noticed there’s a lot of wusses around here whining when something isn’t posted in the right category. If it has a question mark at the end it can be in general questions. Now you fools need to get a life and quit spending all day around here… thats why you’ve got thousands of posts. Get a life nerds. p.s. up yours.
I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
I will give you three guesses as to whom the next banned doper will be, and the first two don’t count.
Adam
I guess Agent Foxtrot and friedo. Can’t think of a third, though.
Boy rewind, you must have just finished reading “How to make friends and influence people” I forsee a long and prestigious career for you here at the Dope. Or not.
Nice waste of $14.95.
Couldn’t this have gone in MPSIMS?
Am I a schmuck too?
I always thought I was more of a poopyhead.
I’ll bet it’s his little brother posting.
Thanks for all the valuable contributions you’ve made to this board so far, rewindforward. It’ll be sad not to see you around here any more.
Not real sad, but hey.
Little boy, you need to go home now. You’re annoying the adults.
Perhaps a better guide to Straight Dope Message Board practices would be the forum page.
General Questions
Got a factual question for the Teeming Millions (and possibly Cecil) to consider? Post it here.
Emphasis in original.
OBTW: Cite? If you don’t back up your assertions, some may think you can’t or you’re too afraid to.
Aw, bubby just needs a {{{{{HUG}}}}}
Cite? 
But I’m not a schmuck. I’m a jackass. I demand that you retract your baseless accusation.
Oh, hell. I’ll 'fess up. I’m a schmuck. And a yutz.
The principal told me to “pull my damn pants up.” Again. I’m suing.
Buh bye.
Jim Anchower, is that you? Can I have my REO Speedwagon tape back? 
rewindforward, your posting history reveals a disturbing mix of cluelessness and combatative incoherence. As much as we all appreciate the valuable insights of angry illiterate people, yours are not so unique as to be irreplaceable.
To put it more plainly: if you want to continue posting here, stop acting like a dick.
Take heart, rewindforward. Not everyone here despises you although almost everyone does. Some of us are grateful that you have taken the time from your exciting and brilliant career, no doubt in the realm of high finance, to bestow upon us your literary masterpieces, which appear as if they were written by an incoherent, spaced-out, and none-too-bright loser, but which are instead magnificent parodies worthy of Jim Anchower himself.