‘Sometimes my wife forgets that she isn’t a space alien.’ - The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra
Every single line of dialogue in Lost Skeleton is classic, though.
“Well, I suppose in my time I’ve seen a bear do even some things a bear wouldn’t do.”
and the following line: “i’m strangely comfortable with that.”
Nobody has mentioned Showgirls??!!
There are a million of them, but the best is:
Before that line, I thought I was watching the worst movie of all time. After, I realized it was high comedy. Now, every line in that film is hilarious.
vaderspal, welcome to the SDMB. As a denizen of Cafe Society, there’s something we should let you know about Showgirls…
From Star Trek: Nemesis:
“Data, shut up.”
I always have this impression of him leaning towards Riker and saying, “I’ve wanted to say that for years.”
Okay, that one was kind of funny.
So, I’m picky about dialogue. I hated wasted lines, stupid lines, the stupid empty shit characters say just to have something to say there, like: “Let’s go.” So we could debate whether* Reservoir Dogs* is a legitimate masterpiece on its own terms or whatnot all day, but when Joe says “All right, ramblers, let’s get ramblin’”, instead of “Let’s go” or “Let’s get going” or “Let’s roll” or - heads should roll - “Let’s get this show on the road”, I love that. Maybe it’s schticky, but what the hell.
There’s a romantic sports comedy called The Cutting Edge that I would happily go to bat for, despite the fact that most romance and most sports flicks leave me cold. It’s not perfect, but…Moira Kelly juggles bitchy, witty, intense, petulant, charming, and a range of temperatures from freezing to steaming hot without batting a lash, and even dumb, pretty lug D.B. Sweeney has moments of real warmth and clarity. Sorry, I sound like I’m selling the veal.
The point is, I love it in part because there’s little BS in the script. It starts with a “Meet Cute” (thanks Ebert) for crying out loud, but one of my favorites, and here’s one example of the kind of lines it’s full of: Both are late for their Olympic games, running through the hallways at top speed as the music above them swells. They collide; he knocks her to her ass, she curses him, and he says, nastily, “Honey, where I’m from we stand for the National Anthem.”
Later, when her fiancee, in one of those (all too rare, these days) moments where some character advances the plot by being moderately observant instead of incredibly, unbelievably stupid, declares, “Foreplay” as he figures out why she keeps fighting with her skating partner, that’s the perfect line for the moment.
But the context is what sells both of these moments. I used to be more impressed with individual, well-crafted lines than I am now. Now I look for lines used like pillars, and beams, perhaps decorative but always functional, informing us in some small way about someone, or something, essential to the film.
I’ve never seen Boondock Saints - though everyone should see the documentary about its making, Overnight - but I bet I wouldn’t like it, and that ten years ago I would have loved it. This is not a comment on the maturity of people who like it, just my own changing tastes. I could be wrong, of course. I’ll check it out sometime and see.
“I have come to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I’m all outta gum.”
Pretty much all of They Live, actually.
From Elizabeth
Walsingham: Your Grace must go with these men to the Tower.
Norfolk: I *must *do nothing by your order. I am Norfolk!
Walsingham: You *were *Norfolk. The dead have no titles.
There was another good line from another of the Muppet’s movies (they all run together, can’t remember which one) from Diana Rigg.
Kermit: Why are you telling us all of this?
Diana Rigg: It’s all plot exposition and character development; it has to go somewhere.
“He was aquitted but karmically convicted. He died of a heart attack right after.” from Zero Effect.
There are so many lines from Firefly, but the one that convinced me I love that show is, “use of a s-what?”
Two of my other favourite lines (Elizabeth was a great movie):
The way Cate Blanchett delivers “Then let them sign it… and let it all be done”, in that cold, hard voice, is chilling.
When she meets the Duke of Anjou in his quarters and he’s wearing a dress, her deadpan, almost-unable-to-keep-a-straight-face recital of “Although my affections for you remain undiminished, after an agonizing struggle I have decided to put the interests of my people ahead of my affections” (or something like that) is brilliant.
It’s more in the delivery than in the dialogue, but they’re fantastic lines. You have to see the movie to get them.
I thought it was “You’re pretty funny for a guy taped to a chair”.
Assuming we’re talking about the same movie, of course.
-Joe
I really wasn’t expecting a mention of Sliding Doors, or even thinking about it, but you’re right. That is an amazing final line.
Also from that movie: “I’m your friend, mate! I’m here to help you!”
Just remembered this bit from Kindergarten Cop:
[Crisp’s mother is buying a heap of pediatric medication]
Cullen Crisp: The boy’s not sick.
Eleanor Crisp: Doesn’t hurt to take precautions.
Cullen Crisp: Mother, you are going to make him sick. You stuffed all this crap down my throat for years, and there was nothing wrong with me!
Eleanor Crisp: That’s why there was nothing wrong with you.
Cullen Crisp: …Now, how can you argue with that?
I don’t remember the direct quote but…
At the start of Fight Club Tyler asks if the Narrator has anything to say. He says “I can’t think of anything”.
At the end of the movie they work the same scene again but this time the Narrator says “I still can’t think of anything.” Tyler says “Oh, flashback humour. Very funny.”
I also loved “If I had a tumor I’d name it Marla.”
There are a ton of great little lines in the movie Evolution but the one that cracks me up everytime is when Harry freaks out because the alien fly got in his solid gold dancer enviro-suit. Ira is attempting to calm him down.
Ira: It’s ok. It’s ok. Who’s the man?
Harry: You’re the man.
Ira: No… YOU’RE the man.
Harry: I’m the man.
It doesn’t read very funny, but the delivery is comic gold.
Of course almost ALL of Ghostbusters has great lines. My personal favourites are:
Ray: Listen! Do you smell something?
and
Ray: Where do these stairs go?
Peter: They go up.
As far as lines that saved movies, Star Wars III has a single brilliant line that stands out amid the rest of Lucas’s dialogue:
Padme: “So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.”
Also, Police Academy is playing right now, and although it has a lot of giggle-worthy lines, my favorite is easy:
Mahoney: “…I’m trapped here?”
Commandant Lasaard: “Oh yes. We all are.”
Er… 
Sorry, n00b here, you’re gonna have to explain that one to me.
Even mentioning Showgirls in a thread is enough to kick off several pages of heated discussion over whether it’s a masterpiece of satire or a minorpiece of s**t.
And for heaven’s sake, don’t bring up Starship Troopers!!! 
There was a really lousy horror movie called Gator, which involves a giant, mutant gator roaming around a small Florida town eating anybody. The thing hid out in the sewers. Police scoping the situation had this to say:
First cop: How many people have been killed?
Second cop: We’re not sure. We think the first victim was a sewer worker named Ed Norton.
The rest of the film was a complete waste of time, but it was worth for this one line.