<standing up, clears throat>
Hello, my name is Greg, and I’ve been enforced chaste for six-and-a-half months. I’ve come here today and admitted my shame in an attempt to give hope and support to all those Dopers who for one reason or another are undergoing a long-term dry spell against their wishes. Did you seethe with jealousy when you read Esprix’s “I’m having so much sex I just don’t know what to do with myself!” thread? Did you read Sofa King’s “No sex for 83 days–I’m gonna burst!” thread and think, “lucky dude”? If so, you might find solace and comfort here at LECA.
Some of us, like me, are separated from spouses. Others live a long way away from their preferred partners. Some of us are between partners. And some just couldn’t get horizontal with another person if there was an earthquake. Believe me, I’ve been there too!
We here at LECA are living proof that you can live with enforced chastity. Oh, we’ve all heard the lies–how your balls will explode; how your uterus will fall out. We’ve heard are friends gloat about their latest conquests. We’ve all held back tears as we read “Where’s the most interesting place you’ve had sex?” threads. But we are strong! <stirring music begins> During our most frustrated hours, we have found a way through it–we find our salvation close at hand! We will survive!
Enforced chaste Dopers, stand up and be counted! You can say, “I am not alone!” Er, we are alone, in a sense, and that’s our problem. But you know what I mean! Join LECA today!