Longterm Enforced Chastity Anonymous

<standing up, clears throat>

Hello, my name is Greg, and I’ve been enforced chaste for six-and-a-half months. I’ve come here today and admitted my shame in an attempt to give hope and support to all those Dopers who for one reason or another are undergoing a long-term dry spell against their wishes. Did you seethe with jealousy when you read Esprix’s “I’m having so much sex I just don’t know what to do with myself!” thread? Did you read Sofa King’s “No sex for 83 days–I’m gonna burst!” thread and think, “lucky dude”? If so, you might find solace and comfort here at LECA.

Some of us, like me, are separated from spouses. Others live a long way away from their preferred partners. Some of us are between partners. And some just couldn’t get horizontal with another person if there was an earthquake. Believe me, I’ve been there too!

We here at LECA are living proof that you can live with enforced chastity. Oh, we’ve all heard the lies–how your balls will explode; how your uterus will fall out. We’ve heard are friends gloat about their latest conquests. We’ve all held back tears as we read “Where’s the most interesting place you’ve had sex?” threads. But we are strong! <stirring music begins> During our most frustrated hours, we have found a way through it–we find our salvation close at hand! We will survive!

Enforced chaste Dopers, stand up and be counted! You can say, “I am not alone!” Er, we are alone, in a sense, and that’s our problem. But you know what I mean! Join LECA today!

Hmm… if you’re asking us to publicly admit this, how can you call it “Longterm Enforced Chastity Anonymous?”

OK, OK! “Longterm Enforced Chastity Almost-Anonymous”! Only you, me, and 10,500 or so Dopers have to know!

I’ll join.

Do I get a t-shirt?

Oh, in that case…

sure count me in… assuming that I am allowed brief interludes whenever my LDR allows it… :smiley:

That’s just awful!! :wink:

I find it ironic that quietgirl is exactly 499 miles away from me. At least until March…

Sign me up.

BTW, Duke, close at hand? That was filthy. I like you.

Why is that ironic?

And I’ll join. I won’t be having sex for a while and I haven’t had physical sex ever.

Yeah, I’m in…

I’ve been celibate so long, I’m practically a virgin again. :frowning:


Mrs. Spritle’s pregnancy… baby who doesn’t nap during the day and is up every 3 hrs at night… to paraphrase Joan Rivers, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex I forgot who gets tied up!

Add me to the LDR pool. I’m going home this weekend, so there may be a brief respite.

Can I still have my t-shirt?

I don’t even wanna know what the secret “hand shake” is gonna be!

I’m definitely not chaste.

But I have fucked or been fucked in a looooong time either.

I, of course, meant haven’t.


Count me in. I’ve been celibate so long, I don’t really care any more. I don’t, however, want a t-shirt.

Yeah, count me in too. So far, it’s been 3 months with no end in sight. sigh By the time I finally DO again, I’ll probably forget all the skills I learned in my 7 year relationship.

Where’s my T-shirt and wallet card?

I feel like annying people right now: I’ve been celibate for only, let’s see, 43 hours :smiley:

Doesn’t matter, Palmyra, you are a default charter member. :D:D

7 years in August for me.
Will the t shirt say “I just had sex” then, on the back, it says “This is a very old shirt”?

That one gets my vote! Can I have two?

Education &