Which is a good thing, because with the price of airfare these days I’ll be flat broke when I make it over! :eek: 
Ooh, can I watch? 
What of those who seem to live in the Shadow? Or those who snark and Spaz about newspaper advise columnists? Then there are the other strange writings of this “tribe” including some kind of sacred “Recipe Blog”? Will we ever find hard evidence of it?
Ok, that’s as good as I can do right now. I gotta get purtified for work. Plus need more caffiene. I’m still sleepy!
Later Y’all!
Also they practiced polygamy. Well, I practice polgamy.
Sort of.
Morning!
Perhaps our intrepid researchers will eventually come to the conclusion that the denizens of this strange place were finally done in by a plague known as “Teh Sick”. Based on contemporary descriptions, they theorize that Teh Sick seems to be caused by a super-bug that combines various characteristics of influenza, the common cold, hayfever and chronic fatigue syndrome.
Further evidence of their frail health and constant sickliness is found in their self-given title of “Mumper”, which is presumed to have been derived from “mumps” a particularly nasty version of Teh Sick which was eradicated by the development of Megacillin in 2042.
Time for work. I’ll be based out of the downtown office today… W00T! Sadly, the weather is yucky and rainy, which will do some good for our sorry excuse for a lawn, but it’s really not doing good things for my hair. Hello frizz. 
On the bright side, transit is running, so I won’t have to walk for 45 minutes in Teh Wet. Definitely a good thing.
vrooooooooooooooooom
Up and caffeinated, see you on page 2 or 3!
Speaking of Teh Sick… okay not actually sick but tired enough to call in and take a day. I did go back to sleep for a bit, or tried. It’s tough to sleep thru[ul]
[li]a sanitation truck rumbling thru[/li][li]a military jet taking off from the small airport that’s only a mile a way[/li][li]a cat who still thinks it’s time for breakfast, even tho she’s been told several times it’s not[/li][li]a second jet[/li][li]the weird new fire siren at the station a half mile away[/li][li]and birds. lots and lots of birds.[/li][/ul]All this between 5:30 and 6:30 this morning. I am now going back to sleep for a while.
No-you practice polyandry, and we’re all jealous.
Am up with sinus headache. Am sure glad the dry creek was done yesterday because it’s raining outside, and about 20 degrees cooler out today. I think I will waste time until class.
MY LAST CLASS OF GRAD SCHOOL, EVAH!!!
Although part of this tale involves a real life, honest-to-Og goat, it was not harmed in any way, nor was there any chocolate, squid, interspecies exchange of bodily fluids, or straws involved at any time.
Saturday, as usual, is Chore Day at the VunderLair. This weekend, additional chores were added to the list, because this was the weekend the neighbors who run the bed and breakfast were going to be away for a long overnight and we were supposed to feed the critters.
They have quite the menagerie: 1 horse, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a small flock of chickens, and the cutest baby goat I’ve seen in about 6 months (the last time I saw a kid). Feeling a bit cheeky, I decided that when I went over for the noonish check, I’d borrow the roto tiller as I’ve asked for many times, and bring the goat back, too, to stake out in the yard for a bit of weed control and a little harmless fun along the lines of “It’s 2 in the afternoon. Do you know where your goat is?” sent their cell phone with a picture that made it blatantly obvious where it was. I was also planning a picture or three for MMP purposes.
I loaded the roto tiller in the back of my truck, and got the goat, whose name is Eagle. The mom is a retreaded hippie turned Bible thumper, and she had Lauren (the daughter) name it after the first thing she saw after it was born, which was naturally, an eagle (although, in my county, it was probably one of the many vultures instead). Cindy is a flake, but a harmless one, and is probably as well suited for rural life as our old dog Maddy.
To make the long story longer, I drove off with tiller and goat in the back of my truck. As I left the yard, Smoky the horse started to raise a ruckus because he and Eagle are the best of buds. I parked the truck, and I could hear Smoky still carrying on, and Eagle started in, too. I’ve been around farm animals, but the list is chickens, pigs, cows, and horses. I’ve had no experience with goats beyond a petting zoo. I never knew they were territorial and DO NOT LIKE being out of their turf.
It took all of five minutes to realize that my well imagined prank was going to be a real dud, and I took Eagle back home. Only I was going to walk it. So was this critter goat, or mule? My quarter mile hike with a goat on a leash was an ordeal, with Eagle alternately trying to run away, dig in and go nowhere, and me carrying the miserable little shit and getting kicked in the process. Them split hooves hurt…
Reuniting Smoky and Eagle was a joy. Two dumb animals looking at each other, with cartoon speech bubbles appearing over their heads containing “There you are!”…
Then I had ambulance duty Saturday night. I read my horoscope as a lark at breakfast, and it said I was going to be quite popular that evening. That’ll larn me to read the damned thing…
I had to leave the station around 6:30 to come back and feed the critters one last time, which happened without incident. When I was headed back to the station, I got my first page of the night, and it was the start of a rough one.
The call was for a guy who had brain cancer, and was unresponsive following a seizure. This was one that while not really bad medically, just load him up and go, he had the same kind of lung cancer my mother had, and he was almost a carbon copy of her case, which was hard on me. After waiting a half hour for someone to ride as my partner, we got to the scene, and transported him without incident.
Deb, my partner, is the same one from the ‘Bob is gay’ tale from last fall, and she really rubbed it in to me about that trip. Not the ‘gay’ part, but the whole childbirth stuff. Deb’s daughter is 17 weeks pregnant, and all I heard Saturday night is that when she goes in to labor, they’re calling me and I’m going to deliver the kid. I mostly went along with it, telling them that I’ll give them my phone number when she hits 8 and a half months, and I know both mom and kid-to-be are both healthy.
So we get back from taking the brain cancer guy to the hospital. I’m mad because the laptop in the ambulance we use to write our reports is missing. I drop Deb off at home, met her preggo daughter, and got back to the station to write my report. The dispatcher calls, telling me that the deputies are at the scene of an assault, and there is a good chance that I’ll be paged soon.
It took 20 minutes. Deb answered right away, and met me at the scene. A girl was hit on the side of her head with a bottle, and the perps tried to drown her in the roadside ditch. Bad enough was that it was a chick fight all around, even worse; I vicariously knew 2 of the three perps. One is the daughter of a rescue squad member I mention frequently, and the other lives next door to the rescue station. I don’t understand all of the motivations behind the attack, but it had something to do with the 3 girls and some guys looking to score some coke from the victim’s boyfriend (an ex-dealer), and the victim grabbing his cell phone to tell them off. They took offense, found her, and beat the shit out of her.
She had 3 lacerations to her face and scalp, with 2 requiring stitches, and a possible concussion. She was caked in mud, and it smelled vaguely of septic tank effluent. She accepted treatment but refused transport in favor of her uncle taking her to the hospital. Fine with us, because we don’t have 2 hours eaten up that way.
My buddy’s daughter has always been a druggie, and a real pain in his ass. He’s talked of sending her to a boot camp to straighten her out; but it sure looks like a trip to the Graybar hotel instead.
No sooner than we got back from the assault call, then comes one from a frequent flyer diabetic, who has quite the reputation for getting mean when she crashes. This call was typical for her. Mean, swingy, won’t do what she’s told. After filling her full of OJ and Pepsi, she comes around, is nice enough to say goodbye, signs the refusal form, and goes away. Overall, it was another easy call, but with some exciting moments where my Tae Kwon Do skills help me avoid taking a punch.
Back to the station, and I sat down on the couch with a laptop commandeered form the out-of-service ambulance to write my reports. It’s roughly midnight, and I just got the database opened to do the diabetic run, when I fall asleep with the computer in my lap. I didn’t even know that it happened until I got another page at 2:30 AM, for an old guy who had extremely high blood pressure.
This time, Deb didn’t answer, but old buddy Eddie did. We picked the guy up, started an IV, and took him to Suffolk. Nothing exciting to report, but I was back from that at 5:30, and my shift was over. Or so I thought.
Felix came in to work the day shift, and I sat down to finish the 3 reports I had outstanding. You guessed it, another page, for a lady with difficulty breathing. I told him I’d been running all night and barely any sleep, so I wasn’t going. Pissed him off, but it was my right. At the third page, I said I’d go, and we went.
This patient had lupus, just like VWife, and I recognized most of the signs of a flare. This one was attacking her lungs, and she was getting congested. I could hear fluid in the bottom as she breathed. Another IV, a nebulizer treatment to clear her lungs, and transport without incident. Well, not quite. I almost ran over a wild turkey. Felix drove back, and I laid down in the back of the unit for a nap.
Finally got home around 8:30, when I was done at 5:00, with 5 logged runs, matching my busiest shift on record. Needless to say, I didn’t accomplish much in the way of household chores yesterday. Well, I did spend a large amount of time inspecting my eyelids for pinholes.
Caffeinated, fed, and working. New Girl starts today - my old payroll/AP lady is leaving and she was replaced by a younger, smarter and shall I say -much better looking version.
It’s ok, I know how to behave.
Really.
Right. I couldn’t remember the word. My vocabulary doesn’t function well before eight.
And seriously, I’ll mail Lazy Husband to anyone who wants him.
Fah! I don’t believe in Mumpers. They were just Internet Legends. Who would believe in talking bears or dogs having servents, for crying out loud? And then Scarey Faeries??? Shaa! What next? :dubious:
Gorgeous weekend hereabouts. Sunny and in the 80s. In fact, the pool is almost 80 degrees. Mr. Anachi and I dangled our feeties. But being spoilt Flawduhians, that’s all we did. Another couple of weeks.
Tahred this morning. For some reason, I couldn’t sleep past 4:30 so I got up and read for a while. Even the treadmill this morning was more of a chore than usual. I must be getting old. Anyone have any puppy-uppers???
Tupug
VBob, why were you inspecting your eyelids for pinholes? 
I am sure there is a joke I’m not getting here.
My weekend was utterly craptastic. Actually, the crapticity started on Thursday and just rolled right on through the weekend. Money problems and lots of manual labor in the Florida sun, which included getting about three pints of blood sucked out of me by mosquitoes. Blech.
Slept through my alarm this morning, so I missed class. The good thing is, it’s the last week of class, so the prof can’t really drop me for absences. I don’t think. The bad thing is, I am supposed to have dinner with this prof and my advisor tonight at some fancy-pants Italian place. My social anxiety is starting to play up about this, so right now I’m feeling twitchier than a ferret on a coke binge.
Going to finish this cup of coffee and then I have to go write papers. I am an Epic Procrastinator.
All this Mumper reminiscing or whatever just made me think… whatever happened to Drae? I know she got a new job, but has anyone seen or heard from her at all? I also haven’t seen **Mika **around here in a looooong time. Or Magic Eyes. And it’s been a while since welby’s put in an appearance. We miss you guys! And rue too, of course!
I went to pajamagram.com this morning to look for a possible Mother’s Day present for Mom, and on the off chance that they had anything, I searched for “flamingo” (my parents have an ongoing flamingo-based joke with their neighbors). It comes back with “Did you mean calming?” Um… what? How do you get “calming” from “flamingo”??
Uh, that would be sleeping.
I think you been whooshed. 
No, thanks. I have one of my own and you all see how well that’s worked out.
Vundie–good on you. That’s quite a shift. I guess Eagle got your goat. <groan>
Ah, my first documented wooshing. Perhaps I should finish my coffee before posting next time.
taxi - I can see how they get calming for flamingo. Calming > claming > flaming > flamingo. I think that all search engines just assume that the user has the typing/spelling skills of a drunken yeti.
Morning! Great OP! Sometimes I have a hard time deciphering the mumpers…I can’t imagine what a future cyberanthropologist might make of it. I do think that there will be such a field of study and the highest skill to achieve will be a black belt in googlefu.
[prissy librarian voice] It’s archeocyberist. Please make a note of it.
Thank you.[/prissy librarian voice]
rigs, YAY YAY YAY!!! (that’s three cheers, in case you’re not sure) How are you planning on celebrating this milestone?
LiLi, there’s a Lazy Husband too? How big is your harem?
Our system upgrades are live as of this morning, and so far everything is looking very very good - it’s pretty cool, actually, to see everything I’ve been working on for the past year finally come together into a cohesive package (not to mention a functional one).
The flipside of that is that I’m bored out of my mind, though, and am also still ridiculously exhausted after yesterday’s early wake-up.
I’ll be napping under my desk if anyone needs me. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Mentions of items, or maybe persons, perhaps entities, such as Noone Special and Special One, further baffle the archaeowebbies. One would assume such entities to be opposites, perhaps even incompatible, yet at times it seems as if they would be one and the same. An archaeologist, Erik von Danobenbenstrechen (a direct descendant of the famous Professor Hans von Danobenbenstrechen who wrote A Small Introduction To The Sexual Mores Of Elephants In Thirteen Volumes And A Prologue) posits that the appearance of such a volume of illogic may bespeak the point at which Teh Sick had spread to its hosts’ braaaaaaains…
Speaking of brains, I’ve had two meetings this morning and I’m zombified. We’ve already got one flat (yay!), which two of the teams’ girls will share; I’ve started the process to get one for myself but these people insist on such archaic tools as “faxes” which, as usual, refuse to work correctly. Or maybe the specs for “fax machine” do include “works like shite.”
We’ve been told that we must learn English, then Scottish and finally Glaswegian. Methinks I’ll stick to speaking Amurkin, for now.