Love in the Age of Trump, or, I fell in love with a Republican

In My Humble Opinion
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lol, this isn’t hardly unusual, the idea of two different political factions in the same household, but given this thread by @Czarcasm , I just wanted to see if his prediction would come true - that some of y’all just wouldn’t be able to help yourselves in the snark. And if the SDMB has dropped to the level he thinks, well, we need to up our tolerance game.

Because it’s like I told Inna: our votes canceled each others’ out anyway. Now we just know who’s vote we are canceling. And rejecting her (or her, I) merely because of political opinions… in the United States of America… is just stupid and self-defeating, given all the other ways in which we are so right for each other.

Anyway, some of y’all “know” me, you definitely know my opinions, and, as noted above, I’m kinda interested in seeing just how my friends (and foes! :stuck_out_tongue: ) react to the news. Will say, my real-world friends are a bit surprised, but then, they may know me better. :laughing:

Oh, one thing: She’s a Republican, not a Trump supporter. Yes, there are differences. Long story short, she’s ambitious and when she came to the US she was told there’s one party on the side of business, and that’s pretty much it.

Lastly, aim your questions at me, not her. Don’t ask “Well, doesn’t she UNDERSTAND… ???” because I am not asking her to defend her thoughts about your pet issue. Or, simply put, since she’s not here to tell you her thoughts, don’t ask me about them. The paragraph above will be as much as I divulge - if she wants to register (and, yes, she knows about this place, lol, everyone in my life does), she can do so. :slight_smile:

In closing, in a country which prides itself on being a “melting pot”, a place where religious and political plurality is to be expected, rejecting love on such a measure is… well, it’s not just silly…

It’s rather unamerican.

So… tell us your thoughts and experiences with Love in the Age of Trump, especially those of you in divided households.

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One of my best friends is still a Republican. Though he is also not a Trumper. We generally don’t talk politics much. It is easier.

When we got married, my wife was a Dem and I was a Repub. But I was a Green Repub and we met through an environmental group. The social issues pushed me away from Republican Party and then they became anti-Green, so I pretty much voted not Repub and then Cheney happened and I left the party officially.

My wife remains a Dem. I guess I’m effectively a Dem but not officially one.

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My first two girlfriends were substantially more conservative that I was. The first, when I was living in L.A., was a card-carrying Republican, and would occasioanlly dress up as the ballooning national debt as a Halloween costume. Also a big “support the military no matter what they do” mentality. I liked her a lot, and considering I coudln’t even vote when I lived down there, it really didn’t come up that often.

The second was a banking lawyer whose work largely involved the privatization of former crown corporations, so she was very much on the corporatist side of things. We didn’t particularly like each other much, so no great loss when it ended.

These days, in surfing the online personals, I tend to swipe left on anyone who declares that they’re a conservative under the politics question. I’m sure I’m rejecting some people I’d otherwise get along with, but particularly now, in Ontario, conservative could mean “favors a robust military and fiscal responsibility” or it could mean “Ford Nation” or “support the convoy” and I’m just not interested in risking it.

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Definitely understand that, and have done the same re: swiping left. Inna and I were matched by a mutual friend, one who definitely knows both of us well, so I didn’t make that mistake with her.

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Well, it may not have been love, but … pre-Covid, my wife and I were swingers. We knew our favorite couple – with whom we’d had lots of great time (not just sex, but concerts, PG barbecues and even traveling together) – were Republicans, but the emergence of Trump in 2015 really changed them. Their opinions got much more aggressive, and they couldn’t seem to stop voicing them.

Our last get-together (at a bar watching the Cubs in the 2016 World Series) was so uncomfortable we knew we’d probably never see them again. And we haven’t.

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My reaction is just that I’d think you of all people would find it difficult to date a Republican. You’re just very passionate (and very snarky) about your distaste for Republican ideas, even the ones that aren’t Trumpian.

My guess is that she’s also kinda snarky, and thus it’s kinda a mutual thing between you two. Am I right?

To be clear, I’m just voicing surprise, not judgement. I don’t know this person. I would only possibly judge if she were a bigot (and not of the accidental kind), but you’ve given no indication that is the case.

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I’m not dating a Republican. I’m in love with Inna.

A little bit more background: she was born and raised in the Soviet Union in a small Ukrainian village of 150 people (she literally saw the Chernobyl plant explode). She married a Russian officer just when the USSR collapsed, they lived in Tajikistan for 10-odd years, having a son in the process. Divorce occurs, then she married a US serviceman who moved her and her son to the US around 2008, citizenship coming soon thereafter. She and her husband started a few businesses, none of them really taking off. She now owns her own accounting firm, started last year, and it’s close to being self-sufficient as her sole earning vehicle.

Husband #2 just decided to take off last year, apparently he had unfinished business of his own, we were introduced in January, and here we are.

So, with a background like that, she is a person who makes her way in the world, a survivor, and I’m not worried that… in the end… she merely chose the other one of the two major political parties in the US.

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So I’m guessing it didn’t work out with the Spanish-speaking waitress then… :grin:

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Lol! No, nor with the other ones mentioned throughout my time here! But they are all wonderful people, many of whom I’m still in touch with.

But Inna is genuinely different.

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What makes us happy doesn’t always make sense. I would find it difficult to relate to someone with such a different worldview, but then, I don’t date very much.

There’s nothing wrong with a number of conservative policies, there are a number that I favor over the Democrat’s position. The ones that are wrong are very wrong, however, which is why I fully support Democrats, even if I don’t fully support their policy positions.

I assume that if she actually supports policies you find abhorrent, that you would not find her compatible, even if some of the people she does support in her support of less odious polices do.

My concern would be the near future. Political discourse is actually pretty mellow right now, as everyone rests up and takes stock for the upcoming presidential battle. If you can make it through the next election cycle intact, that’s a pretty powerful relationship.

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It can work, especially if she’s a Republican and not a Republican!!!. My wife is pretty far left and I’m fairly moderate on most things, but we get along fine.

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Just a quick update, today marks our one-year anniversary from when I first reached out to her…

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In the meantime, we have gone on a couple of trips (and have more planned for this year, including Vegas and a cruise (now if we could take a cruise to Vegas, that would be something to talk about)), we are working on building the bookkeeping business (2 new clients just this week alone), we are living together, and, hell, I even wrote her a book:

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As far as politics are concerned, a couple of weeks ago she noted that she isn’t up to voting for any Republican in 2024 (because of their stance on Ukraine, where her mother, sister, and extended family still live) but is not really thrilled about voting for a Democrat. Which is fine, I love her regardless, and a lost-vote for the Republicans just as good as a gained 1/2 vote for the D’s.

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And love wins the race.
I’m so happy you have love.

Makes my day.

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Yeah, I have a couple of them, but one- disgusted with trump- re-registered as a Dem, but he is still old-school GOP. He despises trump and all that he stands for. He is against late term abortion (with some exceptions), against gun control, etc. He says that getting rid of Roe was a huge mistake for the GOP.

But MAGA? I couldnt date or live with one.

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“passion” is good - makes you being alive!

given that she is an implant, chances are she is not going into the deep end.

And (just eyeballing it here) from somebody born and raised in the USSR, everything that could be considered woke - must be waaay out there … so in a way her pol. position is unsurprising

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Have you mentioned that the economy tends to do better under Democratic leadership?

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Oh, yeah. I even wrote a substack with this as my thesis and sent it to her.

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Then I have exactly zero questions. I only wish you well.

I have enjoyed countless hours of debate and discussion with what the MAGAs call “RINOs,” or what I simply call “old-school conservatives.”

But I’ve never had a pleasant or productive exchange with a MAGA when politics was involved. They have been riled up too hard, too often, too thoroughly, by way of too much demagoguery and abject dishonesty, inflaming too many irrational passions.

I simply can’t find the lingua franca.

I wish you both nothing but happiness.

I guess I do wonder one thing: what does she think about the two primary political parties’ respective views on the war in (against/on) Ukraine … in a nutshell?

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To quote:

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We’re working on it! Give climate change a few decades and check back.