How, exactly, are we supposed to put something in the location field under our post count and sign-up date? I’ve poked all around my CP but haven’t found anything yet.

Did you look under “edit profile” in the User CP?

Third box from the bottom: Location “Where you live”

Looks like you didn’t poke hard enough. Poke harder, son!

Go to User CP, click ‘Edit Profile’ on the left, and scroll down to Additional Information. Location should be there, along with Biography, Interests and Occupation.