My roomate works at a gas station. He says poor black people come in dressed up in $200 shoes with expensive cell phones holstered and bluetooth headsets and buy the cheapest prepaid card they can. Think about that. Someone with a bluetooth headphone to help steamline all the hundreds of calls they must be receiving has a pre-paid cellphone. The headset is functionally useless.
Believe it or not, the cell phone has become a status symbol for quite a lot of people. It’s absurd to me, too, but I think we’re becoming the minority on this viewpoint.
I’m a tall, thin, dashingly handsome man (5’8", 200 pounds) with a full luxurious head of hair (in the front, I’ve no idea what might be happening on the top or back. Although my head does tend to get sore when I’ve been in the sun too long, I can’t imagine my raging masculinity would allow any thinning. As a result, I certainly wouldn’t stoop to a “combover”).
My question - are Hawaiian shirts a suitable replacement for the photographers vest that many concealed weapons carriers believe are so unnoticeable?
And
ETA - and also, how did pressing “alt - caps lock” post this before I was done?
neorxnawange: Ordinarily I’d agree with you, but trying to figure out how to spell your screen name has exhausted me, so I’m dismissing your opinion out of hand.
scout1222: Tell the truth, now … you lust madly after this guy, don’t you? Your uterus screams to have his babies. I can tell.
Forumbot: I’m both amused and disturbed by your link. Either you already had this bookmarked, or you went to YouTube and searched for “intricately styled combover.” Neither of these options speaks highly of you, frankly. Thank God you’re participating in this thread, so your cool factor won’t suffer too much.
BobtheOptimist: Hawaiian shirts are fast becoming the new white-dinner-jacket tuxedo. I believe you’ll see them cropping up in all sorts of formal settings, including funerals, dinners with the in-laws, and hospital birthing rooms. Because of this, any guns concealed underneath them should be pearl-handled (including Mac-10s).
Eleanor of Aquitaine: Not many men, even those in a cultural epicenter like Birmingham, can pull off the white belt with aplomb.
I do, and I’ve never seen anybody dress like that at work (but there are a few at the bars). Wait, I do remember a Texas Ranger (law enforcment officer, not baseball player) who matched that description, but he had guns and stuff to complete his ensemble.
What is to be done by those of us who were raised by old-time cowboys (not rodeo-circuit, Granddad worked cattle) and can’t imagine wearing a hat indoors? Hat-head is sooo like, totally uncool, but Granny would rise up from her grave and smack that hat right off my head, young man. Should I get a buzz-cut? I’m afraid a barber might mention some thinning towards the back, and then I’d have to kill him.
Ladies, unless your fingernails are digging into my back, I don’t care if they are French manicured or not. Save the $50/month and buy something slinky.
Sadly, no. I’m destined to be unappreciated in my own time. Perhaps years in the future, my work will be discovered and hailed for the genius it represents.
I just hope my wife is dead by then, so she can’t tell people how I pick my toenails in the bed at night, or how I keep forgetting what I’m hungry for between the time I walk into the kitchen and when I open the refrigerator door. That would sully my reptutation, I think.
I’m not sure what to think of you now, Sauron. Let’s just say that the impression you’ve generated leaves me imagining you as a curious amalgam of Flavor Flav and a lumberjack.
My husband likes to wear his Superman costume around the house sometimes. When wearing a Superman costume as loungewear, does he still need to wear an athletic supporter to prevent visible genital lines? Nobody but me will see him (and I’ve already seen what he’s got), but he might answer the door and frighten small children.