplets upon the bosom of a grateful earth.

Sounds like it rained to me.
Lemme try.

She, while silently admitting to herself the wholey probable likelihood of gross overconsumption, applied the stiffly starched linen square to her facial orifice, positioned her lower extremities in the ambulatory mode, attached her portable personal belongings carrier to her shoulder, and effected her egress.

Why this game is in Cafe Society rather than almost anywhere else is beyond me. It’s not really about art/entertainment, per se, is it? So off it goes to IMHO.

She overate, wiped her mouth, grabbed her bag, and walked away, non?

Gravid, the felicitous feline fell mewling to her hunkers, and finally decanted the fruit of her over-extended ovaries which fell forth, puling and puking in a unseeing miasma.

The cat had kittens.

The authority figure, upon fierce internal struggle and deep analysis, weighed carefully the points in favor and the points against whether the storied old member had erred in his judgment with respect to the proper placement protocol, and with a quiet tactile stimulation of his pointing device, effected a manipulation the result of which was a new placement, a better placement, a placement that a thoughtful man would have considered first had he a brain the size of even a pea.

She had kittens.

I shall cede my collocation in the concatenation of those partaking in this particular divertissement and vouchsafe another the opportunity to bloviate in my stead.

Mod moved your thread.

You’ll skip your turn and let some other lucky bastard take a stab at it!
Unfortunately, I’m dry.

(sorry)

Anyone else?

Well, in the hopes of keeping it going…

I can discern a sensation, fleeting in nature, periodic in essence, as though a tiny imp with a feather were tickling a small spot on the bridge of my olfactory organ, such a miniscule circumstance causing me to manifest a most insistent compulsion to take the tip of my finger to it and scrape my nail across it, were I not in the polite company of others.

Look out! I’m gonna SNEEEEEEEEEZE!!!

I wish to defer to the subsequent participant, as the neurons in the section of my cerebrum which governs the creative thought processes, is malfunctioning at this time.

[hijack]Why was this moved to IMHO? If anything, I think it belongs in MPSIMS. Isn’t that where most game threads end up?[/hijack]

I agree.

I’m too stupid - you try.

The ultimate distribution mangaer of printed current affairs media inserted the bundle of inked processed wood pulp through the rectangular orifice situated centrally in the street-facing portal of the residence.

I agree. Moving thread from IMHO to MPSIMS.

And don’t call me jack.

But, came the tacking of phalanges upon a plastic and metal tool, 'tis not the expression of personal viewpoints.

Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS.

The mailman delivered the newspaper. (Why a mailman is delivering a newspaper, I have no idea, but there you are.)

The alternating compressions and rarifications of the continuously whirling and mostly vacuous soup of simple chemical compositions issued forth from the cranially-located, ingestionally- and aerationally-inclined maw of the collection of hydrogen, oxygen, and carbon atoms situated on the elevated wooden platform from which extended out an array of cushioned seating apparatus.

The auditory nerve attached to her cochlea was receiving input via vibrations on a sonar wavelength, transmitted through the ear canal, from a tiny miniaturized receiver implanted into the cavity of her external ear; this was attached, by means of an extensive, pendulant plastic fiber, to an agglomeration of electronic synapses and wired circuitry and digitally rendered, pixelated visual-audio output, insulated firmly in a resplendent aluminum-steel alloy and manufactured by a major company with an apple adopted as its iconic insignia.

She listened to her iPod

a pleasing, low frequency rumbling auditory output emitted from the carbon based life form, a pelage enveloped quadraped with a predilictation for muradae and piscis

Aw, pussycat is purring!

time turns not upon itself, and, having shot my bolt, do so move on …