I want to teach my younger cousin (age 8) these lyrics, (she is my favorite cute cousin, the sister I never had) but I can’t remember these lyrics. All I can remember is:
Hello operator, gimme number nine,
Thanks in advance, I need to babysit her and I don’t want to be stuck with nothing to do with her.
Here.
Thanks, Number, but not exactly what I was looking for. The one I mean is the children’s jumprope song, that whoever hears it thinks there are curses but the curses turn into another innocent word… Wow…is it possible to confuse myself?
Oh my, I don’t know if the lyrics I remember are the ones you are looking for, nor if they are appropriate for an 8 year old…
And the whole thing didn’t start with “Hello Operator…”, but with a young lass named Susie.
Anyways, here goes:
Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell
Susie went to heaven, the steamboat went to
Hello operator, gimme number nine,
And if you disconnect me, I’ll chop off your
Behind the refrigerator, there is a piece of glass,
And if you slip upon it, you’ll fall upon your
Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell you no more lies,
The cows are in the pasture, making chocolate pies!
Another favorite of myself (probably when I was around 8 as well!) was this one:
A little Miss, went out to
Pi----------ck some flowers,
Out in the grass, up to her
A------nkles bare.
Along came a bird, and dropped a
Turrrrrrrrrkey feather,
Gave her such a start, she let a
Farrrrrrrrrrmer take her home.
Silliness abounds. 
That’s it, leafrog! Thanks so much! Wow, Topaz’sKidCuz will be happy.
:smack:Oh my god, I just posted the complete lyrics to two songs!
Don’t hurt me, Eutychus!!
Hello, operator, give me Sickles’ Cemetery
Where good people go to heaven and bad people go to
Hello, operator (etc., etc.)
A variant on the lyrics:
Miss Susie had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell (toot, toot)
(etc.)
Behind the 'frigerator, there was a piece of glass.
Miss Susie sat upon it, and broke her little
Ask me no more questions, please tell me no more lies.
The boys are in the bathroom, zipping up their
Flies are in the meadow, bees are in the park.
Miss Susie and her boyfriend are kissing in the
D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, dark, dark, dark!
I think this is the illogical and corrupted version, where bells go “toot” and one “breaks” oneself by sitting upon a sharp object. For what it’s worth, I learned it in upstate New York.
Cadbury Angel, that’s the way they sing it in the Midwest also. I learned it as a young tender lad and snickered like a fool.
Cadbury, that is quite curious. Could this song be a parallel to religion?
I am from the Southwest (Texas) and the song patter is the same with the exceptions
-The girls name is Lucy instead of Susie
-"Hello…Number 9…if you disconnect me, I’ll KICK you from
-“Behind the refrigerator…piece of glass…Lucy sat upon it, and cut her little”
-“Ask me no more questons…lies…Lucy’s in the bathroom, kissing all the guys!”
Intresting.Actullay I meant to make a thread about Nursery Rhymes and how strangely sad and evil some can be. Anyone remember “Eddie-cuchie-catchie-canna-toss-a-nara-toss-a-noka-samma-kmma-wacky-brown” and about how he fell int the well and subsequently drowned to death?
I heard it was LuLu who had the steamboat.
The variant I learned had
“Ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies
Miss Susie told me all of this the day before she
dyed her hair all purple, she dyed her hair all pink
she dyed her hair all polka dots and washed it down the
sink me in the ocean, sink me in the sea
you can piddle in the puddle, but please don’t pee on me.”
Kids’ rhymes are weird.
I thought it was Mary…
Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Susie went to heaven
The steamboat went to
Hell-o operator,
Give me Number Nine
If you disconnect me
I’ll kick you from behind
The frigerator
There is a piece of glass
If you Go behind there
You’ll cut your little
Ask me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
This is what Miss Susie said
The night before she
Died her hair purple
She died her hair pink
She died her hair polka-dot
And washed it down the sink!
That was one of my fave songs as a kid.
Hello, all, btw.
That sounds like a “Little Willy.” And what is a Little Willy? The particular bland of black humor, according to my memory and the more reliable Norton Book of Light Verse, it is this: “a comic verse form, … identified by its content, the gruesome fate of “Little Willy” or a comparable figure.”
Many are collected in "“Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes,” by Harry Graham. You can also find them in turn of the century newspapers and magazines. (Graham was born in the 187os.) Here are some samples of his work:
(1)
Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes;
Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven’t the heart to poke poor Willie.
(2)
Little Willy from his mirror
Licked the mercury right off,
Thinking in his childish error,
It would cure the whooping cough.
At the funeral his mother
Smartly said to Mrs. Browne:
"Twas a chilly day for Willie
When the mercury went down.
(3)
Willy with a thirst for gore,
Nailed his sister to the door.
Mother said with humor quaint,
“Now willy dear, don’t scratch the paint!”
(4)
In the family drinking well,
Willy pushed his sister Nell.
She is there yet, because it kilt her.
Now we have to buy a filter.
(5)
Willy saw some dynamite,
Couldn’t understand it quite.
cuiosity seldom pays,
It rained Willy for 7 days.
(6)
Willie and two other brats
Licked up all the Rough-On-Rats.*
Father said, when Mother cried,
“Don’t worry, dear, they’ll die outside.”
(7)
Willie poisoned father’s tea.
Father died in agony.
Mother was extremely vexed –
“Really, Will,” she said, “what next?”
(8)
Little Willy saw a mill saw buzz,
Didn’t know quite what it was,
Now his arm is full of nicks,
And, Alas! poor Willy, he’s cut in six.
(9)
Little Willy coming home from school,
Spied a dollar at the foot of a mule,
He stooped down to get it,
quiet as a mouse.
Funeral tomorrow at little Willy’s house!
In another one, Little Willy falls down a well or an elevator shaft and wasn’t found for several days, all the neighbors said “what a spoiled child Willy is!” He’s also poisoned by led paint from a toy monkey. Oh, the fun never stops. Talk about MPSIMS.
Comet, it tastes like gasoline…
*Brand-name rat poison.
Comet tastes like Listerine, makes your mouth turn green, etc.
When my friends and I used to clap to “Miss Suzie”, we went on from the “dark dark dark” part with:
The dark is like a movie
a movie’s like a show
a show is like a TV show
and that is all I…
know you know my ma
I know you know my pa
I know you know my sister
with the 40-acre bra!
At which case we’d bust into giggles, 'cause it was soooooo funny.
The song, in its entirety, as I learned from my friend’s older sister:
Miss Suzie had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell (ding ding!)
Miss Suzie went to heaven,
The steamboat went to
Hell-o operator,
Please give me number nine
And if you cut me off,
I’ll chop off your
Behind the 'fridgerator,
There was a piece of glass,
Miss Suzie sat upon it,
And broke her little
Ask me no more questions
I’ll tell you no more lies
The boys were in the bathroom,
Zipping up their
Flies were in the meadow,
The bees were in the park,
Miss Suzie and her boyfriend
Were kissing in the
Dark is like a movie,
A movie’s like a show,
A show is like a TV
And that is all I know
I know my Ma,
I know I know my Pa,
I know I know my sister
With the forty-acre bra!
We used to sing it at the top of our lungs on long car trips. Drove our parents nuts.
That’s how I learned it, except with a few little changes, as a cross-clapping rhyme:
Miss Suzie had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Suzie went to heaven,
The steamboat went to
Hell-o operator,
Gimme number nine
And if you disconnect me,
I’ll cut off your
Behind the 'fridgerator,
There was a piece of glass,
Miss Suzie sat upon it,
And broke her little
Ask me no more questions
tell me no more lies
The boys were in the bathroom,
Zipping down their
Flies are in the city,
Bees are in the park,
Boys and girls are kissing
In the D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K
D-A-R-K - dark, dark, dark!
In Alabama, in the late 80s early 90s, we sang a slightly differnt version of this. It went…
"Miss Susie had a steamboat. The steamboat had a bell. Miss susie went to heaven, the steamboat went to
Hello operator, gimmie #9. And if you disconnect me, Ill kick you in your
Behind the refrigerator there was a piece of glass. Miss Susie slipped upon it and cut her little
Ask me no more questions, Ill tell you no more lies. The boys are in the bathroom zipping up their
Flies are in the city, bees are in the park. Miss Susie and her boyfriend and kissing in the
D-A-R-K- D-A-R-K dark dark
dark is in the movies and dark is in the show. Dark is in the theater and that is all I know.
I know I know my pa. I know I know my ma. I know I know my sister with an 18 hour 18 hour bra bra bra "