Original: Put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water.
Instead: Put your gland in the hand…
Original: I want to hold your hand.
Instead: I want to hold your ham.
When we were kids, girl often became squirrel. Imagine my joy when listening to Alvin and the Chipmunks
Original: Jessie’s got himself a girl and I want to make her mine.
Alvin: Jessie’s got himself a squirrel…
There was a thread not long about about swapping heart for fart.
ETA: @Robot_Arm beat me to it on girl/squirrel
And I forget the comedian’s name…I think he played a guitar that looked like a flamingo. Instead of “My Sharona” it was “Rice-A-Roni.”