If it’s relevant to the thread, then you say, “Some of my best friends are gay.” If it’s not, then you don’t mention it. It’s not the phrase itself that shows up red in the Sensitivity Filter Monitor all the liberals and homos are issued upon judging the board. People get called on it when people use it as a disclaimer or to rationalize other stuff that they’re saying that’s already made it clear that they’re just covering up overt or subliminal homophobia. It’s all about context.
No, there’s a mob mentality on this board. Just like when you get any other group of a bunch of human beings together. People are more inclined to post in agreement of something they’ve already seen, and then as the discussion goes on, opinions get more and more polarized. It’s how the internet works, it’s how every message board I’ve ever seen since USENET works.
Again, fair enough. I actually think “hive mind” is more gentle. It implies to me that the individuals are not thinking any differently than they would on their own, but that the sum of their thought processes does broader things. With a “mob” mentality, it’s more that people change their own behavioural patterns when they are in a group. Still, I’m not one to argue. Maybe you’re right.
Yep, I was guilty of this. I was just trying to get across the point that while lesbian sex, especially with the idea of me involved in it, repulses me, lesbians don’t. And yes, maybe that makes me a liberal apologist, but it’s so easy to be misunderstood on these boards. I seem to have managed to upset a lot of people the past couple of weeks without even trying.
I’m a heterosexual female, and the idea of having sex with another woman rather turns me off. Not quite “disgust,” but definitely “I’d really, really rather not, thank you.” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that - if I WANTED to have sex with another woman I’d either be bi or lesbian. If you actually are a lesbian, and you want to have sex with another woman, I really, truly, honestly do not care. The idea of lesbian sex in general is not repulsive. The idea of me myself doing things to another woman’s Underpants Coverage Area personally is unattractive to me.
Oddly enough, I understand what you’re saying. As far as porn goes, Gay male sex > lesbian sex > solo sex > straight sex. Either of the first two makes good porn. The last one is dull and off-putting.
Hmm, I can see that, but for me, a large part of it is the women. I have absolutely zero interest in ever having sex with a woman. In fact, I completly understand the straight guys who say that having sex with a guy is oogy to them personally. Where the problem comes is when you take the repugnance to the personal act and apply it to large groups. So for me, while the idea of me and a girl is oogy, the idea of men and women in general is fine. That rearranges my porn continuom to Gay male sex > male solo sex > straight sex > lesbian sex or female solo sex. For some reason, straight porn doesn’t bother me becuase I can always look at the guy. I won’t choose it, but I won’t turn it off.
Swap gay male sex and lesbian sex, and that’s my porn continuum, too. And I actually enjoy heterosexual sex. I just don’t get much out of looking at it. Watching straight people fuck is just… boring.
Look, I’m sorry! But ever since my banjo broke I’ve hit kind of a creative brick wall. And now the wife says the gorilla suit is too hot.:rolleyes: So* I* sez “But* sweetie!*” I sez…
Ah hell, you don’t want to hear all that…
Guilty as charged. But it wasn’t the hetero guilt so much as it was guilt about hurting someone’s feelings that I added my disclaimer. Obviously there is a large gay community on these boards and despite the instructions soliciting heterosexuals to respond, I knew that gay people would read it. And I tried to put myself into their shoes and wonder how I’d feel if poster after poster said that they found my sexual behavior to be repulsive.
So I answered honestly then tried to assuage any hurt feelings by adding in a disclaimer. I’m not a liberal pantywaist but I do strive to be respectful.
This is kind of the entire thesis behind this thread - everyone means well, and tries to be “respectful,” but after overcompensating with an entire litany of hetero-apologetics, you do more damage than if you just said, “Icky!”
What PunditLisa said. I hate the idea of hurting anyone.
See, in the abstract, the idea of being bisexual sounds appealing. Almost like, "hmmm…that’s intriquing!’ Trying to picture it though, in actual detail, is too difficult. For example, I like classic 1930s-40s style pin up art. LOVE those Vargas gals. But for some reason, even though I find them sexy, I don’t want to have SEX with that fantasy girl. I think I just like the style and the fashion. Or I find the idea of myself posing that way arrousing.
Generally speaking, you’re supposed to start with the thesis. Stating your thesis after two pages of discussion is… well, it sounds an awful lot like backpeddling to me. But, whatever. Now that you’ve finally got around to providing a point to this thread, howzabout some evidence to support it? I was sort of with you when I thought you were just annoyed by people who do this. But “damage”? I’m not insulted when people do this, by any means, and I haven’t seen anyone else here who is.
Also, your constant hyperbolizing about “litanies of hetero-apologetics” and every single post having an entire paragraph of them only makes you look ridiculous. We’ve all read the thread in question by now, we know what people were posting in there, and it does not, by and large, bear any resemblence to what you’re complaining about in your OP.
It’s never really struck me as disgusting. On the couple of occasions in my young adulthood when gay men made passes at me, the notion for some reason struck me as… well… funny. As in humorous. I recall that I laughed. Not at them. Just at it. Didn’t help much, though. Both times, they thought the chuckling was endearing. I was drinking at the time. Might have had some bearing.
Nowadays, I see it in a very different way overall. It has ethical and moral aspects now. I look at it like anything else: by and large, they’re just peaceful honest people pursuing their own happiness in their own way. And some of them are in love. There’s no substantive ethical or moral difference between homosexuality and heterosexuality.
Maybe it’s the contrarian queer in me, but I don’t really see the problem in hetero folks finding gay sex offputting. I feel the same way about watersports–ick! Doesn’t mean that I don’t like people who engage in piss play, doesn’t mean I do not support their civil equality–I’m just skeeved out by it.
Of course, hetero guys are going to find getting their asses pounded by a hairy muscle stud distasteful–hello, they’re hetero! While I applaud that the SDMB supports civility and politeness to sexual minorities, hetero boys don’t have to apologize to me for not finding gay sex an enthralling prospect, although I do like to console myself that the straight boys think to themselves, “Such a pity Gobear’s a guy cause if he were a chick I’d so do him.”
Anyway, to summarize, it seems that, yes, it’s okay to be turned off by gay sex, and to say so, even. The only caveat would be that it’s probably rude to go on and on about OMG it’s SOOO GROSS, much the same way that it would be to go on and on about how OMG asparagus is SOOO GROSS to someone you know loves it, or to use your distaste for it as the basis for homophobia (neither of which were the case in the other thread.)
