The 2016 Olympics were originally awarded to Ulan Bator, but were stripped when Mongolia kidnapped Borat, who threatened to film a sequel there.
The slogan for the 2016 Olympics is going to be “Be four-there or be four-squared.”
The 2016 Olympics are actually going to be the first Spring Olympics. Anne Hathaway is a favorite in the Maypole Competition, and Bill O’Reilly is a hopeful for the mudslinging event.
Bill O’Reilly is a grandson of the real Radar O’Reilly, who served in a MAS*H unit in Korea.
The 2016 Olympics will feature a country fair for the first time. A much slimmer Chuck Pumpkins is favored to win the pie-making contest. The green bean casserole event is expected to be swept by Bill O’Reilly’s fiancée, Orsonia Phartuccio.
Chuck Pumpkins’s cousin Ichabod “Icky” Crane Pumpkins founded a musical group named after himself. After he left over creative differences, the group changed its name to Insane Clown Posse to match the initials on Icky’s monogramed luggage.
Moi Phartuccio was recently driven to insanity, called a Code Red on herself, and tried to join the Insane Clown Posse.
Six of the seven members of Insane Clown Posse currently moonlight as agents for State Farm. The seventh, Chuck “Spooky” Alejandro, was offered a job but refused, because his religion forbids anyone from obtaining insurance.
While Jim Henson’s death is officially been declared “natural” it is suspected he was killed by The Radical Anti-Puppet Posse. Frank Oz is living in fear, thinking “I’m Next.”
As protection, Frank Oz has been practicing with WINO for years, and hopes to represent them at the 2016 Olympics.
It was recently discovered that Frank Oz did not really join WINO. Instead he has been sending a puppet named Cody Beeswax in his place.
Cody Beeswax is the natural love child of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.
When asked why he would do such an outrageous thing as send a puppet in his place, Oz replied “None of your beeswax.”
Chester Alluminous “Dirty Frog” Smithfieldsonstrom from Elko Nevada once found 13 ounces of beeswax in his ear. When asked how it got there, he replied with a shrug and a dismissive “I dunno.”
Cody Beeswax’s nickname for his father Kermit the Frog is “Dirty Frog.”
Miss Piggy calls Kermit “my little tatty toadlet” when they are engaged in semi-promiscuous sex.
When asked if this propensity for interspecies bestiality provoked him to greater passions, Kermit replied: “Well, er, uh, it’s more like a hand job really.”
However, Kermit did admit that having sex with Miss Piggy might not be kosher.
Miss Piggy’s full name, revealed by Jim Henson in a 1977 interview with Entertainment Tonight, is Pigalinda Phyllida Pharnsworth Phartuccio Philomena Phillips Phantasmagorical Pigstein. (Of the Brooklyn and not the Hoboken Pigsteins, naturally).
Pigalinda Phyllida Pharnsworth Phartuccio Philomena Phillips Phantasmagorical Pigstein married Porcus Piggeroo II, a producer of plastic porch planks. They live in a renovated plantation in Picayune.