Kinda a cheat, but the “pilot” episode (not the original pilot, but it’s what Fox made 'em run first. And it’s not the greatest.) of Firefly, “The Train Job.”
Not even a full sentance. Just one word.
Truly, Madly, Deeply
I really like this movie, so the following line didn’t “make it” for me, but it’s one of the sexiest lines ever spoken, by one of the sexiest acting voices around…
After Juliet Stevenson’s character complains that the lips of her dead-husband-come-back-as-ghost are cold
[Juliet Stevenson] What are you doing?
[Alan Rickman] Warming my lips.
Oh, to DIE for! (no pun intended!)
Maybe this is the other half, because I don’t have my copy handy either, but I think he says. “I’m Chairman of the Board. I have nothing BUT time.”
Of course, those lines (both great) hardly salvage CK from being a terrible movie.
Yeah, but what about the girl with the glove?
I love the part where the girl is describing the female werewolf to the police - fat thighs, big butt, etc - and the werewolf jumps out to give her the finger. That had me rolling.
“A fellow can remember a lot of things you wouldn’t think he’d remember. You take me. One day back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry. And as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in. And on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn’t see me at all. But I’ll bet a month hasn’t gone by since that I hadn’t thought of that girl.”
That’s from http://www.filmsite.org/citi3.html, which has a lot of other quotes, including the correct version of the “nothing BUT time” one.
It’s odd but you’ve picked my two favorite quotes from a movie full of them.
From Almost Famous (at the house of a teenage fan who recognized Russell and asked him if he’d like to hang out with some kids. Russell has just quit Stillwater and is on an all-night bender):
William watches as Russell slugs from a Jack Daniels bottle.
They sit in the bedroom of a mindblown fan, 17 year-old AARON.
He has long frizzy brown hair, tied in a spray behind him.
Many from the neighborhood are now pouring into the home.
RUSSELL
(eyes glowing)
You. Aaron. Are what it's all about.
You are real. Your room is real.
Your friends are real. You are more
important than... than... all the silly
machinery. And you know it! In eleven
years it's gonna be 1984, man. Think
about that!
AARON
Wanna see me feed a mouse to my snake?
RUSSELL
Yes.From Cat on a Hot Tin Roof:
Big Daddy to Brick: There ain’t nothin’ more powerful than the odor of mendacity.
My favorite line ever was delivered by an inconsequential character in a bar in the spectacularly mediocre dystopian sci-fi flick Freejack:
Cracks me up every time.
thankyouthankyouthankyyou.
Among my friends from high school, the line by the Italian guy (what’s his name?), “We could kill EVERYONE!” from The Boondock Saints is enough to make any one of us have a coniption. I’ve only seen the movie once, and have no real desire to see it again, but that line is delivered perfectly.
Ah! Spongebob!
I don’t remember the exact wording, but Spongebob and Patrick have left town for some reason, and they have a campfire. Spongebob wonders aloud, “If we’re underwater, how can–” WHOOSH! The fire goes out. A few minutes later, it re-ignites without warning, and Patrick says, “Hey! The fire’s back.” Spongebob just sort of blinks.
Also,
Squidward: What was that thing that Spongebob said?
Spongebob in thought bubble: Licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.
Squidward: No, the other thing!
The one I was going to put is Eternal Sunshine. I guess it’s sort of a spoiler. C: This is it, Joel. It’s gonna be gone soon.
J: I know.
C: What do we do?
J: … Enjoy it. teardrop
The line that elevated *Spiderman II * from very good to excellent:
“I will *not * die a monster!”
One of my favorite lines comes from the movie Silverado. Yeah, it’s a corny western flick, but I love it anyhow!
But anyway, there’s a scene where the Bad Guys are beating up Scott Glenn (by riding a horse over the top of him). Suddenly there’s a gunshot and big bad Danny Glover says, “Now, I don’t wanna kill you, and you don’t wanna be dead.”
One from Quigley Down Under that I get a kick out of: Quigley and Cora have just been dumped out in the middle of nowhere with no water or supplies (and Quigley’s had the crap beat out of him, too). Cora looks up at him and tells him, " Don’t worry, on a new job it’s quite common for things not to go well at first."
From MST3K, The Movie: “Give Uncle Scrotor a hug!”
“Fuck me, He cleared it” That line was so out of the blue for that movie nearly made it tolerable.
Someone mentioned Titan AE that movie always makes me sad…not for the destruction of earth or anything else that happens in it only that they so obviously tried to make it cool and failed so totally. I loved nearly every line from Gune in that movie “Do you know what this is? Neither do I. I made it in my sleep. I made it out of ‘somethingsomething’ VERY unstable. I put a button on it. I want to press it, yes. But I don’t know what will happen if I DO!” the few people I’ve seen that movie with always love that line as much as me.
The last five minutes or so of the otherwise execrable film, Cool World, were a crazy montage of the cartoon world mixing with the real world. At the end, you have the cartoonist-turned-cartoon hero trapped in a pocket dimension with the villain of the piece, Holli Would. He’s bouncing around the landscape, talking about the loving home they’ll build together, and at one point, he’s saying, “…and I’ll CONTINUE to FIGHT EVIL over here…” It almost saved the flick for me.
Holli’s last line, “Pencil-dick,” was also almost redeeming.
In whatever Muppet movie had them going to England, when they were dropped from the plane in cargo crates, the fact that Gonzo’s was labeled “whatever” cracked me up. Also the exchange between a truck driver and Oscar the Grouch:
Driver: What are YOU doing here?
Oscar: A very short cameo.
Driver (Peter Ustinov): Me too.
Upside of Anger, meh movie. karen Allen is hitting the bottle pretty good in this one. She walks into the brunch with her family and soon to be in-law family, pulls aside a waiter before sitting down and says “get me a bloody mary as fast as humanly possible.”
Opposite of Sex, ok movie. Starts out with a voice-over of Christina Ricci…"My mother was the kind of mother who always said she was her daughter’s best friend. Whenever she did, I thought, “Great, not only do I have a shitty mother, but my best friend’s a loser bitch.”
Any and all Brick lines saved Anchorman for me, and the whole “You know how I know you’re gay?” thing was the redeeming factor for The 40-Year Old Virgin.
“You’re pretty funny for a guy with nine fingers.”