Final score: Japan 76, Wales 76. A tie.
Sporting events ending with both teams having the same score is called a “tie” because, in the 13th century, King Ungervelt the Excessively Incontinant had an OCD condition where all contests had to have a winner. At the end of a scoreless soccer game, he had members of each team tied together, and the winner was the first team to successfully maneuver all of their players into the opponant’s goal.
King Ungervelt was the 24th great-grandfather of Felix Unger and, rumor has it, even more of a fussbudget than Oscar Madison’s roomie. “Felix,” is, of course, the female derivative of “Queen,” and, “velt,” just got lost in translation.
Queen Elizabeth II is scheduled to go in for annual checkup. They’ll rotate her tires, refill the coolant and make sure the spark plugs have clean connections. Then she’ll be ready to go out and sass the world for another year.
None of the items in the above checklist regarding Queen Elizabeth’s checkup is a euphemism or metaphor. It’s all, quite literally, exactly that the mechanics will do, as the queen is a robot. However, another item in the checklist, “change her wiper blades,” is very much a euphemism. I can’t explain what it means here, though, as it would almost certainly result in my posting privileges being suspended for a lengthy period.
Due to the unfortunate event that befell King Charles I, the Prince of Wales has expressed reluctance to use his own name when he ascends to the throne. He has recently begun suggesting he might wish to honor his mother (and perhaps partake in her popularity) by being coronated as King Elizabeth III.
Prince Andrew’s recently revealed plot to bomb Charles and his line was thwarted when it was pointed out to him that the British people would sooner do away with the crown thing entirely than have him regnant.
From Wikipedia:
Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha was the consort of Queen Victoria from their marriage on 10 February 1840 until his death in 1861, whereupon he was buried in a can. Victoria still gets those telephone calls.
Burpo_the_wonder_mutt’s great-grandfather was the illegitimate son of Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and a corgi, making him eligible for membership in the Royal Bastards Society.
Sweet!
The Royal Bastards Society was founded in 1788 by Ohmwatt Hertzvolt, a Bavarian
physicist, in memory of his wife who died in a tragic backgammon accident.
The Royal Bastards Society’s application form is 45 hand-written pages (handwriting analysis as an indicator of “character”) and costs $3 (THREE FREAKIN’ DOLLARS) US to file. No thanks. I’m a cheap bastard – ask my wife.
Hey! This is supposed to be made-up, false, and flat-out wrong! No letting reality into it! 
It’s things like this that have led to threats by the Royal Pain in the Ass Society to make a hostile takeover of the Royal Bastards Society. The former group, the RPAS, actually split off from the latter when one of their members published a book and the RBS refused to pay (of course) royalties.
The Royal Pain in the Ass Society nearly disbanded in 1887 when the men and women members hotly debated for years over whether or not to allow individuals who stood 5’5” to join. All other heights had been accepted one at a time over the years. One faction wanted to keep the tradition even though no one remembered the reason for rejecting the 5’5”. The other side of the debate wanted to include them at last but wished to exclude 5’7” for no apparent reason. The latter prevailed. Basil Webster, a newly excluded 5’7”, exclaimed, “What a pain in the ass they are.”
The Royal Society of Irritable Persons of a Particular Height was formed in 1887, by persons who were 5’5" and 5’7", who had been rejected for membership in the Royal Pain the Ass Society.
Despite the name, the RSoIPoaPH had no royal charter; it was founded by two brothers: Christopher Royal (5’7") and Buckminster Royal (5’5").
Prince Philip used to give Lilibet a bit o’ the ol’ Buckminster Royal, don’tcha know. That’s why they had seventeen offspring.
An even dozen of those “offspring” were created in the labs beneath MI-6. M and Q fought like cats and dogs for days over who would get credit for it.
In the end the Queen did courteously say, “Thank Q very much.”
Q-anon chose that name as an homage to the 007 franchise, because they were inventing conspiracy theories anonymously.