What’s the difference between
a violin and a fiddle?
You don’t spill beer on a violin.
What’s the difference between
a violinist and a fiddler?
About $45,000 a year
YDRC (you don’t remember correctly). The treble clef is the one that centers on G. The clef you are referring to is the C clef, and the middle is centered on middle C. (The bass cleff is an F clef.)
Thanks for the correction - I last played the bassoon about 25 years ago, so wasn’t entirely sure if I had the right note.
What’s the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you cut up the bagpipe.
…between an epileptic corn husker and a hooker with diarrhea?
The epileptic shucks between fits.
…between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?
The woman in church has hope in her soul.
…between a woman having a real orgasm and faking one?
Who cares.
Here is another ‘whats the difference’ joke, but in bad, bad taste.
[SPOILER]
dead baby joke warning…
[SPOILER]
Whats the difference between a dead baby and your girlfriend?
I don’t kiss your girlfriend when we’re done screwing.
I’ve got a few more like it. If there’s enough interest I can post them.
Though they’d probably be better in a ‘dead baby joke’ thread.
[/SPOILER][/SPOILER]
I know, it is horrible.
Still funny though…
What’s the difference between a baby and a train?
A train doesn’t die when I ride it.
A variation:
What’s the difference between a soprano and a seamstress?
A seamstress tuck and frills.
What’s the difference between jam and marmalade?
You can’t marmalade your cock up someones arse.
What’s the difference between Florence and Aix-en-Provence?
There are lots of girls named Florence in Aix-en Provence, but there aren’t any girls named Aix-en-Provence in Florence.
How did I forget that one? That was one of my favorites in high school. We’d rip on our band teacher with that one.
What’s the difference between a blonde and the Panama canal?
One’s a dizzy bitch and the other’s a busy ditch.
What’s the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?
You can’t unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.
One from Celebrity Jeopardy that still makes me laugh:
What’s the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?
One’s a sick duck-- I can’t remember how it ends, but your mother’s a whore.
What’s the difference between an oral & a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
Just read this one:
Q: What’s the difference between a pigeon and an investment banker?
A: A pigeon can still drop a deposit on a Ferrari.