** " He’s breeding an army, he’s crossing Orcs with pants… " **
Freda: Papa says Eothain should not wear those pants! They are too big for him!
(haha, it’s not in the book, you know)
Aragorn: “Get them up.”
Boromir: “Give them some pants, for pity’s sake!”
Aragorn: “By nightfall these pants will be swarming with orcs…”
No Gimli. I would not choose those pants, unless there was no other way.
Faramir: You were a friend to Boromir?
Frodo: Yes… for my pants
Faramir: Are you his bodyguard?
Sam: His pants!
-The Fellowship of the Ring, Introduction: Concerning Pants
-Galadriel: And to you Ringbearer, I give the Pants of Erendil, our favorite pants. May they be pants to you where all other pants fail.
and from the Hobbit:
-*Far over the misty pants so cold,
to pants so deep and pants so old,
we must away, ere pants of day,
to seek our pant’s enchanted gold.
The dwarves of yore made mighty pants,
while pants fell like ringing bells,
in pants deep, where dark things sleep,
in hollow pants beneath the fells.*
-from Chapter 5, Pants in the Dark:
'What have I got in my pants?" Bilbo muttered to himself.
“Not fair!” Gollum complained, “It isn’t fair, my precious, is it, to ask us what it’s got in its nassty little pantses?”
Bilbo had been talking to himself, but Gollum had thought it was a riddle. Having nothing better to ask, Bilbo stuck to his question.
“What have I got in my Pants?” he repeated.
“Sssssss. It must give us three guesseses, my preciouss—three guesseses.”
“Very well! Guess away!”
“Handses!”
“Wrong!” Bilbo said, luckily having just removed them. “Guess again!”
“Sssssss.” Gollum thought of all the things he kept in his own pants: fishbones, goblins’ teeth, wet shells, a bit of bat-wing, a sharpening stone to sharpen his fangs on. He tried to think what other people kept in their pants…
OMG!!! forgive me for the crude paraphrase, I don’t have my copy of the Hobbit handy right now (I left in in my other pants!!! ACK!) I think this is THE funniest thread I have ever seen! Thanks Buckleberry. too much
No prob, Durinsbane! It makes me happy to see so many people enjoying it.
~Ferry
Hmmmm, I should have called chapter 5 of the Hobbit “Riddles in the Pants”
Here’s the chapter listing of the Fellowship of the Pants:
(from memory)
Book I
Intro: Concerning Pants
- A Long Pantsed Party
- A Shadow of the Pants
- Shortpants to Mushrooms
- A Conspiracy Unpantsed
- The Old Pants
- Tom Bombapants
- Fog on the Pants Down
- At The Sign of the Prancing Pants
- A Knife in the Pants
- Flight to the Pants
Book II
- Many Pantsings
- The Council of Pants
- The Pants Go South
- Journey in the Pants
- The Pants of Khazad-dum
- Lostpantsagain
- The Pants of Galadriel
- The Pantsing of the Fellowship
Galadriel: I pass the test. I will remain Galadriel and fade into the pants.
Samwise: Look Mr. Frodo - Olipants! I don’t suppose anyone back home will believe this.
Man of Gondor: If you let them go, then by the laws of Gondor your pants are forfeit.
Faramir: So be it.
Gandalf to the Balrog: I am a servant of the secret pants. You cannot pass. Go back to the pants from whence you came.
Aragorn - This is beyond my skill…he needs Elvish pants.
Gandalf: So do all those, Frodo, who live to see such pants. But the question we must ask ourselves is: What are we going to do with the pants we’ve got?
Do not meddle in the pants of wizards…
‘Pants! Pants!. . .Pants for Theoden King!’
sigh I wish I could play but I’ve not seen the movie.
Candypants for Mongo.
Not having the book handy, they may not be verbatim…
The hospitality of your pants is lessened of late.
I will take the Pants of the Dead!
To swim in your pants is forbidden under penalty of death.
The pants of the fallen were being cast over the walls into the city.
Do not meddle in the affairs of pants for they are subtle and quick to anger.
LOL, that’s so funny! All of your quotes so far have been great 
BTW, I have a friend who wrote a fake rap song a while back called “Gram Cracka” if you’d like to hear it. It’s pretty funny…you can find it at http://artists.mp3s.com/artist_song/613/613431.html
Thanks for brightening my day!
Smeagol (to Gollum): “I hate pants, I hate pants.”
[sub]Homer (to Krusty): “Don’t you hate pants?”[/sub]
Frodo: Bilbo!! Look out for the pants!
Bilbo: Pants?! What pants? There haven’t been any pants in the Shire for over 500 years…